Limericks Feel Free to add your own

[Wiremaster]

A preacher who taught expiation
Was arrested for fact fabrication:
"Pay for sin with your cash,
Not with sackcloth and ash."
But the IRS claimed his Salvation!

There once was a fellow named Finnegan
He broke out of a jail for to sin again
Broke laws by the dozen
Even stole from his cousin
So the jail he broke out of he's in again.

"When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorous abbot.
"Although it's more fun
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"

[squirt]

Stanley, that anal young fool
made sculptures out of his stool.
His version of "The Thinker"
was really a stinker,
but the portrait of Madonna was cool!

[Wiremaster]

A computer, to print out a fact,
Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
But this output can be
No more than debris,
If the input was short of exact.

A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice,
Said, "It's been hard since I lost him,
I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price."

We were painting the church steeple grey,
When the wind blew our brushes away.
We said to the pastor,
"We've had a disaster!"
He calmly replied, "Let us spray."

There was a young fellow named Sweeney,
Whose girl was a terrible meanie.
The hatch of her snatch,
Had a catch that would latch;
She could only be screwed by Houdini.

[squirt]

there was a young lady from crewe
who filled her vagina with glue
said she with a grin
if they pay to get in
they'll pay to get out of it, too!

[Wiremaster]

There lived a saintly girl from Sleepy Hollow
Who entertained the numerous men of the Wallow
When asked by Ichabod Crane:
Have you a place I might drain?
No Thanks, she replied "I don't Swallow."
~~~~~

There was a young fellow of Strensall,
Whose prick was as sharp as a pencil.
On the night of his wedding,
It went through the bedding,
And shattered the chamber utensil.

[squirt]

A wandering Munchkin named Syfe
heard a most terrible strife.
The loud grinding and shearing,
lead him to a clearing,
where the Tin Man was fucking his wife.

[brilor]

there was a young man who sent e-mails,
to various dubious females,
when asked what they said,
he just shook his head,
i'd rather not go into details.

[squirt]

A childless man took to chasin'
a curvy young girl with elation.
She asked him "why me?",
he replied, full of glee,
"you were built for the birth of a nation!"

[Wiremaster]

There lived a saintly girl from Sleepy Hollow
Who entertained the numerous men of the Wallow
When asked by Ichabod Crane:
Have you a place I might drain?
No Thanks, she replied "I don't Swallow."
~~~~~

There was a young fellow of Strensall,
Whose prick was as sharp as a pencil.
On the night of his wedding,
It went through the bedding,
And shattered the chamber utensil.


There was a young lady of Michigan,
Who said, "Damn it! I've got the itch again."
Said her mother, "That's strange,
I'm surprised it ain't mange,
If you've slept with that son-of-a-bitch again."

[brilor]

If you crossed a young intern, Lewinsky,
With a man by the name of Kaczynski,
Then the blow jobs you'd get
Would be dynamite! Yet,
You might end up without a fore-skin-ski!