All of us veterans appreciate that post Jhorse. I served with the 101st Airborne in Vietnam and lost a foot to a landmine, but the worst that happened was some good friends did not come home. May they rest in peace.
No, you get wind burns for you are falling at 120 MPH. In the army your chute deploys immediately after jumping for your D ring that is attached to the ripcord is hooked to a wire. I have been skinny dipping though in my younger days. :D
If they are that ugly just do 'em doggystyle. Tthat way you don't have to look at their face. Pull their long hair back and use it like reigns on a horse. Whip them across the behind a couple of times. YEEEEEEEHHHIIIIII!!!!! RIDE 'EM COWBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!