need help fast this is really depressing

**dru187** · 09-21-2005, 02:21 AM

I have been dating this gurl for a little over a year now,and she means everything to me.But,i have the urges to mess with other gurls.When i see other gurls i wish i was single and its really effecting our relationship.i don't hide anything from her so i told her about it and she is telling me i need to find out if i want to be with her or someone else.its like i don't wanna lose her but wanna mess around with other gurls.I would hate to lose her over a one night stand.

any advice?

**AussieDigger** · 09-21-2005, 03:25 AM

Dont cheat on her, if you cant be happy with the one partner you are in a lot of trouble. If you feel you cant be loyal leave her.

**jungleboy** · 09-21-2005, 05:42 AM

No lying, no cheating. I am glad to hear you told her the truth.

It is normal to want other people. How does she feel? What would you think if she wanted some other dude?

Maybe you and her should be friends and not be too committed right now.

Have you thought of swinging??? In some cultures you can have multiple wife's.

Above all do not hurt her or yourself emotionally. Life is short enjoy.

**CanadianBabe** · 09-21-2005, 08:39 AM

Well...I wil tell you, if you wanna mess around other girls. Then maybe this girl doesn't really mean all that much to you. If a guy committs himself to one girl, then it should be with her, and her only. You have got to get your priorities straight, and find out what is really important in your life. I don't understand how a man can love more then one woman. I don't think...men get the real meaning of what love is, and they think they need to share it with every woman that happens to walk his way. Because, if that was me... I would say, either you choose me or these other women. If he chooses the other women, then I would be gone. But, in time..if you feel you are thinking about her constantly, and your not interested in having sex with other women, then there's a good chance that she is the one. I know a guy will look, and maybe flirt.....but, as long as it doesn't go any further then that. You have to figure out what you want first, and absolutly make sure it's what you want...before you go committing anything to this girl. A relationship should be build on TRUST and not lies, and cheating. In the end...you will wind up losing her, if you don't smarten up, and straighten yourself out. If you have these urges to mess around with other women, then sex is the only thing on your mind. You say you love this girl, and I don't think you really do. You may think you do, because it's what she wants to hear. So, don't go using lines on her, and saying it's the truth...when it isn't.

**dru187** · 09-21-2005, 05:26 PM

Well we have a good talk last night and we both know that it is in a mans nature to have those feelings,but its when u react on them is when it goes bad.I told her i'm going to learn to control my thoughts when i see other gurls.So far it has been working and i'm glad we didn't break up.Thanx for all the help guys it really did help
~1~

**rockroller1** · 09-21-2005, 08:48 PM

Hey, Dru, your letters are 3 hours apart. What could have possibly accomplished in 3 hours? Canadian Babe, slap this guy for me, will you? You laid it all out for him nice and clear. I couldn't have said it better.

**CanadianBabe** · 09-21-2005, 09:51 PM

I'm sorry..but, don't give me that crap that it's in a man's nature to have those feelings. I have heard it all before, and it's just an excuse. Just because you happen to be a man...does not give you the right to mess around other women. Men tend to think that because their signifacant other is not around, they think it's alright for them to go out, and play. It still does not make it right, as it's called cheating. Look, buddy...either you love her, or you don't. If you want a future with this girl, you are gonna have to make it crystal clear to her, and show her how much you love her. Do whatever it takes to win her love, as she deserves better then that. Stand up, and be a man, and proof yourself to her.

**dru187** · 09-22-2005, 12:34 AM

i did not say its in a mans nature to do stuff with gurls i said its in a mans nature to have thoughts of other woman even with a mate.And don't say that u know anything about that unless u are a man urself.

**AuroraAngel** · 09-22-2005, 04:59 AM

Originally Posted by dru187

i did not say its in a mans nature to do stuff with gurls i said its in a mans nature to have thoughts of other woman even with a mate.And don't say that u know anything about that unless u are a man urself.

I wonder how many men would agree with you? I'm intrigued. You're saying that all men have thoughts of other women all the time? eww I'm never getting involved with another man again. What do you expect from all these other women you're thinking about? Fantastic sex?

**dru187** · 09-22-2005, 05:56 AM

i can probobly say over 50 % of men think naughty thoughts when they look at beautiful gurls.the other half are either gay or confused or are really whipped

**CanadianBabe** · 09-22-2005, 06:41 AM

Oh! so, you think you can speak for other men. What makes you think that you are an expert on other men, and thier thoughts? You guys think...just because your a man, it gives you the right to do anything of a sexual nature with another woman. Hmm.....maybe, the guy I'm involved with is gay, and that could be why he doesn't want to give me the time of day. If he doesn't want to come, and see me that's fine by me. There are more fish in the sea...that I could have. I'm just so sick, and tired of his lies, and games.

**AuroraAngel** · 09-22-2005, 07:08 AM

Originally Posted by dru187

i can probobly say over 50 % of men think naughty thoughts when they look at beautiful gurls.the other half are either gay or confused or are really whipped

I like your honesty, Dru. You still didn't answer my question though.. What do you men expect to be different about all these women you think naughty thoughts about?

**AuroraAngel** · 09-22-2005, 07:09 AM

Originally Posted by CanadianBabe

Oh! so, you think you can speak for other men. What makes you think that you are an expert on other men, and thier thoughts? You guys think...just because your a man, it gives you the right to do anything of a sexual nature with another woman. Hmm.....maybe, the guy I'm involved with is gay, and that could be why he doesn't want to give me the time of day. If he doesn't want to come, and see me that's fine by me. There are more fish in the sea...that I could have. I'm just so sick, and tired of his lies, and games.

You sound as though you've been burnt bad. You shouldn't take it out on Dru though.

**jungleboy** · 09-22-2005, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by CanadianBabe

I'm sorry..but, don't give me that crap that it's in a man's nature to have those feelings. I have heard it all before, and it's just an excuse. Just because you happen to be a man...does not give you the right to mess around other women. Men tend to think that because their signifacant other is not around, they think it's alright for them to go out, and play. It still does not make it right, as it's called cheating. Look, buddy...either you love her, or you don't. If you want a future with this girl, you are gonna have to make it crystal clear to her, and show her how much you love her. Do whatever it takes to win her love, as she deserves better then that. Stand up, and be a man, and proof yourself to her.

I know dru asked the question, but you need the help. Do not fall in love with body, (male or female) one side will cheat as fast as the other. I know. Second having sex or loving more than person at one time is sooo possible and done all the time. Just check google or a soupy.

It is only cheating when deception is involved. If a certain life style is acceptable to a couple or a triple it is their business. You and your mate(s) have to decide what is right for you. But again, I agree..."no lying no cheating and no sneaking around". Do whatever you do with the love and blessings of your mate/partner. Or get the f*ck out. Why be with somebody to make them and/or yourself unhappy?????????

NOTE FACT:
GIRLS SO CHEAT ON THEIR BOYFRIENDS AND HUSBANDS. I KNOW. BEEN THERE DONE THAT

Dru187, alot of girls think like that. But there are lots that do not. Find one that is a fit for you ! ! !

I hope you find your answers. It is nice and wonderful to have a super special person in your life. It is possible and still want sex. Life is tough.

AuroraAngel wrote
I like your honesty, Dru. You still didn't answer my question though.. What do you men expect to be different about all these women you think naughty thoughts about?

EACH ONE IS DIFFERENT. And even the one's that are similar, each one comes with a different driver....

It is different, not necessarily better.

Ok, I too will try and be honest and answer the question of why. I will try be as gender netural as possible. This is a not male thing. Maybe in the past women had to and did hide things better. But 2005 is wild, everybody is out there. So the answers I will give are social and not gender.

The why's of why they do it.

1. Not getting enough at home. Mate problems

2. Just very horny. I even know some person's will finish one session and stop to get more on the way home.

3. Self esteem - boosts their confidence.

4. Not always so mush the sex as the advanture to meeting someone new.

5. Checking their options for a happier life.

**Donjon** · 09-22-2005, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by dru187

i can probobly say over 50 % of men think naughty thoughts when they look at beautiful gurls.the other half are either gay or confused or are really whipped

I will agree although I would say 90% of all men and the rest is gay or F56Ked up in some way. Men are in to sex and love beautiful woman weather they commited or not. Fact

**dru187** · 09-22-2005, 12:31 PM

I didn't say men think they can do watever they want with any gurl when they are in a relationship,I was trying to say men THINK about other gurls and what they COULD do lol.AuroraAngel,men want to find out whats different bout them lol,and that every gurl is different like jungleboy mentioned.

**caramell** · 09-22-2005, 02:25 PM

it isnt about whether or not you want to cheat on her..buts it if you actually have or not. Of course you are going to feel the urge im sure everyone does. but just as long as you dont act on it, you are fine.

**AuroraAngel** · 09-22-2005, 02:54 PM

Gods, I think honest men are the sexiest! Thank you, Gentlemen for answering me.

**rockroller1** · 09-22-2005, 02:56 PM

Okay, Dru, it's time to put on the gloves

I don't see how you can come on this thread and say 50% of the male population thinks naughty (who uses naughty, anymore?). I'll admit there is a percentage, but please, even 50% is too much due to the fact that the other half are gay or whatever. Now I'll admit that I look at other woman and my girl knows that, but I don't think anything sexual about them and my girl knows that, too. I don't know what planet you're from, but you better get your head examined because whether you know it or not, you are mentally cheating on your girl and that's almost the same as committing the actual crime. If you love your girl, you better clear your head. Later.

**dru187** · 09-22-2005, 04:52 PM

aiight mayne gloves on.why do u look at other gurls?wat goes thru ur mind when u see another beautiful gurl?and if u read the posts another REAL man agreed with me.i can garuntee over 50% look at other gurls and think things like,damn thats a nice ass or man shes got nice titties.We don't say or act on um,we might want to but we know not to.say think before posting./

please no beefs I come here for friendly advice and to help others,i don't need to argue with no one
~1~