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Thread: Racist jokes

  1. #21
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Talking

    what do you call a Mackem Pakastani submarine commander?

    Gandeep Undawatta




  2. #22
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Mrs Jones phones her estate agent to ask why he had valued her house at 150k when Mr Mohammed's next door had been valued at 200k when they were the
    exact same. He replied by telling her that Mr Mohammed didn't live next door to a Paki!

  3. #23
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    2 indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both were rushed to hospital ... one's in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka

  4. #24
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Wink

    A British Airways flight was headed towards Jamaica when the pilot makes an announcement; "Ladies and Gentlemen, our planes seems to be overloaded and we seem to be losing altitude. We will be offloading some baggage to help us on our way"... Half an hour later the pilot makes another announcement; "Ladies and Gentlemen we are still overweight and we regret to inform you we will be offloading passengers, but to be fair we will be doing it in alphabetical order"

    "Will all Africans come to the front? Now can the Blacks, Coons and Darkies follow them?"

    At the back of the plane a black man and his kid are ducked down looking nervous, the son says to his dad, "Dad, aren't we all of those people?" To which the father replies in a whisper, "yes son, but today we are WOGS"



  5. #25
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Little Pakistani girl goes to her mum and says 'Mummy, I don't want to be a lesbian when I grow up.' Mum says 'What makes you think you'll be a lesbian, Minjita?'



  6. #26
    Senior Member Iceman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hortysir View Post
    How do you fit 10 Jews into a Volkswagen?

    Throw in a quarter.

    How do you get them out?


    Throw in a bar of soap.




    Who holds the world record for the most people fit into a Volkswagen?
    31 of them from Dade City, Florida


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    Quote Originally Posted by konifur View Post
    what do you call a Mackem Pakastani submarine commander?

    Gandeep Undawatta


    this is a 'revelation' for me!! haha!

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by konifur View Post
    Little Pakistani girl goes to her mum and says 'Mummy, I don't want to be a lesbian when I grow up.' Mum says 'What makes you think you'll be a lesbian, Minjita?'
    CAVEAT:: MINJITA Is NOT a Pakistani name, it's Indian hindu!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by brilor View Post
    C'mon lets have all your racist jokes. Let no nationality be spared! It's only a bit of fun!

    I'll start. (these have a scottish accent by the way!)

    What do you call a Pakistani popstar?

    Akani Singh.


    What do you call a Pakistani that has just ran a marathon?

    Mafeet Arsair.



    What do you call a Pakistani porn star?

    Ramit Baldeep!
    Hmm,,,,I see how Pakistan is getting famous among the Americans, the Canadians and the West!!:blink: but there are NO Singhs in Pakistan....it's mostly Khans!!

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  15. #35
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Muslim's use their left Hand to wipe their Arse.......
    I prefer to use toilet paper, failing that, pages from the Koran will do.



  16. #36
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    A London Fire



    In a run-down part of East London, a fire destroyed a dilapidated four-storey house that had been divided into four flats.

    A Nigerian family of six Internet con artists and full time benefit cheats lived on the first floor............. all six tragically perished in the fire.

    A group of seven Islamic welfare cheats, all illegally in the country, lived on the second floor..............they too, all perished in the fire.

    Six Albanian, gang banger, ex-cons - all claiming political asylum and living off the state for free, occupied the 3rd floor................they too, died.

    But the middle aged British white couple who lived on the top floor miraculously survived the fire.

    The Equal Opportunities Commission, Amnesty International, Rights activists, black community leaders and the British Islamic Council were all furious at the apparent racial inequality of the situation.

    Why was just the British white couple saved?
    It was monstrous they claimed, and showed that systemic 'racism' still existed in all areas of public service - questions were raised in the House of Commons, the popular media picked up the story and within hours it was national and indeed international news.


    Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, when questioned stated calmly that it would be unwise to jump to conclusions until the Police and Fire Service had completed their report. He closed by stating that he expected their initial assessment to be available within the next 36 hours so perhaps it would be best to let the experts gather the evidence and report back before he commented any further.

    The baying Press pack subsequently reported the interview in such way as to intimate that the Mayor was indifferent to suffering and was out of touch with the feelings of the whole East London community!
    A large motorcade of representatives from all five groups, together with the Home Secretary drove to the area, having demanded a meeting with the local chief fire officer.

    They made sure that a large pack of popular Press and TV had been briefed on the visit and so the motorcade was met by a huge gaggle of journalists, TV interviewers and cameras.
    On camera, they loudly demanded to know why the Africans, Black Muslims and Albanians all died in the fire and only the white couple lived.
    One bemused chief fire officer quietly replied ...

    "Because they were both at work."

  17. #37
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    A man dressed in Harley Davidson leathers is visiting the zoo in Toronto , Ontario

    when he sees a little girl leaning into the bars of the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion

    grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her,

    under the eyes of her screaming parents.

    The biker without hesitation runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
    Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl,

    and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.



    A Canadian press reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing

    the biker says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen

    a man do in my whole life.'


    The biker replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars.

    I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'



    The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed.

    I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this

    story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and

    what political affiliation do you have?'



    The biker replies, 'I'm a police officer in town for the G20 and a Conservative.'

    The journalist leaves.

    The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions,
    and reads, on the front page:
    "CANADIAN COP ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT
    AND STEALS HIS LUNCH"
    That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.

  18. #38
    Super Moderator Bamber's Avatar
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    I agree with you in principle Mazbut, but by its very nature this is a deliberately offensive thread: someone will find something unacceptable in just about every post here.
    Usquequaque in fimus; tantum altitudinem varius.

  19. #39
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    the local vicar uses his right Hand to wipe his Arse.......
    I prefer to use toilet paper, failing that, pages from the Bible will do.



    any complaints about this gag, please tell a moderator who will delete it.



  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by konifur View Post
    the local vicar uses his right Hand to wipe his Arse.......
    I prefer to use toilet paper, failing that, pages from the Bible will do.



    any complaints about this gag, please tell a moderator who will delete it.
    where can I find humor in it??

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