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Thread: The 12 lays of Christmas

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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    Default The 12 lays of Christmas

    BACKGROUND

    The Twelve Days of Christmas are probably the most misunderstood part of the church year among Christians who are not part of liturgical church traditions. Contrary to much popular belief, these are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the beginning of Epiphany (January 6th; the 12 days count from December 25th until January 5th).

    The origin of the Twelve Days is complicated, and is related to differences in calendars, church traditions, and ways to observe this holy day in various cultures. In the Western church, Epiphany is traditionally celebrated as the time the three Wise Men or Magi arrived to present gifts to the young Jesus (Matt. 2:1-12). In some cultures, especially Hispanic and Latin American culture, January 6th is observed as Three Kings Day, or simply the Day of the Kings (Span: la Fiesta de Reyes, el Dia de los Tres Reyes, or el Dia de los Reyes Magos; Dutch: Driekoningendag). Even though December 25th is celebrated as Christmas in these cultures, January 6th is often the day for giving gifts. In some places it is traditional to give Christmas gifts for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Since Eastern Orthodox traditions use a different religious calendar, they celebrate Christmas on January 7th and observe Epiphany or Theophany on January 19th.

    By the 16th century, some European and Scandinavian cultures had combined the Twelve Days of Christmas with (sometimes pagan) festivals celebrating the changing of the year. These were usually associated with driving away evil spirits for the start of the new year.

    The Twelfth Night is January 5th, the last last day of the Christmas Season before Epiphany (January 6th), and often included feasting along with the removal of Christmas decorations. French and English celebrations of Twelfth Night included a King's Cake, remembering the visit of the Three Magi, and ale or wine (a King's Cake is part of the observance of Mardi Gras in French Catholic culture of the Southern USA). In some cultures, the King's Cake was part of the celebration of the day of Epiphany.

    The popular song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is usually seen as simply a nonsense song for children. However, some have suggested that it is a song of Christian instruction dating to the 16th century religious wars in England, with hidden references to the basic teachings of the Faith. They contend that it was a mnemonic device to teach the catechism to youngsters. The "true love" mentioned in the song is not an earthly suitor, but refers to God Himself. The "me" who receives the presents refers to every baptized person who is part of the Christian Faith. Each of the "days" represents some aspect of the Christian Faith that was important for children to learn.

    THE 12 LAYS OF CHRISTMAS ?!?!

    "In some places it is traditional to give Christmas gifts for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas". My gift here will be a post every day, celebrating not only each of the 12 DAYS of Christmas, but also the 12 LAYS of Christmas.

    Confused ?? Well, revisit each day, and you will soon see what I mean !!!

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    Senior Member jezebel64's Avatar
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    Well you've got me hooked now.........I can't wait to see whats cumming next....lmao


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    I wanna see...I wanna see!

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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jezebel64
    Well you've got me hooked now.........I can't wait to see whats cumming next....lmao
    Sorry Kelly - it is another 5 hours until Christmas day here, so you will have to wait a short time until you can see the 1st Lay of Christmas !!!

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    OK I'm waiting!!

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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    OK, it's not quite time for the 1st Lay of Christmas yet, but ....


    12 Days of Christmas – Government Economizing Measures

    [Well known for his Scrooge-like fist as Canada’s previous finance minister (... except for the $1 Billion gun registration boondoggle…), Paul Martin – the Prime Minister – intends to take a cautious approach to spending your money. Here are the economizing measures being implemented…]

    1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree
    (which never produced the cash crop that was previously forecasted by Agriculture and Agri-food Canada) will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant - providing considerable savings in maintenance;

    2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy created by senior officials that is simply not cost effective. In addition, (A) their romance during working hours could not be condoned; and (B)
    their close relationship is under investigation by the auditor-general to ensure that no undue influence was used in the creation of these positions.. The positions are, therefore, eliminated;

    3) The three French hens will remain intact.
    Their bilingualism is an asset to the organization and, following the Treasury Board Secretariat announcement on new policies on official languages, more French hens may be recruited in the new fiscal year;

    4) The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway by the department of public safety and emergency preparedness to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked;

    5) The five golden rings have been put on hold. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, appear to be in order;

    6) The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the competition process by the Public Service Commission will assure senior management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one;

    7) The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order from Bombardier. The current swans will be retained through Human Resources and Skills Development to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement;

    8) As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the Newfoundland Milk Marketing Board. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching;

    9) Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. The new department of social development (formerly income security programs) will assist the ladies with transition into retirement;

    10) Ten lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted pay and benefits at Treasury Board to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work federal cabinet ministers. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as there are currently an oversupply of unemployed former federal cabinet ministers;

    11 & 12) Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line. Canadian Heritage will oversee these changes.

    Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop the number of shipments per day, service levels will be improved.

    A decision is pending regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing" from Badger, Pester and Billem - a Brian Mulroney subsidiary).

    Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the Senate will request cabinet ministers to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.



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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    12 Days of Christmas - Cost of True Love for 2004
    Business Case for Corporate Funding


    Objective: To calculate the "True Love" cost of the 12 Days of Christmas in 2004

    Reference Lyrics: "
    The Twelve Days of Christmas" (Traditional)

    Alternatives Evaluated:
    Alternative #1: Do Nothing ("Status Quo")
    Don’t sing this song - boring! And miss out on giving 364 presents to your "True Love"?

    Alternative #2: Only sing verse 1 on the First Day Of Christmas
    This would only cost $42.17 but would only yield 1 stupid Partridge - not much of a present for your "True Love", eh?

    Alternative #3: Just buy one of each item
    Great idea - then she would have one of each at a cost of $19,054 (in 2004 Canadian dollars). You might be able to pull this off, but what if your "True Love" found out that she could have had it all? Let the arrows fly - all the goodness you've put into Christmas will unravel and 'Yule' have nothing to show! Guess you'll have to go for broke...

    Alternative #4: Sing the whole friggin' song!
    Better prepare to re-mortgage your home, your parent's home and your first born: the cost of this alternative is a whopping $662,984 in 2004 Canadian Dollars!



    Key Assumptions & Uncertainties:

    I've had to offset the high cost of the preferred Alternative #4 ($662,984) by coming up with some very creative financial benefits… This way, corporate accounting will think this is in the same league as the recent Canadian Gun Registration billion dollar boondoggle - "managed" by our very own next Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin! After all, if he can get away with it, we should be able to sing our way through this!

    2004 Cost of Presents (Canadian $):

    - Day 1: Partridge in a pear tree... $42.17
    - Day 2: Turtle Doves... $59.92
    - Day 3: French Hens... $17.75
    - Day 4: Calling Birds... $335.12
    - Day 5: Golden Rings... $538.19
    - Day 6: Geese a-laying... $179.77
    - Day 7: Swans a-swimming... $8,364.66
    - Day 8: Maids a-milking... $41.06
    - Day 9: Ladies dancing... $3,114.84
    - Day 10: Lords a-leaping... $3,600.87
    - Day 11: Pipers Piping... $1,324.94
    - Day 12: Drummers Drumming... $1,434.80
    Total Individual Cost of above 12 Presents:
    $19,054 (Alternative #3 above...)

    How Financial Benefits are Derived:
    Assumptions:
    - 1.6% annual inflation as per Statistics Canada, October 2004;
    - Discount rate of 8.0% (at least that's what the corporate weenies told me to use…);
    - Exorbitant Canadian taxes included (and cleverly hidden) in the base cost estimates;
    - many fudge factors considered… few used… best excuse benefit comes from Avoided Lost Relationship valued at $30k per year for next 20 years...

    Based on Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP) and Cooks Constant, the Financial Benefits are derived as follows:
    - NPV of $785k at useful life of my "True Love" (set at 20 years unless she gets too old too quick… then we'll rejig recalculate the numbers);
    - Benefit/Cost (B/C) of 2.1

    This project is a definite winner - shareholders will jump at the opportunity to invest $662,984 to sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" in 2004!

    Ability to Realize Benefits:
    This song will have a major impact for the rest of your life!

    Recommendation:
    Alternative #4 is recommended - go for broke and sing the whole song! Your "True Love" is well worth spending $662,984 on!

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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    OK .... so it is now Christmas Day (in Germany, at least), so ....



    and especially for the ladies of the Roo, here is the first of the Christmas Day hunks ....



    .... to be continued tomorrow ...

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    Senior Member jezebel64's Avatar
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    lmao...........thats a hell of a first lay........lol


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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jezebel64
    lmao...........thats a hell of a first lay........lol
    Agreed !!! and I was so looking forward to that today !!!!

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    Dang......I cant wait for #two_morrows lay!

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    Senior Member sistakat's Avatar
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    i love christmas lol

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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassypants
    Dang......I cant wait for #two_morrows lay!
    Nope .... I'm not going to post it until just after midnight local time .... in another 13 hours or so .... lol

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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sistakat
    i love christmas lol


    You're lucky then, sistakat, because that would be today !!!





    Unfortunately, you have just missed your Christmas present ....





    Oh allright, but just because it is Christmas, here you go ....





    I hope that you have finished putting up all your Christmas decorations .... I am just adding the final touches to mine here ....









    Despite that, did Santa bring you all the presents that you wanted ???





    .... ohhhh, I see you're already wearing one of your presents ....





    I gather Santa left you a message too ....





    It was very kind of you to bathe Santa after that .... but what did you do with his suit ???





    He will have a lot of explaining to do when he gets back home in just his birthday suit, because Mrs. Claus is already eagerly awaiting his return !!!





    Actually, somehow I think all will be well in the Claus family household tonight, because he still has his elves and Rudolph ....








    OK, it is now time for my helpers to start unwrapping MY presents ....







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    Quote Originally Posted by dave289


    You're lucky then, sistakat, because that would be today !!!





    Unfortunately, you have just missed your Christmas present ....





    Oh allright, but just because it is Christmas, here you go ....





    I hope that you have finished putting up all your Christmas decorations .... I am just adding the final touches to mine here ....









    Despite that, did Santa bring you all the presents that you wanted ???





    .... ohhhh, I see you're already wearing one of your presents ....





    I gather Santa left you a message too ....





    It was very kind of you to bathe Santa after that .... but what did you do with his suit ???





    He will have a lot of explaining to do when he gets back home in just his birthday suit, because Mrs. Claus is already eagerly awaiting his return !!!





    Actually, somehow I think all will be well in the Claus family household tonight, because he still has his elves and Rudolph ....








    OK, it is now time for my helpers to start unwrapping MY presents ....








    Santa just can't get a break can he?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sassypants


    Santa just can't get a break can he?
    lol .... Santa gets the brakes OK, but not the breaks ....


    whether it's when the reindeer hit the anchors suddenly ....




    .... or when the floor breaks his fall down the chimney ....




    .... or unexpected help from a passing jet aircraft ....


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    Senior Member dave289's Avatar
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    Default How America Got Its First Christmas Tree

    How America Got Its First Christmas Tree
    by Peter G. Miller



    Christmas trees now sparkle in millions of homes, but did you ever wonder how the tradition began? No doubt there are several stories regarding the start of this custom, and here's one I'd like to pass along.

    "It's now been more than 150 years since Professor Charles Minnigerode decorated Williamsburg's first Christmas tree," says Robert C. Wilburn, president of the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation.



    "A German native, the College of William and Mary professor brought the festive tradition with him to the United States. When Nathaniel Beverley Tucker invited Professor Minnigerode to celebrate the holiday season at the St. George Tucker House, he trimmed a tree with candles and fancy paper decoration as a present for Tucker's children."



    Beverley Randolph Tucker, a descendant, says that "regular sized candles were cut down and fastened on the tree, nuts were gilded, and other ornaments made. Presents were probably not distributed at this time, but there were songs, games, and refreshments." (Tales of the Tuckers, 1942).



    From that humble beginning (and likely similar celebrations with other German immigrants), evolved what is now an American tradition observed in millions of homes.



    As to the St. George Tucker house, it was donated to Williamsburg in 1993 after more than 200 years of family ownership. Used now as a donor hospitality center, the home is one of the most unusual examples of original colonial architecture to be found.



    St. George Tucker was born in Bermuda and came to the colonies to study law at William and Mary under George Wythe, whom he later succeeded. He was a member of the collegiate Flat Hat Society -- a fraternity that evolved into what we today know as Phi Beta Kappa.



    In 1788, Tucker bought three lots on the green in Williamsburg near the governor's palace. This was once the site of the first theater in America (Levingstone's) as well a small house. Tucker then built a home on the property which was expanded, wing after wing, until he decided to try something different: the house was pushed outward with the result that a visitor now finds parlors that have windows looking over the Williamsburg green as well as windows which look into the home's central hallway.



    Such expansion was a necessity because Tucker had nine children and five stepchildren from two wives. While not all lived to adulthood, a family dinner could include Tucker as well as three children who served in the Congress at the same time: John Randolph (a stepson), Beverley Tucker, and Henry St. George Tucker. His brother, Charles Tucker, a physician, was appointed Treasurer of the United States by Jefferson and served from 1801 to 1828.



    "When he was in his early twenties," writes Beverly Randolph Tucker, "he happened to be in Richmond during the meeting of the Assembly at St. John's Church and to have been sitting in the gallery when Patrick Henry made his famous 'Give me Liberty or Give me Death' speech and immediately afterward St. George Tucker wrote what we know of the speech today."



    When the Revolution began, the British seized the Williamsburg magazine to deprive the colonialists of ammunition and powder. Believing that fair is fair, Tucker sailed to Bermuda, "liberated" the British magazine, and brought tons of ammo back to the colonialists.



    After the revolution, Tucker taught at William and Mary, became a judge, and 1803 published an Americanized edition of Blackstone's Commentaries on the Laws of England. This five-volume set is one of the foundations of our legal system and today is still in print.



    Tucker held a number of opinions which are at the core of American law and custom.



    On religion he wrote, "Liberty of conscience in matters of religion consists in the absolute and unrestrained exercise of our religious opinions, and duties, in that mode which our own reason and conviction dictate, without the control or intervention of any human power or authority whatsoever."



    Tucker was also a strong believer in the concept of a free press.



    "Liberty of speech and of discussion in all speculative matters, consists in the absolute and uncontrollable right of speaking, writing, and publishing, our opinions concerning any subject, whether religious, philosophical, or political...."



    Perhaps most remarkably, in a state and a society where the ownership of slaves was equated with wealth and status, Tucker wrote "A Dissertation on Slavery: With a Proposal for the Gradual Abolition of It in the State of Virginia."



    "Whilst America hath been the land of promise to Europeans," he wrote in 1796, more than 60 years before the Civil War, "it hath been the vale of death to millions of the wretched sons of Africa. The genial light of liberty, which hath shone with unrivalled lustre on the former, hath yielded no comfort to the latter...."



    Tucker died in 1828, and it was his son, Nathaniel Beverley Tucker, also a judge and professor of law at William and Mary, who hosted the famous tree in 1842.

    No doubt if Mr. Tucker were with us today he would extend to one and all the very best wishes for this holiday season and the coming New Year.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jezebel64
    lmao...........thats a hell of a first lay........lol
    Tee-hee.. well said, Jez.. ...



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