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Thread: 10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines

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    A Premium Jokaroo'er handymanmike92683's Avatar
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    10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines

    10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines

    Your eyes meet across a crowded room... the atmosphere is charged with desire... you approach, cool and composed... and knock 'em dead with a line like...

    1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

    2. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

    3. You have to tell me your name, because last night in my dreams, I could only call you 'baby'...

    4. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock...

    5. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

    6. At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh? Can I help?"

    7. Hi I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples...

    8. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you...

    9. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you...

    10. Have you ever played naked leap frog?










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    Senior Member choirboy1823's Avatar
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    OMG..Those are bad...Got to pass this post along..great post mike.








    "Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny."

    -Bob Marley


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    Member Shkeeptareh's Avatar
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    hee hee hee, here go a few of my favorites
    i really have to add to this....
    1. (in a candystore) i had to come over here...i have a weakness for sweet things,
    2. (in a flowershop) what say we make like the trees and leaf.....
    3. (after a health seminar)... Drop Dead Gorgeous...i know CPR!
    I am the Albanian Connection...Hear me roar!

    [jokeroo]i10ln.6mgo.gif[/jokeroo]

    "A leader must never fail to suicidally lead his troops into danger!"

    "I always make sure my instruments are sharp and stabby! It's the best way to stay happy!"

    Danger never looked this cute

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    A Premium Jokaroo'er handymanmike92683's Avatar
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    YEP I WARNED YA
    LOL
    I WOULDNT PASS EM TO FAR
    DONT THINK THEY'LL BE GETTING LUCKY
    ANYTIME SOON
    T/Y


    Quote Originally Posted by choirboy1823
    OMG..Those are bad...Got to pass this post along..great post mike.









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    A Premium Jokaroo'er handymanmike92683's Avatar
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    THANX FOR THE ADDS
    Shkeeptareh
    I DONT THINK I'LL BE USING ANY OF THESE
    LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by Shkeeptareh
    hee hee hee, here go a few of my favorites
    i really have to add to this....
    1. (in a candystore) i had to come over here...i have a weakness for sweet things,
    2. (in a flowershop) what say we make like the trees and leaf.....
    3. (after a health seminar)... Drop Dead Gorgeous...i know CPR!









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    Works in downtown Irish-style pub


    1 “Are you wearing any underwear?”

    2 “You look tired. Do you want a massage?”

    3 “I know your father is a thief, because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.”

    4 “Hi, sex.”

    5 Me: “Can I get you anything?”
    Him: [looking at my chest] “Yeah, I’d like some of that!”

    6 “How many guys hit on you a night? Does it ever work?”

    7 “You took my breath away. Can I have it back?”

    8 “Hey, sweetheart! Breakfast’s on me.”

    9 “Hey, babe, I want to sit in your section.”

    10 “Mind if I get fresh?”









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    Works in a very upscale midtown
    Asian-themed bar-restaurant

    1“Hey, we have something in common: I’m rich and you’re beautiful.”

    2 “Do you have any black in you? ’Cause your booty is slammin’!”

    3 “You have such good posture. Are you a dancer?”

    4 “This tastes almost as good as you look.”

    5 “My friend had a really bad day. If you do something to make it up to him, I’ll make it worth your while.”

    6 “Hey, geisha girl, fetch your master another martini.”

    7 “Do you wash your clothes with Windex? ’Cause I can see myself in your pants.”

    8 “Does your boyfriend tell you how beautiful you are very day? ’Cause if he doesn’t, I will.”

    9 “Are you on the menu?”

    10 “Can I charge the tab to my room? I don’t have a room yet, but if you join me, I’ll get one.”









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    5 Counterproductive Pick-Up Lines


    1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.

    2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?

    3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.

    4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?

    5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.










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    Jokeroo VIP Status Anna's Avatar
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    I think I mite try....The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you...there is something to blame afterwards..lmbo-
    +


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    AND WHAT MIGHT THERE BE
    TO BLAME AFTERWARDS
    HUN?


    Quote Originally Posted by anna_hun
    I think I mite try....The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you...there is something to blame afterwards..lmbo-









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    Jokeroo Legend Geoff_the_Beard's Avatar
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    The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

    I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

    I've lost my telephone number. Can I have yours?

    What do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?

    If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

    I'm a lawyer. Trust me.

    Is this seat empty? - Yes and this will be too if you sit down.


    I have lots more - I will try and post some of them tomorrow


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    A Premium Jokaroo'er handymanmike92683's Avatar
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    THOSE ARE GOOD /BAD ONES TOO
    LOL
    THANX FOR YOUR ADD
    LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE


    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff_the_Beard
    The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

    I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

    I've lost my telephone number. Can I have yours?

    What do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?

    If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

    I'm a lawyer. Trust me.

    Is this seat empty? - Yes and this will be too if you sit down.


    I have lots more - I will try and post some of them tomorrow









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    Default New Age Pick Up Line !!!!!!!

    Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of
    concerned...

    I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few
    drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because
    I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and
    we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go
    out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a
    lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual
    tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly
    incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we
    move in together for a while, then a few months later get
    married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger
    house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we
    have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks
    start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids,
    but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time
    for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of
    yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-
    confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification.
    You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me
    out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy
    and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the
    children.

    So, for God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's
    just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
    ________________________________________ _________

  14. #14
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    Default Medieval Pick-Up Lines

    Medieval Pick-Up Lines!


    1 - Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely
    knight could scabbard his sword, would you?

    2 - Been there, slain that.

    3 - Your hovel or mine?

    4 - Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword
    in action?

    5 - You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?



    6 - I like the cut of your jib.

    7 - If I were that horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the
    saddle.

    8 - Wizard : You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed.

    9 - Thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my pole arm
    whilst I attempt to light thy fire?

    10 - Dost thou practice safe hex?



    11 - Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great
    on my sleeping chambers floor.

    12 - I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you
    like to see my breaststroke?

    13 - Wench : What's that sound?
    Knight : That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers
    expanding.

    14 - Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!

    15 - You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a
    vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England
    depends on it!!



    16 - Ever see a passion play? Would you like to?

    17 - Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.

    18 - How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied
    you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled
    with lust..er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but
    tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.

    19 - I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the
    stocks and... er... PUNISH me, now won't you?

    20 - C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a
    day keep the black plague away.



    21 - I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!

    22 - Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your
    clothes disappear?

    23 - I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have
    sex with frogs?

    24 - My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help
    you out of it.

    25 - I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?



    26 - You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like
    Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let
    down.

    27 -I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady.

    28 - Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in
    the land.

    29 - Wanna polish my pike?

    30 - Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements
    with my grappling hook!



    31 - My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice?
    For I may surely see myself within their folds.

    32 - Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic
    within.

    33 - I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my
    heart.

    34 - Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your
    drawbridge and let me cross.

    35 - You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been
    ravaged and plundered by now.



    36 - What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?

    37 - You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.

    38 - They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.

    39 - My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.

    40 - When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the
    only thing they stretched.

  15. #15
    A Premium Jokaroo'er handymanmike92683's Avatar
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    LMAO
    THAT IS SO TRUE IN MANY CASE
    CUT TO THE CHASE
    LOL
    GOOD ONE JMS
    THANX



    Quote Originally Posted by jms_mlr
    Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of
    concerned...

    I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few
    drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because
    I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and
    we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go
    out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a
    lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual
    tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly
    incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we
    move in together for a while, then a few months later get
    married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger
    house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we
    have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks
    start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids,
    but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time
    for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of
    yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-
    confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification.
    You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me
    out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy
    and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the
    children.

    So, for God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's
    just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
    ________________________________________ _________









  16. #16
    A Premium Jokaroo'er handymanmike92683's Avatar
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    LMAO
    Medieval Pick-Up Lines!
    HOW FUNNY
    THESE ARE GREAT !
    THANX JMS

    Quote Originally Posted by jms_mlr
    Medieval Pick-Up Lines!


    1 - Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely
    knight could scabbard his sword, would you?

    2 - Been there, slain that.

    3 - Your hovel or mine?

    4 - Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword
    in action?

    5 - You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?



    6 - I like the cut of your jib.

    7 - If I were that horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the
    saddle.

    8 - Wizard : You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed.

    9 - Thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my pole arm
    whilst I attempt to light thy fire?

    10 - Dost thou practice safe hex?



    11 - Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great
    on my sleeping chambers floor.

    12 - I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you
    like to see my breaststroke?

    13 - Wench : What's that sound?
    Knight : That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers
    expanding.

    14 - Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!

    15 - You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a
    vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England
    depends on it!!



    16 - Ever see a passion play? Would you like to?

    17 - Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.

    18 - How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied
    you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled
    with lust..er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but
    tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.

    19 - I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the
    stocks and... er... PUNISH me, now won't you?

    20 - C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a
    day keep the black plague away.



    21 - I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!

    22 - Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your
    clothes disappear?

    23 - I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have
    sex with frogs?

    24 - My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help
    you out of it.

    25 - I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?



    26 - You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like
    Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let
    down.

    27 -I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady.

    28 - Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in
    the land.

    29 - Wanna polish my pike?

    30 - Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements
    with my grappling hook!



    31 - My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice?
    For I may surely see myself within their folds.

    32 - Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic
    within.

    33 - I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my
    heart.

    34 - Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your
    drawbridge and let me cross.

    35 - You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been
    ravaged and plundered by now.



    36 - What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?

    37 - You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.

    38 - They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.

    39 - My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.

    40 - When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the
    only thing they stretched.









  17. #17
    Senior Member Sporkmonki's Avatar
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    *giggling*


    omg !! those are great !



  18. #18
    Senior Member dads540's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by handymanmike92683
    10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines

    Your eyes meet across a crowded room... the atmosphere is charged with desire... you approach, cool and composed... and knock 'em dead with a line like...

    1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

    2. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

    3. You have to tell me your name, because last night in my dreams, I could only call you 'baby'...

    4. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock...

    5. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

    6. At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh? Can I help?"

    7. Hi I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples...

    8. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you...

    9. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you...

    10. Have you ever played naked leap frog?

    hehe,they really are bad!! good post!!!


    Thank You Cynthia!!!




    Thank you Aurora!!

  19. #19
    Senior Member sassypants's Avatar
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    Arrow

    10. Have you ever played naked leap frog?


    MY FAV!

  20. #20
    Jokeroo Enthusiast chelle7293's Avatar
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    4. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock...


    lmao!! come on barney!

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