Limericks Feel Free to add your own

[squirt]

Kind young Em of Victoria Falls
Once attended two popular balls.
She was mostly between ’em,
So wasn’t much seen, Em,
For both of those balls were young Paul’s.

[dezired_dreams]

There once was a girl named Madonna
To all the boys she'd ask "Do yo wanna?"
Warren Beatty said no,
called her a "HO"
Now she cries and smokes marijuana

[Wiremaster]

There was a young man with a fiddle
Who asked of his girl, "Do you diddle?"
She replied, "Yes, I do,
But prefer to with two --
It's twice as much fun in the middle."
_____________________________

There once was a girl from Siam
Who went for a ride in a tram
The dirty conductor
Jumped up and fucked her
And now she pushes a pram.

There was a young dancer, Priscillla,
Who flavored her cunt with vanilla.
The taste was so fine,
Men and beasts stood in line,
Including a stud armadilla.

[lady_blueyes]

There once was a Senator from Mass
who was searchin around for a Lass;
He lucked out and found it;
He fucked up and drowned it.
And That was the end of HIS ass!

[brilor]

A tutor who tooted a flute,
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor:
"Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?"


A canner, exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his granny:
"A canner can can
Anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"


A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly: "Let us flee."
Said the flea: "Let us fly."
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

[brilor]

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room;
And they argued all night
As to who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom.



On the chest of a barmaid in Sale,
Were tattoed the prices of ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille.

[brilor]

Of my husband I do not ask much,
Just an all mod and con little hutch;
Bank account in my name,
With cheque book to same,
Plus a small fee for fucking and such.

[brilor]

There was a young man from Poole
Who found a red ring round his tool.
He went to the clinic
Where the doctor, a cynic,
Said, "Wash it, 'tis lipstick, you fool!"

[brilor]

There once was a girl from France
Who got on a train in a trance
Everyone fucked her
Except the conductor
He got one off in his pants

[brilor]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Took a pig in the bushes to fuck it.
As he entered the rear,
The pig squealed "Come around here,
Enter from the front and I'll suck it.