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Thread: Mackem jokes

  1. #61
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Why wasn't Jesus born in Mackem land instead of Nazareth?

    Because they couldn't find any virgins or wise men!

  2. #62
    Jokeroo VIP Status Anna's Avatar
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    hehe...great add opns-TY

  3. #63
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brilor View Post
    Why wasn't Jesus born in Mackem land instead of Nazareth?

    Because they couldn't find any virgins or wise men!
    i asked a mackem lass if she was a virgin she replied " not yet"



  4. #64
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anna_hun View Post
    hehe...great add opns-TY
    Anna , do you know the difference between a Georgie and a mackem?

    NO.

    well i will tell you..... THE PREMIER DIVISION.



  5. #65
    Jokeroo VIP Status Anna's Avatar
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    lmbo..sounds about right..lol

  6. #66
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the Mackem that bought a new bath and returned to the store complaining that it leaked.
    "Did you buy a plug," asked the salesman?
    " Bastard, you never said it was electric"!

  7. #67
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    What s the difference between a mackem woman with PMS and a pit bull?
    Lipstick.

  8. #68
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Q: How can you tell a mackem woman?
    A: She rolls her own tampons.

  9. #69
    Jokeroo VIP Status Anna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brilor View Post
    What s the difference between a mackem woman with PMS and a pit bull?
    Lipstick.
    well my mother in law is org.from the durham area...?!?

  10. #70
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anna_hun View Post
    well my mother in law is org.from the durham area...?!?
    she is not a mackam ...a wanna be mackem maybe.... but not a true Thoroughbred mackam like myself.

    i bet mum in law does not put "eeeeeee" in front of every sentence or "like" at the end of every one.



  11. #71
    Jokeroo VIP Status Anna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by konifur2 View Post
    she is not a mackam ...a wanna be mackem maybe.... but not a true Thoroughbred mackam like myself.

    i bet mum in law does not put "eeeeeee" in front of every sentence or "like" at the end of every one.
    no she doesnt but can be feisty...but she got fostered up to newcstle
    when he mother died..
    Hubby got a workmate,who puts like,behind everything...
    but I know a welsh guy who does it too?

  12. #72
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anna_hun View Post
    no she doesnt but can be feisty...but she got fostered up to newcstle
    when he mother died..
    Hubby got a workmate,who puts like,behind everything...
    but I know a welsh guy who does it too?
    no the welsh put " is`nt it " at the end of every sentence.



  13. #73
    Jokeroo VIP Status Anna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by konifur2 View Post
    no the welsh put " is`nt it " at the end of every sentence.
    Not him..lol-maybe its a trendy youth thing

  14. #74
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Q: What are the differences between an Mackem Girl and a fridge?
    A: The fridge doesnt fart when you take you meat out of it.

  15. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by brilor View Post
    Q: What are the differences between an Mackem Girl and a fridge?
    A: The fridge doesnt fart when you take you meat out of it.
    OMG

  16. #76
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the Mackem who thought Johnny Cash was coins for the Condom machine?

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by brilor View Post
    Did you hear about the Mackem who thought Johnny Cash was coins for the Condom machine?
    ..lol

  18. #78
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brilor View Post
    Did you hear about the Mackem who thought Johnny Cash was coins for the Condom machine?
    but jock though "FUCK ALL " was a stately home.
    also he thought "HADAWAY AND SHITE " was a firm of lawyers.
    he also thought "Sherlock Holmes" was a block of flats....



  19. #79
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by konifur2 View Post
    but jock though "FUCK ALL " was a stately home.
    also he thought "HADAWAY AND SHITE " was a firm of lawyers.
    he also thought "Sherlock Holmes" was a block of flats....
    What about the Mackem that thought Sunderland were a good football team?

  20. #80
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Little Johnny Mackem kept disrupting his third grade class by regularly
    letting loud farts. His teacher kept him after school. When she
    insisted on knowing why he exhibited such offensive behavior, Little
    Johnny Mackem said, "I do it because I can do it better than anybody, and I'm
    very proud of that fact."

    The teacher says, "If I show you I can do it better than you, will
    you stop?"

    Little Johnny Mackem agreed and the teacher placed two pieces of paper on the
    floor with identical piles of chalk dust on each one. Johnny Mackem dropped
    his pants, squatted down, farted and blew all but a tiny little speck
    of dust off the paper.

    The teacher dropped her panties, lifted her skirt, squatted down,
    farted and when she was done there was not a trace of chalk dust
    left on the paper. Johnny Mackem was astonished and asked if he could see her
    do it again. She was willing and as she repeated the process, Johnny Mackem
    peeked up underneath her skirt.

    "No wonder you won!" he exclaimed indignantly, "you've got a
    Double-Barrel!"

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