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Thread: the battle rages on ...

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    Default Dear Tide...


    I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

    One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

    What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

    Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.



  8. #88
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    roflmfao ... that's one battle over! lol

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    HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN:

    Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her.
    Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her.
    Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her.
    Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers.
    Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth
    and back again for her.

    HOW TO TREAT A MAN:

    Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV

  11. #91
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    Default To Be 6 Again:

    A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

    "I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking in the mirror.

    On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

    He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

    Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again??"

    Her eyes slowly opened and her _expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!"


    The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

  12. #92
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    awwwwwwwwwwwwww ... I'd give him an E for effort! lol

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