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Thread: Sick Jokes

  1. #81
    Jokeroo Immortal stevent222's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    awwwwwwwww come on, share! lol the ones I took are not what YOU are thinking! lol I hope ... lmao :p
    Well always loved the baby ones, like you know why you put a baby in a blender feet frist?

    So you can watch there exprections.

  2. #82
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    that's bad lol :p

  3. #83
    Jokeroo Immortal stevent222's Avatar
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    Know whats red and sits in the corner?

    A dead baby.



    Know whats red and green and sits in a corner?

    Same baby a week later.


    Then I got sick of the Elephant jokes and baby jokes, so I made up this one.

    You know why Elegators have short feet?

    So airplanes can't fly under them. HA! HA! HA! HA! (yes I am kinda like Red Skelton and laugh at my own jokes)

  4. #84
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    How do you make a baby drink?
    Pop him in the blender!


    What's the best thing about make love to twenty eight year olds?

    There's twenty of them!

  5. #85
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    I've been blaspheming and upsetting religious extremist groups, who have been giving me death threats.
    I've had to go on the Jehovah's Witness Protection Scheme.

  6. #86
    Jokeroo Immortal stevent222's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinnie View Post
    I've been blaspheming and upsetting religious extremist groups, who have been giving me death threats.
    I've had to go on the Jehovah's Witness Protection Scheme.
    Wish you alot of luck on that one Vinnie cause you now know that you'll be selling Watch Towers for the rest of your life.

  7. #87
    Member truckoflites's Avatar
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    Congrats
    You are good, I don't remember when the last time I laughed so hard. I don't laugh at a lot of jokes.
    CONGRATS ON POST-OF-DAY.

  8. #88
    Member Studman 2's Avatar
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    I would love to see the one you took off!!!

  9. #89
    Super Moderator Bamber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinnie View Post
    When you have a fat friend, there are no see-saws, only catapults.
    Hmmm... now what does that remind me of?

    Usquequaque in fimus; tantum altitudinem varius.

  10. #90
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Studman 2 View Post
    I would love to see the one you took off!!!
    well, dammit, I didn't save it lol

  11. #91
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    I still have all the messages...
    I went out for a vindaloo last night and my arse is really sore today.

    I can't believe some of the things I do for a free curry.

  12. #92
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    An old man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.

    The doctor enters the examination room and says to the man, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

    The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"

    The wife yells back to him, "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR."





    Twenty three people have been found glued to the ceiling and walls of a train station in Dublin.

    Police believe Irish Muslims have set off the first NO MORE NAILS bomb.




    My Gran said when she died she wanted to be cremated. Luckily, we managed to get it done for free.

    Well, it was November 5th.

  13. #93
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    "Is the cup half full, or half empty?"

    For fuck's sake just buy the bra, Kylie.

  14. #94
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    My mum always said, "Never use two words when one will do."

    Why didn't she just say, "Avoid verbosity"?

  15. #95
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    I'm feeling a bit miserable today. Someone entered me for a competition.

    I wouldn't have minded but I only bent over to tie my shoelace.

  16. #96
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    Michael Jackson is planning some dates for the O2 Arena this summer.
    He is going to take them all to see The Tweenies.

  17. #97
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    I'd like to be the last man on Earth.
    Then I would know if all those girls were telling the truth.

  18. #98
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    For years, I have been plagued by what I presumed were terrible hemorrhoids - agony going for a shit, blood loss when wiping my arse, strange bulges in my anus; accompanied by incredible pain when walking normally - so I finally went to the doctor to ask for advice.

    He advised me that if the wife offers the ultimatum of 'load the dishwasher, or I'll shove a pineapple up your arse when you are asleep' then I should load the dishwasher...

  19. #99
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    My son was really scared after swallowing some lego.
    He was shitting bricks for a few days.

  20. #100
    Senior Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    What do you call a tall guy who can masturbate 10 times in a single day?

    No, it's not a joke -- I need to know what to put on my CV.

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