Results 1 to 5 of 5
Like Tree10Likes
  • 3 Post By likeaneagle
  • 3 Post By kipper
  • 2 Post By Ms.Diablo50
  • 1 Post By squirt
  • 1 Post By stevent222

Thread: adopt a terrorist

  1. #1
    Senior Member likeaneagle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Rep Power

    Default adopt a terrorist

    A Canadian female libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter. She received back the following reply:

    National Defense Headquarters
    M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT
    101 Colonel By Drive
    Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2

    Dear Concerned Citizen,

    Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

    Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

    In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those citizens' personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.

    Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.

    Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling, however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.

    Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbours or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to life in our country.

    Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.

    You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.

    You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counsellor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.

    Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. Good luck and God bless you.

    Gordon O'Connor
    Minister of National Defense

    BRILLIANT. Gotta hand it to the Canadians.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator kipper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    In the Roo mostly
    Rep Power

    Default Re: adopt a terrorist

    Just a shame it's a load of bollocks...CLICK
    KingHomie, squirt and stevent222 like this.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ms.Diablo50's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Illinois, Midwest
    Rep Power

    Default Re: adopt a terrorist

    Come on,,,, Nobody really believed this did they??? lol

    squirt and stevent222 like this.

  4. #4
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Dallas, TX
    Rep Power

    Default Re: adopt a terrorist

    you know there was one lol
    stevent222 likes this.

    If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy
    not only we, but everyone will profit from it ♥

  5. #5
    Jokeroo Immortal stevent222's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Riverside, CA
    Rep Power

    Default Re: adopt a terrorist

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms.Diablo50 View Post
    Come on,,,, Nobody really believed this did they??? lol

    Oh CRAP! you mean its not!? I wanted to take 100 at a time into my house.
    Thats only cause my .22cal's come in a box of onehundred and I've got a backhoe.
    squirt likes this.


Similar Threads

  1. adopt a terrorist
    By likeaneagle in forum Funny Jokes
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-12-2013, 07:55 AM
  2. ..then adopt a dog
    By mazbut in forum Funny Jokes
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-06-2009, 04:29 PM
  3. Adopt a pet..............
    By PENNMTNS in forum Funny Pictures [Adults Only]
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-20-2008, 10:02 AM
  4. Adopt a Cat??
    By smileyluvzu in forum Funny Pictures [Adults Only]
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-11-2006, 01:48 AM
  5. Adopt An Alien
    By purpleroscoedog in forum The Society
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-28-2005, 03:33 AM


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Funny videos, funny pictures and free online games is the nature and meaning of Jokeroo. With countless users around the world uploading, they are slowling building a wealth of great content. Did I mention that they are earning from that content? If you have any funny videos, pictures or fun games, upload it to Jokeroo and watch your balance grow!

© 2010 JMG - Jolted Media Group Ltd. All Rights Reserved.