You know that your church is a redneck church if . . .

[Pixsurguy]

REDNECK CHURCH

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if.... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says,"I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." five guys and two women stand up.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

You know You Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK
Chorale".

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

You Know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are fewer than 500 teeth among them.

You Know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if… Baptism is referred to as branding".

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2
galvanized washtub.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if...instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

You know that your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now!! Ya Hear."
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And some more, Something to offend almost every southern state:


A North Carolina redneck passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow. However, she can't touch it until she turns 16.
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Folks in Georgia now go to some movies in groups of 18 or more. They were told 17 and under are not admitted.
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The minimum drinking age in Georgia has been raised to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
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In Mississippi, reruns of "Hee Haw" are called documentaries.
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How can you tell if a West Virginia redneck is married? There's dried tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Georgia has a new $3,000,000 State Lottery. The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
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Recently, the Governor's Mansion in Little Rock burned down. In fact, it took out the whole trailer park.
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The best thing to ever come out of Alabama is Highway 72.
AND
The best thing to ever come out of Texas was an empty bus.
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A Tennessee State Trooper stopped a pickup truck. He asked the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver said, "Bout what?"

You know that you are in Texas if the comment is made that High School football is more important than a High School education and the response is “What’s yer point?”

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