Patient humour

[Nigeljs]

PATIENT HUMOUR

Here are six jokes in which you'll find some humour from conversations between doctors and their patients:

(1) THE “AHHH” SOUND:
Doctor: “Stick out your tongue and say ‘Ahhh!’” Patient: “I haven’t come for an examination, doctor. I’ve come to pay my bill.” Doctor: “Ahhh!”

(2) REPAYMENT:
Cured patient: “How can I ever repay you for your kindness to me?”
Doctor: “By cheque, money-order, or cash.”

(3) THE FOUNTAIN:
Puzzled patient: “Doctor, you seem to be very reluctant to explain the situation in simple terms. Just tell me: exactly how bad is my blood pressure?”
Doctor: “Let me put it this way: if it weren’t for your skin, you’d be a fountain.”

(4) THE POPULAR DOCTOR:
[At a mental hospital]
Patients: “We like you better than that last doctor.”
New doctor (flattered and blushing): “Why?”
Patients: “You seem more like one of us.”

(5) THE ECHO IN THE CAVITY:
A man who had a tooth cavity goes to the dentist. The dentist examines him and gasps with horror. “That’s the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen! The biggest cavity I’ve ever seen! The biggest cavity I’ve ever seen!” The patient snaps irritably, “You don’t have to repeat it.” The dentist replies, “I didn’t repeat it. Those were the echoes.”

(6) NO INFERIORITY COMPLEX:
Then there was the psychiatrist who assured a patient, “You haven’t got any inferiority complex. You ARE inferior.”