To get us through the day....

[TakinMyLyfeBack]

Originally Posted by squirt

ok! once essex gets the info, he'll make the change and the msyross log-in will NOT work, you'll have to log in with TakinMyLyfeBack and the old password ...

Thank you so much....Hes taking his shit now..

[TakinMyLyfeBack]

Well, Its three in the morning, almost 4, and I havent slept a wink, been drunk as hell, cryed acted a fool, but I accomplished what I wanted.....He finally packed his shit and got out..still has some stuff to come get tomorrow while Im at work, but at least I wont have to be here while hes doing it.
It hurts and I have cried all I can cry, its going to be along hard rocky road for me and my kids until tax time....I know, I said I was going to wait, but I just could not take another minute, another day of his arrogant ass. Its like he is better than anyone else, and him and his mother and his kids were worth more than me and mine....I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders.....even though IM still hurt and sad, I know that this feeling is going to go away sooner than expected...It took a long talk with Donald, then a long talk with my mother to push me to this point...I am just sooo sick and tired of being treated like nothing but a screw...and that is how he acted..then when he actually brought me home a nice little gift....called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease!!! That was the breaking point!!! Then you try to push it all off on me...Yeah, I may have wanted to run to someone else, I may have been talking to someone else, but thats ALL IT WAS>>>>>>>>>!!!!! But you actually did the do..and forgot to protect yourself on top of that..now, not only are you sick, so am I!!!! And PID...you dont just get rid of it like that...you have to deal with it for the rest of your life....so I was supposed to just sit here and keep looking at you and keep adoring you the way I did before??? NOT!!!!
It will be hard for me and for my kids...but Please!!! Its nothing I have never had to deal with before...I will find a way...

I may be having to give up my computer if I cant find a way to make a payment before monday.......but if I do, dont you all worry, I will get me a brand new one come tax time and wont have to make payments...it will be mine....Im going to try not to have to give it up..but you know how that goes.......UGH!!!! Well, I gotta be at work in just 2 hours...but I just wanted you both to know that I finally got logged in ...and that I am ok.......Gonna have to walk to work, but it will be fine...I will get my shit strait like I always have regardless of what Darrell Ross and his momma think!!!

[squirt]

at least you're not in limbo anymore! lol I love you

[TakinMyLyfeBack]

What happened with me and D...I just got drunk got pissed at him and put him out...there was alot of if anyone leaves it will be you yadda yadda yadda........He called his momma over here and she talked shit..and in the end he finally left...but he slept at the carwash with all his shit in his car...well I walked to work...was crying all night all day yadda yadda, but just knew it was going to be better in the long run for me and my kids...

Then, the kids kept calling me that he had gone to the house to check on him ...blah blah blah.....my mom called and tonio told her that Darrell was there packing the rest of his stuff...which was a lie, cause he didnt take anything else.....well, he texts me later that he talked to the landlord and that the landlord told him that since he was the one who gave him the rent every month the house was his and that he didnt have to go anywhere...WTF!!! Well, I text him back and told him that I was going anywhere..and he told me I had no choice in the matter...so I called the landlord thinking I was going to call him on his bluff..and the landlord says yes, thats what I told him.......cause he told me that you could not afford to pay the rent...Excuse me, and you just took his word for it, when the lease is in my damn name...thats just sorry...so I told the landlord that he would have to evict both of us if that was the case, because the rent has just been paid, were not behind and you have no right to get in the middle of our marital problems...well, so, my dad told me to tell Darrell that his lawyer said that he was legally obligated to me and my kids because we have been together 5 years and the law says after 6 months your common law married...that he would have to take me to court for the house, and that no judge would throw a woman and two kids out on the street........so, then he says.......Ok.....but I guess we are both going to stay untill someone leaves...yadda yadda dd

So my daughter calls me later on and tells me that daddy said that if I wanted to work it out, to just talk to him...I said, yeah right, talk to him....I ve never been able to talk to him, that was the biggest problem...
so we were texting each other all day, fussing and talking ...and he was mad cause I called him a nigger...well, dont you remember calling me filthy white trailer trash??? Hahahahaha the things we say to hurt someone...well, I texted him last night and asked him if he would bring in a blunt on his way so that we could both just relax and get the rest we really needed.........and he says....Dont know if ima stay there.....so....ok...thats your decision, better for me...but can you bring me the blunt and I will give you the money for it so I can get some sleep at least.......so, then right when he gets off at ten...he texts me and says....DO YOU MIND IF I PLAY MY GAME ON YOUR TV? Hahahahahahaaaaaaa!!! Well, I said, sure...we need to talk anyways..and at least get some closure and say goodbye the right way if we cant make it work.

Well, he comes in and hooks up his game....and I sat down and said...do you want to talk to me, but talk TO me...or do you not feel like talking about it...??? I half ass expected him to say, he didnt feel like it, or Im not trying to hear it...or act like he always does..........but he said...what you trying to talk about....so I asked him......if you say you dont have a girlfriend..............***cause he swears on his nephew grave that just passed **** then, where are you going and staying out all night...???? and he starts talking...finally, he said he just hangs out down the road at his friends house because he cant come home and relax....theres always some kind of argument...some kind of bs...the house is always a mess...yadda yadda....well, yes, my kids are messy!@!!! they dont pick up after themselves....I know this...I have bitched and complained about it myself...BUT..THAT IS NO REASON TO JUST GIVE UP ON SUCH A LONG TIME THAT WE HAVE...THAT IS NO REASON TO TREAT ME LIKE SHIT...THAT IS NO REASON TO SHUT ME COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM A BURDEN TO YOU!!!!!

Well, I had already been cleaning house all day yesterday.......ALL DAY.....I cleaned nooks and crannys that I didnt even know existed in this damn house!!!! We went outside to smoke the blunt...and I asked him....Darrell...do you really just want to walk away from all that we have been through together???? Do you really want me and my kids out of your life?? Because if you do, I will go back to my mommas I dont want to, but I will until tax time...........OMG!!! I was shaking...I just knew that he was going to say yes.....

"NOT REALLY......" WAS ALL HE COULD SAY, then he came in the house went to the bathroom, and I could hear him crying....so I was in the kitchen when he came out...and I was crying to...I went to hug him, told him that I didnt mean it and that I was sorry...but I said...you dont know me very well at all do you?? He said what do you mean....and I said....you should have known better lastnight than to just leave like that...you should have known that I was drunk and you should have put me in the shower and to bed...then talked to me about it in the morning.......but no, you took what I said, and ran with it...he said...BUT YOU HAVE NEVER JUST TOLD ME LIKE THAT WITH THAT COLD LOOK IN YOUR EYES BEFORE....

All I could say was.....some times people are together for so long that they forget to think before they speak, and they forget about the good times, and we take for granted that the other is happy....and that is what has happened to us...yes, I let the house go for a long time and it got out of control....but it was because I am sooo unhappy and depressed and that is the reason..but what is your reason for shutting me out...

Well, we are trying to work it out.....and hopefully come tax time I dont still have my mind set to leave..but if no changes are made on his part and only on mine...then I know what I have to do and will seal the deal..but I dont want it to get to that point...

But as for the name change...it will stay this way..cause one way or another this mad bitch is TakinMyLyfeBack!!!!!!

[TakinMyLyfeBack]

Got the computer paid today for another month...sending my washer back cause my mom and dad are giving me one..that way I dont have to make that extra payment and I can keep my pc and get it the rest of the way paid off..only have a few months left to go......Thank God....
But quiet honestly, IM starting to not be so thrilled about the whole HP mini deal.....its just always something wrong with it, always having to call HP support to help me fix the problem...I never had this many problems with a desktop...UGH!!!

But anyways....
Life so far has been good...still a little itsy around each other, but we will see how it all goes until taxtime...Im hoping I dont have to make any more drastic decisions...but we will see...

[squirt]

♪♪ please help me to take one day at a time ♪♪

[TakinMyLyfeBack]

Well, I decided not to trade the laptop in...made my payment today..and Im caught up now..so I am going to go and try to get some of these tags picked up......I feel so bad having slacked off....but Im back...wont be as much, cause I do have alot to do here lately, but I love you all.

[squirt]

Love you too!

[TakinMyLyfeBack]

Im catching hell at work....and I sort of understand where they are coming from, but they are not understanding where Im coming from either......at any rate...IF things dont change...I cant do anything until tax time...it was either stay here with him, or my kids and I on the street....**Which he says he would not have done...just needed a way back in and I wasnt trying to hear it...** anyways.......

Im sick of work, tired, havent had much sleep this past 4 days..but Im hoping I can go home, straighten up the house a little, and take me a good nap...I doubt it..but we will see..

[squirt]

*crosses fingers and toes!!!* lol