Iíve brought this up before but Iíll repeat it here because of an incident that happened the other night. My wife and I had gone up stairs to bring in the New Year together leaving my youngest son downstairs in the den with his girlfriend of six months. As the ball dropped my Wife and I hugged, kissed, wished each other a Happy New year and afterward headed back down stairs to wish my son and his girl a happy New Year as well. As we walked into the den I observed my son all sprawled out on the couch, no longer wearing his jeans but now was down to just his gym shorts and shirt. His girlfriend upon seeing us quickly sat up, now looking all disheveled smiled sheepishly at my wife and me and wished us a Happy New Year. We were supposed to take her home but I guess they didnít expect us down so soon after mid-night. They both looked guilty as hell, yet innocent in their young years. I maybe should have said something but was at a loss for words at the moment. Happy New Year I said back to her.
I now take you back to another to another time earlier in the year during the spring. I was at one of my sonís baseball games when I overheard a couple ladies gossiping behind me. My ears quickly perked up because the young lady they were talking about was a friend of my Wife and me. In truth, we had met her due to the fact her brother for several years played on the same baseball team as my son. My wife, who years ago, back in high school, was a cheerleader had seen her practicing doing back flips and other cheerleader stuff that I know nothing of and decided to go over to help her. That was how we got to know this young lady, by my wife helping her with cheerleader moves. At every one of my sonís games she would come over and my wife would work with her. To me and my wife she was a nice girl, very pleasant and respectful. We liked her. Anyway when I heard these women mention her name I naturally listened in. What I overheard shocked me a bit, it seems this young girl, all of 15 years old, was now pregnant and had been dismissed from the cheerleading squad because of this fact. Itís at times like these that my mouth often moves before my brain can tell it to stop because I quickly turned around to them saying. ďHuh? Had she not signed the virginity clause in the high school cheerleader contract? I mean common on everybody knows that all of the cheerleaders are virgins arenít they?Ē I was immediately confronted with some extraordinarily ugly looks. It was then I realized, oops these are other cheerleaderís mothers, I probably should have kept quiet. So I quickly went into defensive mode and explained that obviously this young lady had made a mistake, one that will now cost her much of her teen years. It canít be easy being 15 and a single mom. And now her life is going to be made even worse by them taking away one other thing that had brought joy to this young lady, cheerleading. I told them I just didnít think it was right. I felt as long as her doctor thought it was ok for her physically to do it, why couldnít she cheerlead? At this point all of the womenís backs turned to me and it was obvious my opinion no longer mattered. I evidently didnít understand the sanctity of being a cheerleader. No offense but if they think every cheerleader a live is a virgin and pure as snow then they are sadly mistaken. Letís be real here.
Now back to today, my son is currently 15. He has had numerous girlfriends and is currently ďIN-LOVEĒ with this young lady I mentioned earlier, whom my wife and I both like very much by the way. I remember back to when I was 15, I know for a fact, I was not a virgin at that age. I developed the knowledge that there are certain things a young lady can do for a 15 year old boy that are quite enjoyable at a very early age. I also know now, that I was at the time incredibly lucky. I NEVER wore a condom. Never even thought about it. When my hormones kicked in my brain shut off. The thought that the girl might get pregnant seemed so terribly remote to me that it was a chance then that I was willing to take. I canít imagine my son as a father. Heís way too young and unprepared. And like this young lady once did, he has a promising life ahead of him and so does this young girl that heís dating, a life that would be wrecked if he were to get this girl pregnant, of that Iím quite sure. Weíve had our chat. I spoke with him about treating girls with respect and the best course of action to take is abstinence. Iíve told him of my concerns for his future in this matter. But I can also remember back to when I was his age and how often temptation got the better of me. So now I wonderÖwhere and how does a 15 year old boy get condoms? He canít go get them himself. He doesnít drive, again heís only 15, his mother and I take him everywhere he goes. And while Iíd prefer he ask me if he needed them, I really canít see him saying, ďHey Dad can you run me down to the drug store, Iím out of condoms?Ē He knows then heíll get a lecture from me. So odds are he wonít. I also know heíd never ask his mother. I can just imagine how that conversation would go. I read somewhere that a school was making condoms available to students through their counselors. My first reaction was like several of the parents of that school district, one of shock and thinking that the school was promoting sex. But remembering about that poor young girl, Iím not so sure itís a bad idea. Again, I ask, where does a 15 year old boy get condoms or a girl birth control for that matter? I for sure hope whole heartedly that abstinence is the route my son chooses, but I also know and remember those days when my hormones clicked in and the words, ďCome on baby just this one time, no one will know and thereís nothing to worry about.Ē Came from my lips. So Iím curious, whatís your take on this? Should schools provide condoms? Should parents give their children birth control? At what age? Is this sending the wrong message to our kids? All parents at some point talk to their children about this and Iím sure promoting abstinence but is that reality? When the hormones kick in, will they remember and follow our advice? Hell he often doesnít listen to anything else I advise him about, can I expect him to listen to this? Looking back now when I was his age I was lucky as hell, I donít want my sonís future to depend on luck. Whatís your take on this?