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Thread: Nurses

  1. #1
    Jokeroo Immortal little bit's Avatar
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    Default Nurses

    Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to
    Hell?
    It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!

    You know you're a nurse if...



    You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.

    Your sense of humor gets more warped each year. Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.

    You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.

    You wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom.

    You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.

    You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from

    The hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.


    Discussing bodily fluids over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.



    You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

    You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even
    In the nicest restaurants.

    You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if you say,
    "It's unusually quiet around here today"

    You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I
    Have no idea how that got stuck in there".


    You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you even
    Knew before you started nursing.

    Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you .

    You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to
    Convince the doctor is more difficult."

    You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your
    Coworker and to holler if they need help.

    Your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's water tank.

    You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in grocery waiting lines.

    You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that
    They will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

    Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.

    You have seen more penises than any prostitute.

    If you are not a nurse and have been sent this by a friend who
    Is, it's just to help you understand our mind set and questionable
    Mental status/sanity. Most of the time we function in spite of this
    Sick sense of humor, fairly normally and very responsibly.

    Scary, huh??????
    KNOW A NURSE????.....PASS IT ON....





    Enjoy the little things, for one day you may
    look back and realize they were the big things

  2. #2
    Jokeroo Enthusiast Country17's Avatar
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    God bless our nurses




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    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Amen to that, they are the unsung heroes of the medical profession!
    great post Mom, Love You! ... *big hugs*










    There's one thing for which you should be abundantly thankful
    Only you and God have all the facts about yourself ♥

  4. #4
    Jokeroo Immortal little bit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country17 View Post
    God bless our nurses
    Thank you sexy country !! *HUGS* Diana

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    Jokeroo Immortal little bit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    Amen to that, they are the unsung heroes of the medical profession!
    great post Mom, Love You! ... *big hugs*
    Thank you my naughty Squirt !!! The sad and scarey thing is I have to admit I have loved every min of it( over 40 yrs) The rewards are great.*HUGS*Mom Love you

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    Jokeroo Enthusiast Country17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little bit View Post
    Thank you sexy country !! *HUGS* Diana
    You're welcome, Diana....Hugs

    Quote Originally Posted by little bit View Post
    Thank you my naughty Squirt !!! The sad and scarey thing is I have to admit I have loved every min of it( over 40 yrs) The rewards are great.*HUGS*Mom Love you
    I don't think, or at least I hope Squirt doesn't come down on me too hard for borrowing her reply. I respect nurses more than I do doctors.....so, where were you when I was in the hospital for 8 days, 6 yrs. ago? I'll bet you would have taken really good care of me!!

  7. #7
    Jokeroo Immortal little bit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country17 View Post
    You're welcome, Diana....Hugs



    I don't think, or at least I hope Squirt doesn't come down on me too hard for borrowing her reply. I respect nurses more than I do doctors.....so, where were you when I was in the hospital for 8 days, 6 yrs. ago? I'll bet you would have taken really good care of me!!
    If I had known I would of been there as your private duty nurse. Honey,you would of gotten such good care you wouldn't want to leave .*LOL* I love being a nurse & only pray that someday soon I can get back to it..I so miss it !! well, sexy country all I can say is if(hopefully not) you have to go in hospital again you let me know I will be there with a smile on my face..*HUGS* Diana

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    Senior Member Iceman's Avatar
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    I think nurses are the most underpaid workers in America..They must really love their work to put up with all the shit they have to put up with..They have my greatest respect...


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    Jokeroo VIP Status sexysadie's Avatar
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    Amen to that!!








    Don't judge me, you haven't walked in my shoes, or ridden on my broom.


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    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little bit View Post
    Thank you my naughty Squirt !!! The sad and scarey thing is I have to admit I have loved every min of it( over 40 yrs) The rewards are great.*HUGS*Mom Love you
    it takes a VERY special person to be a nurse Mom
    Love You ... *big hugs*

  11. #11
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country17 View Post
    You're welcome, Diana....Hugs



    I don't think, or at least I hope Squirt doesn't come down on me too hard for borrowing her reply. I respect nurses more than I do doctors.....so, where were you when I was in the hospital for 8 days, 6 yrs. ago? I'll bet you would have taken really good care of me!!
    what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine ... ... that's not right lol what's mine is yours! there, that's better! lol

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    Jokeroo Enthusiast Country17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little bit View Post
    If I had known I would of been there as your private duty nurse. Honey,you would of gotten such good care you wouldn't want to leave .*LOL* I love being a nurse & only pray that someday soon I can get back to it..I so miss it !! well, sexy country all I can say is if(hopefully not) you have to go in hospital again you let me know I will be there with a smile on my face..*HUGS* Diana
    I wish you would have been there, I could have used some TLC. But I wasn't a very good stay in my room person, I was wandering the halls with my IV tree in tow, visiting other patients, using the elevator, the poor nurses could never find me when they wanted me lol BUT....you would have to be REALLY good to make me not want to get out of there lol If I do have to go in again sometime, Diana, you are right at the top of my call list....hugs

  13. #13
    Jokeroo Enthusiast Country17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine ... ... that's not right lol what's mine is yours! there, that's better! lol
    *whew* That's why I like you, Squirt....you're so cute!!!

  14. #14
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country17 View Post
    *whew* That's why I like you, Squirt....you're so cute!!!
    if you think I'm cute now, you should see me naked! lol

  15. #15
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Love You Mom! lmao

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    Jokeroo Enthusiast Country17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    if you think I'm cute now, you should see me naked! lol
    Yes, I should!!!! :p

  17. #17
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country17 View Post
    Yes, I should!!!! :p
    I'm magically delicious lol seeing is believing! lol :p

  18. #18
    Senior Member Iceman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    I'm magically delicious lol seeing is believing! lol :p
    Show us and make us believe....We wanna see..

  19. #19
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    a promise made and a promise kept! lol you'll have to come see for yourself! lol

  20. #20
    Jokeroo Immortal little bit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iceman View Post
    I think nurses are the most underpaid workers in America..They must really love their work to put up with all the shit they have to put up with..They have my greatest respect...
    Thank you so much, sexy Iceman !! I know your going to think I'm nuts but money was never an issue for me,I loved doing what I did and would love to do it for another 40 yrs.I never had the probelms with my patients that some nurses had. some doctors said I was unprofessional at times because of the way I joked with my patients but they never had any complaints they all said I made them feel like we were old friends and not a burden. heck I have even told pts, when they asked for pain meds ,NO (just joking) and they would laugh at some of reasons I gave for not wanting to give them a shot..alot of the new nurses are only in it for the money or to marry a Doctor.they say I'm a nurse from the old school *LOL*Thank you so much !! I hope your doing better now,haven't heard from you..*HUGS* Diana

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