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Thread: Racist jokes

  1. #41
    Super Moderator Bamber's Avatar
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    Usquequaque in fimus; tantum altitudinem varius.

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  3. #43
    Senior Member Tokentoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mazbut View Post
    Racist jokes ought to be subtle
    and not direct.
    You mean like this?

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    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    ohhh yes. the best and funniest ventriloquist ever. great post Pat. i have seen his live show on dvd 3 times and still pissed myself laughing.
    the mans a genius.



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    YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!

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    Senior Member LilMissPurrfect's Avatar
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    Since when do we have to see dead people in the funny joke section? I know there is good humour..great humour.....bad humour.....tasteless humour.......but watching dead people is No JOKE at all!!

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    Don't you think If I were wrong I'd know it?

    ~Dr Sheldon Cooper~

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    A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

    Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”

    The nurse says: “She had twins.”

    He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”

    She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of the babies are black.”

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    What’s white and twelve inches long? Nothing!

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    One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, “George, what''s the best thing I can do to help the country?”

    “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” Washington advises, and then fades away…

    The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, “Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?”

    “Respect the Constitution, as I did,” Jefferson advises, and dims from sight…The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, “Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?”

    “Help the less fortunate, just as I did,” FDR replies and fades into the mist…

    Bush isn''t sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, “Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?

    “Lincoln replies, “Go see a play.”

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    Super Moderator kipper's Avatar
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    Bamber has warned you, anymore crap and I'll close the thread.

  16. #56
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mazbut View Post
    A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

    Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”

    The nurse says: “She had twins.”

    He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”

    She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of the babies are black.”
    She must be like my wife.....everything in the oven gets burnt!!

  17. #57
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    there doesn't seem enough 'proofing'

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    A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver “What’s that building there?” “That’s the Royal York Hotel” replied the cabbie. “The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?” asked the Texan. “About 12 years” replied the cabbie. “12 years? We build em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months.” A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. “What’s that building over there?” asked the Texan. “That’s the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre” replied the cabbie. “Convention Centre? How long d it take to build that?” asked the Texan. “About three years” replied the cabbie. “Three years? We build em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only takes us about two weeks.” Shortly thereafter the cabbie drives past the CN Tower. “What’s that building there?” asks the Texan, pointing at the tower. “Danged if I know” replied the cabbie, “It wasn’t here when I drove by yesterday.”

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    When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. “And the Americans, they are so friendly!” he concluded. “Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, …. Jose, can you see? ‘

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    Chinese Jews
    Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “are there any Jews in China?” “I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?” “I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No, Chinese Jews.” “Are you sure?” Al asked. “I will check again, sir,” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.” When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.” “Are you really sure?” Al asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.” “Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews.

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