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Thread: Letting go

  1. #21
    A Premium Jokaroo'er Dannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go

    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff_the_Beard View Post
    Therapy is a good idea, but don't make the mistake of booking appointments just because the therapist wants your money. Make sure that what you both say is really helping, though that might not be easy to assess in the early stages. As others have said, the most important things at this stage are to define what YOU want for the future. A new relationship is clearly desirable, but only with someone who wants you to have the relationship on your terms. Although it is a truism that many women got into a relationship with a man thinking that they can could him into what they want, the reality is that men rarely change, except possibly for the worse. Take a long time building a new relationship, to make sure that the new man IS what you want, in ALL aspects. At the same time, be realistic. All the perfect men are already taken!
    You're absolutely right, Geoff.

    Don't mistake what I typed. I am not looking to change a man or command a relationship but I understand what you are saying. When I was making notes of what I wanted in a man, it was certain personality traits that I find desirable, simple little things like a kind heart, intelligence, etc.

    But like I said, you're right. It's what I truly want for myself for the future and right now, I truly just want to find some peace in my life. I want to heal and maybe later think about a new relationship or dating.

    I will watch out with the therapy. I know full well that a therapist does not have the solution for your problems that you have to do the work yourself. Thank you so much for your advice.

    Have a blessed day.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Goodgrief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go

    One more thing... Give yourself at least 2 years before you jump into another relationship. Feelings and memories take time to fade.

  3. #23
    Senior Member druid627's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go

    GG is right about that, and there is another reason besides memories and healing: getting back in touch with yourself. The things you do, is it because you like to do it that way or was it a compromise? This goes for some of the simplest things from food to scents, hair styles, clothes, resturants, etc. The world changed, and you have to find the you that best represents yourself, and present it to the world. Until you know who you are when this is done, please do not rush into things for the sake of getting out into the world again.

  4. #24
    Senior Member AuroraAngel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go

    Quote Originally Posted by druid627 View Post
    GG is right about that, and there is another reason besides memories and healing: getting back in touch with yourself. The things you do, is it because you like to do it that way or was it a compromise? This goes for some of the simplest things from food to scents, hair styles, clothes, resturants, etc. The world changed, and you have to find the you that best represents yourself, and present it to the world. Until you know who you are when this is done, please do not rush into things for the sake of getting out into the world again.

    Well said, both of you. Thank you so much for your advice.

    I have no doubt that I will not only discover myself again over time, but I will be just fine.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Goodgrief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go

    ​Wishing you luck and happiness.

  6. #26
    Senior Member AuroraAngel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go

    Quote Originally Posted by Goodgrief View Post
    ​Wishing you luck and happiness.

    Thank you so much, Goodgrief. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

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