This is only in fun...not meant to offend...I hope you enjoy these....
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the stepladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything--bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
QUICKSAND WARNING: quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned, by order of the District Council.
NOTICE IN DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door--the bell doesn't work)