10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines

handymanmike92683

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#1
10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines

Your eyes meet across a crowded room... the atmosphere is charged with desire... you approach, cool and composed... and knock 'em dead with a line like...

1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

2. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

3. You have to tell me your name, because last night in my dreams, I could only call you 'baby'...

4. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock...

5. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

6. At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh? Can I help?"

7. Hi I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples...

8. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you...

9. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you...

10. Have you ever played naked leap frog?

 
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#3
hee hee hee, here go a few of my favorites
i really have to add to this....
1. (in a candystore) i had to come over here...i have a weakness for sweet things,
2. (in a flowershop) what say we make like the trees and leaf.....
3. (after a health seminar)... Drop Dead Gorgeous...i know CPR!
 

handymanmike92683

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#4
YEP I WARNED YA
LOL
I WOULDNT PASS EM TO FAR
DONT THINK THEY'LL BE GETTING LUCKY
ANYTIME SOON
T/Y


choirboy1823 said:
OMG..Those are bad...Got to pass this post along..great post mike.
 

handymanmike92683

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#5
THANX FOR THE ADDS
Shkeeptareh
I DONT THINK I'LL BE USING ANY OF THESE
LOL

Shkeeptareh said:
hee hee hee, here go a few of my favorites
i really have to add to this....
1. (in a candystore) i had to come over here...i have a weakness for sweet things,
2. (in a flowershop) what say we make like the trees and leaf.....
3. (after a health seminar)... Drop Dead Gorgeous...i know CPR!
 

handymanmike92683

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#6
Works in downtown Irish-style pub


1 “Are you wearing any underwear?”

2 “You look tired. Do you want a massage?”

3 “I know your father is a thief, because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.”

4 “Hi, sex.”

5 Me: “Can I get you anything?”
Him: [looking at my chest] “Yeah, I’d like some of that!”

6 “How many guys hit on you a night? Does it ever work?”

7 “You took my breath away. Can I have it back?”

8 “Hey, sweetheart! Breakfast’s on me.”

9 “Hey, babe, I want to sit in your section.”

10 “Mind if I get fresh?”
 

handymanmike92683

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#7
Works in a very upscale midtown
Asian-themed bar-restaurant

1“Hey, we have something in common: I’m rich and you’re beautiful.”

2 “Do you have any black in you? ’Cause your booty is slammin’!”

3 “You have such good posture. Are you a dancer?”

4 “This tastes almost as good as you look.”

5 “My friend had a really bad day. If you do something to make it up to him, I’ll make it worth your while.”

6 “Hey, geisha girl, fetch your master another martini.”

7 “Do you wash your clothes with Windex? ’Cause I can see myself in your pants.”

8 “Does your boyfriend tell you how beautiful you are very day? ’Cause if he doesn’t, I will.”

9 “Are you on the menu?”

10 “Can I charge the tab to my room? I don’t have a room yet, but if you join me, I’ll get one.”
 

handymanmike92683

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#8

5 Counterproductive Pick-Up Lines


1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.

2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?

3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.

4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?

5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

 

Anna

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#9
I think I mite try....The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you...there is something to blame afterwards..lmbo-
 

handymanmike92683

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#10
AND WHAT MIGHT THERE BE
TO BLAME AFTERWARDS
HUN?


anna_hun said:
I think I mite try....The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you...there is something to blame afterwards..lmbo-
 

Geoff_the_Beard

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#11
The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

I've lost my telephone number. Can I have yours?

What do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

I'm a lawyer. Trust me.

Is this seat empty? - Yes and this will be too if you sit down.


I have lots more - I will try and post some of them tomorrow
 

handymanmike92683

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#12
THOSE ARE GOOD /BAD ONES TOO
LOL
THANX FOR YOUR ADD
LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE


Geoff_the_Beard said:
The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

I've lost my telephone number. Can I have yours?

What do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

I'm a lawyer. Trust me.

Is this seat empty? - Yes and this will be too if you sit down.


I have lots more - I will try and post some of them tomorrow
 
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#13
Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of
concerned...

I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few
drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because
I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and
we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go
out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a
lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual
tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly
incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we
move in together for a while, then a few months later get
married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger
house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we
have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks
start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids,
but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time
for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of
yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-
confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification.
You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me
out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy
and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the
children.

So, for God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's
just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
_________________________________________________
 
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#14
Medieval Pick-Up Lines!


1 - Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely
knight could scabbard his sword, would you?

2 - Been there, slain that.

3 - Your hovel or mine?

4 - Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword
in action?

5 - You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?



6 - I like the cut of your jib.

7 - If I were that horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the
saddle.

8 - Wizard : You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed.

9 - Thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my pole arm
whilst I attempt to light thy fire?

10 - Dost thou practice safe hex?



11 - Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great
on my sleeping chambers floor.

12 - I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you
like to see my breaststroke?

13 - Wench : What's that sound?
Knight : That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers
expanding.

14 - Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!

15 - You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a
vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England
depends on it!!



16 - Ever see a passion play? Would you like to?

17 - Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.

18 - How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied
you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled
with lust..er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but
tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.

19 - I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the
stocks and... er... PUNISH me, now won't you?

20 - C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a
day keep the black plague away.



21 - I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!

22 - Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your
clothes disappear?

23 - I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have
sex with frogs?

24 - My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help
you out of it.

25 - I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?



26 - You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like
Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let
down.

27 -I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady.

28 - Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in
the land.

29 - Wanna polish my pike?

30 - Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements
with my grappling hook!



31 - My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice?
For I may surely see myself within their folds.

32 - Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic
within.

33 - I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my
heart.

34 - Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your
drawbridge and let me cross.

35 - You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been
ravaged and plundered by now.



36 - What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?

37 - You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.

38 - They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.

39 - My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.

40 - When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the
only thing they stretched.
 

handymanmike92683

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#15
LMAO
THAT IS SO TRUE IN MANY CASE
CUT TO THE CHASE
LOL
GOOD ONE JMS
THANX



jms_mlr said:
Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of
concerned...

I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few
drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because
I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and
we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go
out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a
lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual
tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly
incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we
move in together for a while, then a few months later get
married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger
house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we
have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks
start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids,
but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time
for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of
yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-
confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification.
You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me
out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy
and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the
children.

So, for God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's
just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
_________________________________________________
 

handymanmike92683

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#16
LMAO
Medieval Pick-Up Lines!
HOW FUNNY
THESE ARE GREAT !
THANX JMS

jms_mlr said:
Medieval Pick-Up Lines!


1 - Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely
knight could scabbard his sword, would you?

2 - Been there, slain that.

3 - Your hovel or mine?

4 - Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword
in action?

5 - You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?



6 - I like the cut of your jib.

7 - If I were that horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the
saddle.

8 - Wizard : You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed.

9 - Thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my pole arm
whilst I attempt to light thy fire?

10 - Dost thou practice safe hex?



11 - Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great
on my sleeping chambers floor.

12 - I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you
like to see my breaststroke?

13 - Wench : What's that sound?
Knight : That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers
expanding.

14 - Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!

15 - You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a
vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England
depends on it!!



16 - Ever see a passion play? Would you like to?

17 - Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.

18 - How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied
you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled
with lust..er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but
tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.

19 - I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the
stocks and... er... PUNISH me, now won't you?

20 - C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a
day keep the black plague away.



21 - I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!

22 - Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your
clothes disappear?

23 - I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have
sex with frogs?

24 - My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help
you out of it.

25 - I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?



26 - You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like
Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let
down.

27 -I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady.

28 - Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in
the land.

29 - Wanna polish my pike?

30 - Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements
with my grappling hook!



31 - My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice?
For I may surely see myself within their folds.

32 - Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic
within.

33 - I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my
heart.

34 - Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your
drawbridge and let me cross.

35 - You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been
ravaged and plundered by now.



36 - What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?

37 - You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.

38 - They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.

39 - My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.

40 - When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the
only thing they stretched.
 

dads540

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#18
handymanmike92683 said:
10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines

Your eyes meet across a crowded room... the atmosphere is charged with desire... you approach, cool and composed... and knock 'em dead with a line like...

1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

2. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

3. You have to tell me your name, because last night in my dreams, I could only call you 'baby'...

4. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock...

5. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

6. At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh? Can I help?"

7. Hi I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples...

8. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you...

9. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you...

10. Have you ever played naked leap frog?

hehe,they really are bad!! good post!!!