Damn Good Definitions

Wiremaster · 08-04-2006, 02:56 AM

Damn Good Definitions

ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing.

ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end.

CANNIBAL - One who is apt to pass his best friend.

CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.

CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold.

COOKIE - A virgin doughnut.

DANCE - A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen.

DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.

DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket.

DIARY - Book of revelations.

DOCTOR - A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his face slapped.

ENEMA - A goose with a gush.

EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush.

FATHER'S DAY - Nine months before labor day.

GENTLEMAN - One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows.

GIGGALO - The egg that laid the golden Goose.

GLAMOUR GIRL - a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other things; one who doesn't worry about the meat shortage.

HORSE SHOW - A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses' asses showing their horses.

HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed.

KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night.

HUNG CHOW - Chinese constipation.

A KISS - Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise.

MASTURBATION - A solo played on a private organ.

METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a common ore.

MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.

MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.

MOTHER'S DAY - Nine months after fathers day.

DONKEY BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass.

NUN - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none.

NURSE - A pan handler.

NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.

PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

PIMP - A crack salesman; a nookie bookie.

PREGNANCY - When a woman is all swelled up from her mate's handiwork.

RHUMBA - An asset to music.

SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods.

SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.

SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.

SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.

STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.

TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals.

TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap.

TRIPLETS - Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.

VISE - Anything you enjoy that is bad for you.

VIRGINITY - A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it's gone forever.

VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.

dezired_dreams · 08-04-2006, 09:48 AM

Yes those are pretty good and I am sure there are a lot more LOL

**squirt** · 08-04-2006, 01:30 PM

I kinda like the adultery thing lol that's lookin' at it through rose colored glasses lol *singing* these rose colored glasses that I'm seein' through ... lol

Wiremaster · 08-04-2006, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dezired_dreams

Yes those are pretty good and I am sure there are a lot more LOL

Probably are but I haven't foind them yet LOL

Wiremaster · 08-04-2006, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirt

I kinda like the adultery thing lol that's lookin' at it through rose colored glasses lol *singing* these rose colored glasses that I'm seein' through ... lol

LOL but the conscience thing will get you LOL

dezired_dreams · 08-04-2006, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wiremaster

Probably are but I haven't foind them yet LOL

Oh I am sure someone will come up with them sooner or later LOL

Kit_Kat_Katauna · 08-04-2006, 11:56 PM

LMFAO. Good post sweetie. LOL.

I Like the sissy one. LMFAO.

Kit_Kat_Katauna · 08-04-2006, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirt

I kinda like the adultery thing lol that's lookin' at it through rose colored glasses lol *singing* these rose colored glasses that I'm seein' through ... lol

LMFAO. Got Rose colored glasses do ya?

Wiremaster · 08-05-2006, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dezired_dreams

Oh I am sure someone will come up with them sooner or later LOL

LOL someone will eventually LOL

Wiremaster · 08-05-2006, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kit_Kat_Katauna

LMFAO. Good post sweetie. LOL.

I Like the sissy one. LMFAO.

LOL That would be me LOL, too disgusting to take a leak in the water I am sitting in LOL

08-04-2006, 02:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
Wiremaster Jokaroo VIP Status Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: From Arkansas, stuck in Michigan Posts: 54,210 Rep Power: 1128	Damn Good Definitions Damn Good Definitions ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing. ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got. BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end. CANNIBAL - One who is apt to pass his best friend. CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself. CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good. CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold. COOKIE - A virgin doughnut. DANCE - A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen. DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer. DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket. DIARY - Book of revelations. DOCTOR - A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his face slapped. ENEMA - A goose with a gush. EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush. FATHER'S DAY - Nine months before labor day. GENTLEMAN - One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows. GIGGALO - The egg that laid the golden Goose. GLAMOUR GIRL - a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other things; one who doesn't worry about the meat shortage. HORSE SHOW - A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses' asses showing their horses. HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed. KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night. HUNG CHOW - Chinese constipation. A KISS - Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise. MASTURBATION - A solo played on a private organ. METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a common ore. MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house. MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises. MOTHER'S DAY - Nine months after fathers day. DONKEY BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass. NUN - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none. NURSE - A pan handler. NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit. PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket. PIMP - A crack salesman; a nookie bookie. PREGNANCY - When a woman is all swelled up from her mate's handiwork. RHUMBA - An asset to music. SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods. SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't. SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak. SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil. STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies. TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals. TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap. TRIPLETS - Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun. VISE - Anything you enjoy that is bad for you. VIRGINITY - A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it's gone forever. VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder. __________________

08-04-2006, 09:48 AM	#2 (permalink)
dezired_dreams Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: With Wire Master in Michigan Posts: 10,220 Rep Power: 503	Yes those are pretty good and I am sure there are a lot more LOL __________________

08-04-2006, 01:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 263,191 Rep Power: 100	*I kinda like the adultery thing lol that's lookin' at it through rose colored glasses lol singing* these rose colored glasses that I'm seein' through ... lol** __________________

08-04-2006, 11:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kit_Kat_Katauna Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Keyser, West Virginia Posts: 5,130 Rep Power: 953	LMFAO. Good post sweetie. LOL. I Like the sissy one. LMFAO. __________________