Compliments to the cook
People in Eastern North Carolina eat Chitl'ns (Chitterlings=hog guts).
Do you know how to cook chitlins?
Boil the shit out of them.
My wife is a fitter and turner. She fits food into pots and turns it into shit.
My wife has a black belt in cooking One chop and your dead!
"My wife is such a lousey cook that if I leave dental floss in the kitchen, the roaches hang themselves."
My partner's cooking is so bad that we pray AFTER we eat.
Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."
Husband: "Which is this?"
Being retired, I have more time to help out my wife in the kitchen; like putting all the fires out for one thing.
Around my house no one ever sez, "Guess who's coming to dinner" because nine times out of ten, it's the paramedics.