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Thread: Religious fervour!

  1. #841
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    Default Re: Religious fervour!


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    Default Re: Religious fervour!

    Two rabbis - one Reformed and the other Orthodox - were discussing their respective congregations one day.
    The Reformed rabbi asked the Orthodox leader, "Why don't you let the men and women of your congregation sit together, as they do in my temple?"
    The Orthodox rabbi - known for his sense of humor - replied:
    "If you want to know the truth, I don't really mind them sitting together at all. But, you see, my sermons aren't that interesting and I just can't have them 'Sleeping Together'".

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    Default Re: Religious fervour!

    A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.
    "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team,"
    "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
    "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."

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    Default Re: Religious fervour!

    lol ...

  6. #846
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    Default Re: Religious fervour!

    A farmer was out plowing one day, when his son ran up to the tractor excitedly.
    "Daddy, there's some preacher come to visit, and Momma wants you to come in and meet him"
    The farmer said "Son, I have to finish here, but I need your help. Go back inside and tell mom that I'll be there in a little while; find out which preacher it is; and do this:
    If it's the Catholic priest, hide the bottle of wine, he'll drink it all if you don't.
    If it's the Lutheran minister, hide the cookie jar with Momma's butter and egg money in it, he'll talk her out of all of it.
    And if it's the Baptist preacher, you sit on Momma's lap until I get there!"

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    Default Re: Religious fervour!


  8. #848
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    Default Re: Religious fervour!

    One morning a man comes into the church on crutches.
    He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches.
    An altar boy witnessed the scene and runs into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.
    Without batting an eye, the priest says, "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man?"
    "Over by the holy water, Father. Flat on his ass."

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    Default Re: Religious fervour!


  10. #850
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    Default Re: Religious fervour!

    One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.
    He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
    After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering.
    He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
    A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand.
    The pastor asked her to come to the front.
    Slowly she made her way to the pastor.
    He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
    Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said,
    "I'll take him, and him, and him.


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