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Thread: Todays Blonde Joke......

  1. #61
    Senior Member tasman's Avatar
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    A blond is following a truck through town, they stop at a traffic light, she gets out of her car and runs up to the cab of the truck and knocks on the door. The driver rolls his window down and the blond says "Hi, my name is Heather, and I thought you should know you're losing some of your load." The guy just rolls his window up and goes on his way when the light turns green. At the next light, the blond jumps out again, runs up to the truck, knocks and says "HI, my name is Heather, and I thought you should know, you're losing some of your load." The guy says "Look lady, just leave me alone." and again goes on his way. At the next light, the whole thing is repeated. "Hi, I'm Heather and I thought you should know you're losing some of your load." Again, the guy takes off as soon as the light turns green. At the next light, the guy stops and runs back to the blond's car and says "Hi, I'm Dave, it's November, We're in Cleveland, Ohio, and I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK."

  2. #62
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    A blonde owned a small business that she was about to lose, so she went to the church and prayed: "God, if I don't win the lotto, I will lose my business."
    She didn't win. So the next day she was about to lose her business and her Car. She went to the church to pray: "God, if I don't win the lotto, I will lose my business and my car." Still, she didn't win. So the next day she was bout to lose her business, her car and her house. She went to the church to Pray: "God, if I don't win the lotto, I will lose my business, my car and my house." Then suddenly the blonde was surrounded by a blinding white light, and she heard the booming voice of God declare, "Buy a ticket!!!"

    **************************************** ***********


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  3. #63
    Junior Member Acapella's Avatar
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    I've heard this is a true story. A blonde walks into a NAPA dealer and asks for a 710 cap. The deals says "What's a 710 cap? What does it do?" She replies "I don't know but it's always on the engine and it's not there now". So he says "Can you draw me a picture of it?". So the blonde draws a picture of a metal cap about 2 inches in diameter and puts a '710' on the top at which point the dealer (and his buddies behind the counter) break-up laughing. Hint: Read it upside-down.

  4. #64
    Member truckoflites's Avatar
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    Too much too much, LMAO. Congrats on POD.
    CONGRATS ON POST-OF-DAY.

  5. #65
    Member nelgl13's Avatar
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    I Just Love Blondes Lol

  6. #66
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nelgl13 View Post
    I Just Love Blondes Lol
    imagine that ... lol

  7. #67
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    Smile Vegas Coke Machine .....

    A blonde in Las Vegas goes up to the Coke machine, puts in a dollar, and gets a Coke.

    She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.

    She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.

    She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.

    Finally, the man behind her says, "Hey, lady. Do you think I could use the machine?"

    She replies, "Fuck off! Can't you see I'm winning!



    **************************************** ******


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  8. #68
    Jokeroo Immortal stevent222's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LAWRENCE View Post
    A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the
    tip of her index finger shot off.

    "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

    "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

    "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by
    shooting your finger off?"

    "No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest,
    and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,
    I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

    "So then?" asked the doctor.

    "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid
    $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in
    the mouth."

    "So then?"

    "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to
    make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I
    pulled the trigger."



    *************************
    This one seems about the most logical one of them all.

  9. #69
    Senior Member GOLDEN_GIRL's Avatar
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    These are great....Congrats again on POD...lol!!





  10. #70
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    great blonde jokes

  11. #71
    Junior Member Car wash's Avatar
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by brilor View Post
    And if you are really bad you might get a BJ!
    (Squirt is always threatening me with that)!
    Is that( BJ ) meaning BIG JUGS ?



  12. #72
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Car wash View Post
    Is that( BJ ) meaning BIG JUGS ?
    *looks down shirt ... define big? lol

  13. #73
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    A blonde is bragging about her knowledge of state capitols...

    Proudly, she says, "Go ahead. Ask me. I know all of them!"

    Her friend says, "Ok then. What is the capitol of Wisconsin?"

    The blonde boastfully smiles and says, "That's easy: W."


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  14. #74
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    Three blondes are walking through the forest. They come upon some tracks.

    The first blonde says "They're deer tracks."

    The second blonde says "They're bear tracks."

    The third blonde says "They're moose tracks."

    Then a train hits them.



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  15. #75
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    Carrying a Harp
    ***********
    My friend, Monica, is an accomplished harpist who frequently plays for weddings, receptions, parties and other such events. She is also blonde and has an appropriately cherubic face.

    She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray-haired man stepped on.

    As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?"

    **********************************


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  16. #76
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    A young blonde secretary was describing her evening's exploits to a friend."After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that."
    "That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve, did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his mother worry."


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  17. #77
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist' s couch,telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too."

    The shrink thought for a moment and said, "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"

    The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says, "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"

  18. #78
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops, when they decide to hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags.

    The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it, she says "meow," and the cop confirms that it is just a cat.

    The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it and she says "woof." The cop says that it is just a dog.

    The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it, and she says in her sweetest voice, "POTATO."



    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx


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  19. #79
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
    Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds.

  20. #80
    Senior Member LAWRENCE's Avatar
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    Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar.
    One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more
    cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass."
    Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away.
    Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
    "That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem... If
    I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car."

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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