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Thread: random Jokes

  1. #5201
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    A very proper man started going into the neighbourhood drug store every week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms.
    Week after week, he would come in with the same order.
    One day, the druggist felt he had to say something to the man.
    "Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting lucky! How on earth do you use that many condoms a week?"
    The man looked at him in disgust and said, "I beg your pardon, but I find the whole idea of sex repulsive!"
    So, the druggist asked, "Then what do you do with all those condoms?"
    The gentleman answered, "I feed them to my poodle now she poops in little plastic bags."

  2. #5202
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    lol ...

  3. #5203
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas.
    The week flew by and they all had a great time.
    After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
    The first guy says, "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my wife flings her arms and hollers, '7 come 11' all night & I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
    The second guy says, "I know what you mean. My wife played blackjack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers, 'Hit me light or hit me hard!' and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!"
    The third guy says, "You guys think you have it bad! My wife played the slots the whole time we were there and I wake up each morning with a sore genitals and a behind full of quarters."

  4. #5204
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    lol ...

  5. #5205
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    A man walked into his crowded local, he had a pistol in his hand that he was waving about and yelled, “I have a 45 calibre pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who’s been sleeping with my wife.”
    A voice from the back of the room called out, “You’ll need more ammo”.

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    Default Re: random Jokes




  7. #5207
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  8. #5208
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    A lady at the far end of the bar waves her arm in the air to get the attention of the waiter and by doing that, exposes her hairy armpit.
    Down the other end of the bar is a very drunk man who says, "Hey, get the ballerina a drink would you."
    "How do you know she's a ballerina?"
    "Well, no one else would get their leg up that high."

  9. #5209
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  10. #5210
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    One woman says to another, "I can't understand why you haven't gone to see that new gynecologist yet!"
    "My gynecologist is fine.
    I don't need to change."

    "But the new one's so young and handsome.
    While your gynecologist is so old!"
    The other woman replies with a smile, "Yeah, I know.
    His hands shake all the time!"

  11. #5211
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  12. #5212
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a woman sitting by herself.
    Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
    Lady: "No thank you; alcohol is bad for my legs."
    Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
    Lady: "No, they open !!!"

  13. #5213
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    On Valentine's Day a shy but drunk young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
    "Yes, I do," she replied, but go ahead, since I'm sure you are going to ask anyway."
    "Okay," he said. "How many men have you slept with?"
    "That's my business!" she snapped.
    "Oh cool!" he said. "How much?"
    Last thing he remembered before waking up in the hospital.

  14. #5214
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    An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, "But you just got a new pair last month!"
    "Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident," stammered the private.
    "Accident, what kind of an accident?" The Captain looked in his book of Accident definitions and glossaries, "Road-march accident, Firing Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?"
    "No, no nothing of those..." said the private.
    "Well then, what is it?"
    "I'd rather not tell you sir..."
    "Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses," said the medical officer, ready to stand up, "I've to see my patients now."
    "No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl," blurted the private.
    "Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing a girl?"
    "You see, she crossed her legs....."

  15. #5215
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    Default Re: random Jokes

    A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.
    The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?"
    "No," the farmer said.
    The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
    "No."
    The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck."
    The farmer shot Chuck.

  16. #5216
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    Default Re: random Jokes


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