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Thread: Gay Jokes

  1. #81
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    Tamal Ray, the Asian doctor on The Great British Bake Off, has revealed that he is gay.

    I was gob-smacked. Who on earth would have guessed that a gay man would be interested in baking?



  2. #82
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    A girl goes into the doctor's for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

    "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we fuck," she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

    "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we shag," she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

    "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why?"



  3. #83
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    Tom Daley, 21, announces his engagement to boyfriend Dustin Lance Black, 41, after two years of dating

    When Tom's mother was asked if she was worried about the age gap. She said that she was more worried about the gap widening in her son's bottom.



  4. #84
    Jokeroo Enthusiast konifur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    Arrrhhh tell her it`s ok, it goes back to normal after a few days.
    Last edited by konifur; 10-02-2015 at 11:31 AM.



  5. #85
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by konifur View Post
    Arrrhhh tell it`s ok, it goes back to normal after a few days.

    You lied, you told everyone that you were an anal virgin!

  6. #86
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    Me and my mate tried a different pub last night.

    Should have realized it was a gay bar when we saw the signs on the front door.

    "Please enter at rear" and "All deliveries up back passage."


  7. #87
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    My son's boyfriend is coming over for dinner later. I hadn't the slightest clue what to cook for him but luckily I overheard my son on the phone saying what his boyfriend likes to eat.

    Male chicken it is then.



  8. #88
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    I was cleaning the toilets in the Manchester conference center when I saw a phone number offering gay sex on the wall. Well I had to ring as I enjoy a little bum fun, imagine my surprise when Jeremy Corbyn answered.

    I guess David Cameron really does hate him after all.



  9. #89
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    Big Black Bubba walked upto me in the showers and said "how would you like my dark fat 9 inch cock in your little Bitch White Ass Newbie?"

    I said "I wouldn't be too keen on that, the whole thing just seems kind of gay to me"

    he replied with "you're over thinking this and technically it's only gay if you enjoy it, I don't enjoy doing it ever because i'm Black and we fucking hate fags."



  10. #90
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    Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
    Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
    Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
    Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!



  11. #91
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    Two farmers are in a bar and one says to the other, "I think my dog is gay!"

    "Why is that then?" the other one replied.

    "Because his cock tastes like shit," he answered.



  12. #92
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    "Dad, " said my son, "I don't know how to break this to you, I love you and I don't want to hurt you, but I have to be myself and I can't live a lie anymore. I'm gay. "
    "Oh my God, thank fuck for that son, " I replied, "I thought you were going to say you were a vegan. "

  13. #93
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    Did you ever hear about the Homosexual Scotsman?

    He preferred Pete to Heather!!



  14. #94
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    I went into a straight club the other night for the first time with my boyfriend as a proud and open gay man.

    The abuse I got was absolutely shocking and has proven to me that some people are still very backward thinking when it comes to sexual preferences in the 21st century.

    Totally fucking ruined Gary's 13th birthday too!



  15. #95
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    My mate was telling me about this fit bird he shagged the night before, "man, you had to see her blonde hair, big tits, perfect figure and when we got back to hers she turned out all the lights and let me shag her up the arse.

    I asked, "fuckin' hell, where did you meet her?"

    He replied, "The urinals."



  16. #96
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    Alan and Cyril two gays live together, Cyril dies.

    Alan rings round all their friends and invites them to a celebratory meal to honour his wonderful lovers life.
    The evening arrives and they all sit down to the hottest curry any of them have ever tasted, one of the friends asks "Why were we not invited to the funeral for Cyril?"

    Alan replies "I didn't want a funeral or a cremation for him so to be honest I chopped him up and we`re all eating him in the curry."
    All the friends start throwing up and one of them calls the police.

    Down at the station the detective horrified by the statements from the guests sits down if front of Alan and asks "From what your friends have told me you loved Cyril, you've never shown any violent tendencies before so for the love of God why would you chop him up and make a curry out of him?"

    Alan looks up slowly with tears in his eyes and says "None of you understand, I just wanted to feel him dribble out of my arse one last time."



  17. #97
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mum, I have something to tell you - I'm gay."

    His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay? Doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?"

    The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mum, that's right."

    His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and smacked him over the head with her spoon and said,
    "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!"



  18. #98
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    Petr Cech is set to be outed as one of the gay Premier League footballers.

    A teammate said, "he's always fiddling with his helmet in the changing room."


  19. #99
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    A gay guy wakes up in the middle of a field with the biggest grin on his face you could imagine.

    "Are you ok? " said the farmer.

    "Yes, I've just had the most wonderful experience, aliens abducted me and I remember everything, " he answered.

    "They fucking anally probed you, didn't they? " replied the farmer.


  20. #100
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    Default Re: Gay Jokes

    My daughter came running in and said, "Daddy, I've just seen two fairies at the bottom of the garden."

    Humouring her I said, "Really, what were they doing?"

    She said, "Sucking each other's cocks."


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