Marriage: What if its a msitake you married the one you did?

[ogp]

My marraige of 2years now feel to me as a terrible mistake what do i do? I dont want it to crumble?

[squirt]

if you don't want it to crumble, then it must not be a mistake, but it takes 2 to make a marriage work

[Goodgrief]

Short on details here.
Like: how long did you know each other before you wed?
Why does it feel that way?
Do you love him/does he love you?
Are both of you making concessions to each other?
How old are you?
Are times tough financially?
Can you discuss things without shouting? (Both of you)
Would you be willing to get counselling?

[ogp]

We knew ourselves a short while we had a long distance relationship
Am 36, she is 31
We were recently robbed by armed men.
Very hard to discuss most time have to keep my mouth shut but of course i blow my lid atimes...she believes she knows evertthing and she cant be talked to. Trying talking to her and she starts squeezing her face and bending her head like one who is hard of hearing but she is not.
She wants to tell me how to do everything like how to talk, she interrupts when am talking with someone putting words in my mouth, how to eat how to... everything.
Sex used to be great but its been quite a while since i had a boner I would love to have counselling.

[Goodgrief]

It doesn't sound too promising, but I definitely think that counselling is in order.
If she cares about you and your marriage, she'll agree to go with you. If she doesnt, well...

[Patrish]

Originally Posted by ogp

My marraige of 2years now feel to me as a terrible mistake what do i do? I dont want it to crumble?

Well, it seems that you do care or you wouldnt want it to not crumble.

Basically i suggest if you are into the Lord - to ask Him to be between you.
Also the first few years are very difficult in adjusting to another person.

Its normal to feel apprehensive the first years. Because you now have someone else to think about and what you may think is your freedom is gone.

But its not. Its just different than before.

When she starts acting like she cant hear, then stop talking. Avoid discussing anything... and let her have at it ...

And above all - Pray alot.

Believe it or not, marriage is not between two ppl, its a covenant between 2 ppl with God.
We cant do this alone, so inviting the only One Who can and will fix things goes a very long way.

No marriage is perfect - i dont care who you are.
But it can be improved.

Dont give in and dont get angry. Just be at peace with yourself, and eventually she will be curious how you can be so calm and eventually she may want your input because you avoid giving it because she has to modify her responses to you.

Best wishes.

[Marky_D_Sahdd]

Originally Posted by Patrish

Well, it seems that you do care or you wouldnt want it to not crumble.

Basically i suggest if you are into the Lord - to ask Him to be between you.
Also the first few years are very difficult in adjusting to another person.

Its normal to feel apprehensive the first years. Because you now have someone else to think about and what you may think is your freedom is gone.

But its not. Its just different than before.

When she starts acting like she cant hear, then stop talking. Avoid discussing anything... and let her have at it ...

And above all - Pray alot.

Believe it or not, marriage is not between two ppl, its a covenant between 2 ppl with God.
We cant do this alone, so inviting the only One Who can and will fix things goes a very long way.

No marriage is perfect - i dont care who you are.
But it can be improved.

Dont give in and dont get angry. Just be at peace with yourself, and eventually she will be curious how you can be so calm and eventually she may want your input because you avoid giving it because she has to modify her responses to you.

Best wishes.

Great advice, Patrish. I couldn't add a word.