04-07-2005, 01:09 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 170
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The Strippers of California Aptitude Test
The Strippers of California Aptitude Test In order for California to maintain its status as the strippers capital of the world. This test is required to be taken by all graduating women of our high school system. High marks can land you a lucrative job in our adult entertainment industry. The finest in the world. The test is based on a 75 point system. You can receive up to 4 points for the most correct answer to each question. If you have been a captain or co-captain of a cheerleading or dance squad. You will be given one point for each year you served as a captain or co-captain (3 points max). For, with this experience you are already halfway to stripper status. We require a score of 85% or higher to work in our most premier clubs. Our patrons expect nothing less than the best. GOOD LUCK. SCAT Exam 1. What is the proper course of action after a patron accuses you of having low self esteem. A. Begin to sob un controllably and return to the dressing room. B. Begin to sob un controllably and start in with a sad story. C. Genteelly lean in close and allow them to better see your breast. D. Suggest - with bigger tits and then bigger tips you can get out of a place like this much faster. 2. Which action will greatly increase your earning power in a club. A. The ability to bend your legs behind your head. B. The ability to do a butt quiver for 15 seconds. C. A Clean shaven--not so private--private region. D. The ability to accept tips by using vaginal muscles only. 3. What is the best way to increase your visibility in the market place. A. Do lots of private parties for wealthy men. B. Become a very special friend of Ben Affleck and Christian Slater. C. An appearance on the Howard Stern show. D. Pose for a men’s magazine. 4. Which magazine is best for your image as a stripper. A. Playboy B. Stuff C. Hustler D. Vanity fair. 5. Which story works best on the professional patron. A. It’s the only job that would pay me enough to care for my child. B. It’s the only job that would pay me enough to care for my sick mother.. C. I am just doing this to put myself through school. D. I like the power this jobs gives me over men. 6. Which story works best on the blue collar patron. A. I am just trying to find a good father for my child. B. I am a nymphomaniac, this is the only place to meet good sexual partners. C. I was evicted from my apartment and this job pays very well quickly. D. I need money to leave my boyfriend, he likes to hit me. 7. A successful night with rich men is when. A. You leave the club with over $5,000 in tips. B. You leave with a free invite to a South Pacific island. C. You leave with a free car no string attached or pulled. D. All of the above. 8. The true test of a great stripper is. A. To take the last dollar of a rock star. B. To take the last dollar of a blue collar working stiff. C. To land a role in a Hollywood film. D. To take the last dollar of a Catholic Priest. 9. What do men enjoy watching women do on a stage more. A. Swinging around a pole. B. Doing lots of splits. C. Touching their very talented breasts. D. Touching other women’s very talented breast. 10. The proper response to an unsolicited sex act is. A. Immediately call for security. B. Explain how it is that time of month. C. Size him or her up and see if the price can reach into the thousands. D. Suggest a special lap dance, with strategic use of your knee and butt. 11. The size of your breast is directly proportional to. A. The amount of envy you will receive from other women. B. The amount admiration you will receive from men. C. The amount of money you will receive over base stripper salary. D. All of the above. 12. The best job outside of stripping is. A. Doing work in adult movies B. Doing work for the Vivid company. C. Becoming a well rounded high class prostitute. D. Doing a daily soap opera. 13. Which is a more important talent for a stripper. A. Being a good dancer. B. The ability to seem vulnerable and helpless. C. The ability to smile and touch disgusting men. D. The ability to convince men you have a secret lesbian fantasy involving them. 14. The finest Strip clubs are located in what city? A. Las Vegas, Nevada B. Los Angeles, California C. South Beach, Miami D. Toronto, Canada 15. Which song is considered the Strippers anthem. A. “Hot Child in the City” by Nick Gilder B. “Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crue C. “Private Dancer” by Tina Turner D. “Stroke Me” by Billy Squire 16. Which group of patrons tip better in the Champagne room? A. Basketball players B. Baseball players C. Football players D. Soccer players 17. The best response when called a whore is. A. If you could, I know you would ‘sister’ B. Your husband likes having this whore tease him, more than having sex with you. C. Which one us has ‘the Herpes’? D. Would love to talk, but I have to go pick up my BMW. Which your husband help pay for. 18. Demi Moore is to stripping. A. As Julia Roberts is to love sick insecure actresses. B. As Julia Roberts is to law students who bang their professor. C. As Julia Roberts is to hot crusading women. D. As Julia Roberts is to paid hooking up. The Answers. 01. A(1), B(2), C(3), D(4) 02. A(3), B(2), C(1), D(4) 03. A(1), B(2), C(4), D(3) 04. A(4), B(1), C(3), D(2) 05. A(2), B(1), C(3), D(4) 06. A(1), B(2), C(3), D(4) 07. A(3), B(1), C(2), D(4) 08. A(3), B(2), C(1), D(4) 09. A(1), B(2), C(3), D(4) 10. A(1), B(2), C(3), D(4) 11. A(1), B(2), C(3), D(4) 12. A(2), B(4), C(3), D(1) 13. A(1), B(4), C(2), D(3) 14. A(3), B(4), C(1), D(2) 15. A(2), B(4), C(3), D(1) 16. A(4), B(2), C(3), D(1) 17. A(1), B(3), C(2), D(4) 18. A(1), B(3), C(2), D(4) By B.E. Bell's Satirical Corner
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One Man's torture session is another Man's come to Jesus Meeting 
Last edited by bbell; 06-18-2005 at 11:13 PM. |
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06-01-2009, 11:23 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo Enthusiast
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Bbell
I can see why you have not had any response to this. It's to long and the avag. attention span around here is like 1.4 secs. longer then a gold fish. Yes myself included. But not being a woman I would have scored 30 your test.
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