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Thread: Drop or try to help?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Goodgrief's Avatar
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    Default Drop or try to help?


    A close friend of mine is loosing her mind.

    She used to be practical, logical and a no-nonsense type of person.

    Things have changed. She has become overly emotional, secretive, domineering and obsessed with small details.

    It's getting to the point where I don't want to communicate with her.

    I try to make her laugh. I try to bring her back to reality.

    I really don't know how to deal with her anymore.

    Any ideas?

  2. #2
    Jokeroo Immortal stevent222's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    More details GG.
    Is she married? Might be having problems there.

    Or maybe money problems? Does she have other friends? Have you talked with them?

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    Super Moderator Bamber's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    Secretive, domineering and obsessed with small details? Is she thinking of standing for public office?

    Sorry, couldn't resist.

    All I can say is stick with it. It sounds as though she has real problems, but as I don't know the lady or circumstances I'm not going to give advice which could have the wrong effect; I'm afraid it's up to you Sylvie, you're the one on the spot. Can you think of anything which could have caused this change? Was it sudden? If so, it could be something has upset her and this is her way of trying to cope.
    Usquequaque in fimus; tantum altitudinem varius.

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    Senior Member Goodgrief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    She's had many physical problems in the last few years. She's always been the "off the wall" type of person. But. her attitude is driving me crazy.
    She is supposed to be on a trip with her cousin. When she called me, I asked her where she was. She told me they were in Montana. "Where?"
    "I don't know."
    That happened twice!

    How the heck do I deal with this?


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    Senior Member Goodgrief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamber View Post
    Secretive, domineering and obsessed with small details? Is she thinking of standing for public office?

    Sorry, couldn't resist.

    All I can say is stick with it. It sounds as though she has real problems, but as I don't know the lady or circumstances I'm not going to give advice which could have the wrong effect; I'm afraid it's up to you Sylvie, you're the one on the spot. Can you think of anything which could have caused this change? Was it sudden? If so, it could be something has upset her and this is her way of trying to cope.

    Thanks,Phil! Love the soft shoulder! You are a pal!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Goodgrief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamber View Post
    Secretive, domineering and obsessed with small details? Is she thinking of standing for public office?

    Sorry, couldn't resist.

    All I can say is stick with it. It sounds as though she has real problems, but as I don't know the lady or circumstances I'm not going to give advice which could have the wrong effect; I'm afraid it's up to you Sylvie, you're the one on the spot. Can you think of anything which could have caused this change? Was it sudden? If so, it could be something has upset her and this is her way of trying to cope.

    It's a long medical story. Name it, she has it. She got rid of the real physical issues. But the mind is what is troubling me. I am stoic, she's the drama queen. Thanks for listening. I still don't know how I'm going to deal with this. Love the shoulders!
    One way or another, I will have to try to make the best of it.
    Love you!


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    Jokeroo Immortal stevent222's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    I know your a strong woman Honey and will deal with it. Although really think that she should seek some type of medical help.

    When my grandpa got alzheimer's nobody knew what to do.

  8. #8
    Senior Member 01Aladdin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    Ok... serious question - age? Menopause? My mother lost her marbles for a few years after the big dry. She became a religious zealot and could not be talked to without her invoking some kind of religious doctrine and being told to go to church.

    So also seriously, could this friend's hormones be going berserk? Some women go through very little trouble, others endure pure physical and emotional hell.

  9. #9
    Senior Member 01Aladdin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    Quote Originally Posted by stevent222 View Post
    I know your a strong woman Honey and will deal with it. Although really think that she should seek some type of medical help.

    When my grandpa got alzheimer's nobody knew what to do.
    All mental health problems can be incredibly stressful on those around the patient. I agree with Steve - direct your friend to medical help somehow (baring in mind she'll hate you for saying anything at all negative).

  10. #10
    Senior Member LilMissPurrfect's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    I don't know your friend or how she was like before, so I can't really say anything about her,.....but it kind of sounds like the first signs of dementia.

  11. #11
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    when you love someone, when is enough enough? to me, the answer is never
    but I'm not having to deal with her
    you may not be able to get her to listen to you, but you'll be able to say you tried

  12. #12
    Senior Member Goodgrief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drop or try to help?

    Menopause? Perhaps, but I think it's deeper than that. She's only 49 and hasn't started the hot flashes yet.

    The last time I talked to her, she denied an incident that happened 4 years ago. We went on a girl's nigh out to a casino just east of the Rocky Mountains. She always claims she's afraid of flying.
    But there was a poster ad for helicopter rides. She went on and on about wanting to go on it! I talked her out of it because these outfits don't always maintain their equipment the way they should.

    Every damned thing is a contradiction or a state secret!

    We told her time and time again we no longer want to be involved in parties with her other friends. (Nothing in common, no love lost there).
    Last phone call... You have to come to a party on such and such a date! I'm inviting a whole bunch of people.....
    Nope, we won't be able to make it.

    It hurts to see her like this.

    You are right, Squirt. I will always love her as a friend. But distance will save my sanity.

    Thank you for listening. I don't think anyone can change the way things are. But it's nice to be able to share with friends.


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