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Thread: THE COLORS IN MY WORLD (each day i will add a new one)

  1. #21
    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill
    as i try to slow my mind down...the only pictures that are playing are dark and gloomy...there is enough darkness in this world...so tonight there will be no picture to paint...the only thing that is light is a poem i wrote for my daughter as i was battling the cancer a few years ago...we were having some disagreements as she was going through her teen years...we had a hard time seeing eye to eye on some topics and choices...years later when i was diagnosed i wrote her this poem..i hope you enjoy it

    BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER
    writtenby Ken J. C.
    SOMETIMES AS A DAD
    THINGS CAN BE A MESS
    I DON'T ALWAYS GET IT RIGHT
    AND THATíS MY FAULT I GUESS
    SOMETIMES MY EDGES ARE ROUGH
    MY WORDS NOT SO SMART
    BUT IF YOU LOOK DEEP INSIDE
    YOU'LL FIND A SENSITIVE HEART
    YES DEEP WITHIN THAT HEART
    THIS I KNOW TO BE TRUE
    YOU'RE MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER
    AND I LOVE YOU.

    posted with the ok from my daughter



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    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill
    awww thank you squirt for your kind words and encouragement...the colors i share are the beautiful ones...the dark ones i keep to myself...their is enough darkness in this world...i will not share those here...the purpose of this thread is brighten up the world...so tonight there will not be one to share...but they will continue..this i promise.
    smooches
    even through the darkest of nights, a single ray of light can be found, for it is through trials and tribulations, we gain strength and wisdom as well as a new found appreciation for the beautiful moments, hand in hand we shall walk this earth, not seeing through each other, but seeing each other through ...
    *smooches!!!* love ...










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  3. #23
    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt
    even through the darkest of nights, a single ray of light can be found, for it is through trials and tribulations, we gain strength and wisdom as well as a new found appreciation for the beautiful moments, hand in hand we shall walk this earth, not seeing through each other, but seeing each other through ...
    *smooches!!!* love ...
    when the sky is darkest that is when the stars are the brightest...you are so right doll...that is why i posted the poem i wrote for my daughter...she will always be my brightest star.
    smooches



  4. #24
    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angy
    Can I join you to watch the sunset hunny ... that time when the world seems to be betwixt and between is magical especially when you can share ... may angels watch over you when you dream
    i would be honored if you joined me to watch the sunset sweet lady...it is a very magical time of day...and since it is not mine to give i would consider it an honor to share...thank you angy and may the angels always light your path. hugs



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    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angy
    That was beautiful Ken, the pictures that you draw seem so vivid ... I can picture it in my mind's eye ... thank you when you write that book you can include me in the list of people who want a copy
    awww angy you are too kind...thank you for your kind words...i am just glad that my words paint the picture that your mind's eye can see...as far as writting a book well that was just afleeting thought...but if i ever do i will be sure to send you a free copy



  6. #26
    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    as another day in my simple but complicated life comes to a close...i shut my eyes and look inside my head to slow my mind and thoughts...i begin to see a world that few will ever understand...as i try to slow the movie down it can sometimes start out blurred and jumbled..but some how i am allowed to glanceit this world i see and get a real feel for it..after all i have lived it at one time or another...i see myself walking along an empty beach....the waves hiting the shore rolling over onto themselves..as one leaves to return to the wateranother comesin and rollsover the one leaving....i look skyward and i see a remarkable sunset..the soft pinks...the bold reds...the deep voilets..all reflecting onto th rolling water...i see a lone gull riding the air current....he appears motionless the sky continues to darken...as the sun sinks into its home for the night...i see a woman holding a small child in her arms high above the one cloud...she seems to be trying to speak to me but i do not hear her words...she jesters to me to close my eyes and rest...i have seen this woman before...i can not place where...why is she above the cloud...questions that may never get answered...i see a strange glow emitting all around her...a deep calm comes over me..my mind slows...she takes me to that other world where my mind rests...if only for a moment



  7. #27
    Senior Member Angy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill
    as another day in my simple but complicated life comes to a close...i shut my eyes and look inside my head to slow my mind and thoughts...i begin to see a world that few will ever understand...as i try to slow the movie down it can sometimes start out blurred and jumbled..but some how i am allowed to glanceit this world i see and get a real feel for it..after all i have lived it at one time or another...i see myself walking along an empty beach....the waves hiting the shore rolling over onto themselves..as one leaves to return to the wateranother comesin and rollsover the one leaving....i look skyward and i see a remarkable sunset..the soft pinks...the bold reds...the deep voilets..all reflecting onto th rolling water...i see a lone gull riding the air current....he appears motionless the sky continues to darken...as the sun sinks into its home for the night...i see a woman holding a small child in her arms high above the one cloud...she seems to be trying to speak to me but i do not hear her words...she jesters to me to close my eyes and rest...i have seen this woman before...i can not place where...why is she above the cloud...questions that may never get answered...i see a strange glow emitting all around her...a deep calm comes over me..my mind slows...she takes me to that other world where my mind rests...if only for a moment

    that is beautiful Ken ... may angels watch over you while you sleep

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    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angy
    that is beautiful Ken ... may angels watch over you while you sleep
    thank you angy for your kind words once again...i am glad that you enjoy these little visions that appear to relieve the stress of my everyday life..may angels always be with you sweet lady
    hugs sweety



  9. #29
    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    today draws to a close in the most stressful of times...my words have not be smart all day...plans made in my head have not been fulfilled...when will i realize that i am not in control of this outside world...when will i open my mouth more than to just insert a foot...i have made many mistakes today...but i know that there was some time spent that i will always be grateful for....when i was allowed to just be me...laugh at just being silly...like a child once more...then reality sets in and i realize that my words could hurt and not mean to...i am so beside myself that i may have hurt those closest to me...i can only pray to my God that the hearts i have hurt can forgive me...i try to understand a world that i feel i do not belong...the tears that i may have caused sink deep into my soul as i try to apologize...will i be given that second chance to make things right or have i hurt their heart so bad that they can not give me that chance...my tears flow freely as i try to find my words all jumbled inside of my head like like lottery numbers in the machine...twirling and spinning out of control...will the angel appear tonight to allow my mind to rest or is this her way of saying tonight you will ponder your mistakes and think hard what i have done to another human soul...i guess time will tell...tonight i ponder on a day that does not truly close



  10. #30
    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill
    today draws to a close in the most stressful of times...my words have not be smart all day...plans made in my head have not been fulfilled...when will i realize that i am not in control of this outside world...when will i open my mouth more than to just insert a foot...i have made many mistakes today...but i know that there was some time spent that i will always be grateful for....when i was allowed to just be me...laugh at just being silly...like a child once more...then reality sets in and i realize that my words could hurt and not mean to...i am so beside myself that i may have hurt those closest to me...i can only pray to my God that the hearts i have hurt can forgive me...i try to understand a world that i feel i do not belong...the tears that i may have caused sink deep into my soul as i try to apologize...will i be given that second chance to make things right or have i hurt their heart so bad that they can not give me that chance...my tears flow freely as i try to find my words all jumbled inside of my head like like lottery numbers in the machine...twirling and spinning out of control...will the angel appear tonight to allow my mind to rest or is this her way of saying tonight you will ponder your mistakes and think hard what i have done to another human soul...i guess time will tell...tonight i ponder on a day that does not truly close
    well it appears my mind will not slow enough to give me rest..so here i am once more...trying to find comfort in a mind that is racing out of control...i see the events of the day repeating themselves like a bad commercial on the television...is what i am seeing the truth or some force that is trying to invade my serenity...sometimes things are not as they first appear but then what appears to be seen as an invading force is shown to be truths...is what i see the reality of such a world that would decieve even the keenest of minds or is it that my mind has been so programmed to want to not see the obvious...when the mind and heart are on a different page...this is when i become the most confused...i reckon that one day i will find that perfect place where the heart and mind will meet on the same page... i see the artists brush stroking the canvas but no picture appears...there are no brilliant colors left behind after the brush leaves the canvas...only the dull gray color of the canvas itself...a figure appears in front of me ...no face does it have ...i ask where are all those colors that i once seen?...who has stolen them from my mind?...there is no voice...no jesture...just a blank faceless figure appearing before me...as if some force has wiped the canvas clean...like chalk on a blackboard...it only remains as long as it is allowed to stay...i guess my time here has reached its final stages and the colors no longer vibrant ...have now become shades of gray... will the artist who put these colors to the canvas be able to revitalize them or are they gone forever...perhaps the artist has wished for them to be erased from a memory that was once so full of thought and recollection of what was once young and free....has now become captive to its own demise of a time spent in the dark...they say time heals all wounds but what heals the scars...they are a constant reminder of what once was...why wont my mind slow to give me rest...what is the lesson that i am being taught... i ask the faceless figure to give me answers...it just remains steadfast in its place... i look skyward for a single star...any sign of light...my eyes strain against the darkness and away off in the far distance i see a tiny speck slowly twinkling... i smile and the faceless figure slowly fades into the darkness...



  11. #31
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    a clean slate, forgiveness asked for and given, real love is unconditional, it forgives all, a ray of light, a beacon of hope, telling you that tomorrow is another day, a chance to try again ...










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  12. #32
    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt
    a clean slate, forgiveness asked for and given, real love is unconditional, it forgives all, a ray of light, a beacon of hope, telling you that tomorrow is another day, a chance to try again ...
    i have done all that i can...there is nothing more i can do...now i wait...to see the slate wipe clean or marked forever by my words...but i have let it go and placed the the next step in their hands....i have reached out with a sorrowful heart...and they know my lips do not lie...so i shall see.
    smooches



  13. #33
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill
    i have done all that i can...there is nothing more i can do...now i wait...to see the slate wipe clean or marked forever by my words...but i have let it go and placed the the next step in their hands....i have reached out with a sorrowful heart...and they know my lips do not lie...so i shall see.
    smooches
    I'm reminded of that story about the nails in the fence, sometimes the damage our words do can't be undone, you've tried to make it right, that's more than alot of folks would do, I have faith that your slate will be wiped clean ... *smooches!!!*










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

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    Jokeroo Enthusiast roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt
    I'm reminded of that story about the nails in the fence, sometimes the damage our words do can't be undone, you've tried to make it right, that's more than alot of folks would do, I have faith that your slate will be wiped clean ... *smooches!!!*
    sometimes i just wish i was better with understanding the meaning of words...lol...i know that i use them the wrong way and i am very open about this...your are so right....words cut deeper than a two-edged sword...:o thanks
    smooches and hugs



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    I have seen the morning burnin' golden on the mountain in the sky
    Achin'with the feeling of the freedom of an eagle when she flies
    Turnin' on the world the way she smiled upon my soul as I lay dying
    Healing as the colors in the sunhine was the shadows in her eyes
    Wakin' in the morning to the feeling of her feathers on my skin
    Wipin' out the traces of the people and the places that I've been
    Teaching me that yesterday was something that I never thought of trying
    Talkin of tomorrow and the money, love and time we had to spend
    Lovin her was easier than anything I'll ever do again

    Coming close together with a feeling that I've never known before in my time
    She ain't ashamed to be a woman or afraid to be a friend
    I don't know the answer to the easy way she opened every door in my mind
    But dreamin' was as easy as believing it was never gonna end
    And lovin' her was easier than anything I'll ever do again



  16. #36
    Jokeroo VIP Status sexysadie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill
    I have seen the morning burnin' golden on the mountain in the sky
    Achin'with the feeling of the freedom of an eagle when she flies
    Turnin' on the world the way she smiled upon my soul as I lay dying
    Healing as the colors in the sunhine was the shadows in her eyes
    Wakin' in the morning to the feeling of her feathers on my skin
    Wipin' out the traces of the people and the places that I've been
    Teaching me that yesterday was something that I never thought of trying
    Talkin of tomorrow and the money, love and time we had to spend
    Lovin her was easier than anything I'll ever do again

    Coming close together with a feeling that I've never known before in my time
    She ain't ashamed to be a woman or afraid to be a friend
    I don't know the answer to the easy way she opened every door in my mind
    But dreamin' was as easy as believing it was never gonna end
    And lovin' her was easier than anything I'll ever do again

    I love that song sweety. The words have so much meaning don't they..they're so lovely, thank you for sharing this...sing it to me Ken...hugs...











  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by sexysadie
    I love that song sweety. The words have so much meaning don't they..they're so lovely, thank you for sharing this...sing it to me Ken...hugs...
    thank you sexysadie...i to love the song...it holds a special place in my heart...my angel has allowed me to see things in a different light...a gift from above that was given to me...the beauty that i see is unseen by others...for this i am always grateful....i would love nothing better than to sing this to you...huggs



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    the day comes to a close once more..tonight a picture of a family member takes the opening scene...i see you laying in your room crying...i feel the pain in my own heart...your eyes swollen from the tears that you have shed...the scars on your heart i share in my own...as i try to understand the reasons why you have been so hurt...i ask God to send you an angel to watch over you...and to protect you from the beast...i asked Him to dry your eyes and allow you to rest...if need be to put your pain onto myself..you are to young to have to deal with that beast...i have dealt with him all my life...i know how he thinks...i know the lies he tells...i know all his tricks...somehow i feel the fault is my own and i cry out to you...take my hand little one...feel my touch as i palm the hair from your brow...i am wiping the tears away with my thumbs...your pain fuels my anger...i know that anger is not the solution and i will allow you deal in your own way...just know i am as close as your mind allows...know i am always there for you...close your eyes little one...see what i see...feel what i feel...smell what i smell...as you close your eyes see the dark sky...look towards the heavens...see all those stars...pick one and concentrate on it...make your wish little one...that is your star...see the moon begin to appear...look for its smile as the man in the moon looks at you...see the fireflies flickering their tails...like a lighthouse on the shore...see the storm clouds begin to disappear....the seas begining to calm...see your angel coming down from the heavens to wrap you in her feathery wings of love and comfort....feel how soft and warm she feels...see your eyes begin to dry...your sobs turning to sighs...listen as she tells you that your tears have cleansed you soul...hear her voice little one...hear the sweet music she sings...let it touch your heart and soul...feel the warm glow of her touch as your mind begins to rest...your pain subsides...allowing you to travel to that realm known as the land of sweet dreams...shhhh rest now and know that tomorrow is a new day little one....shhhhh be still in your mind...sweet dreams little one....shhhhhh



  19. #39
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    soooooooooooooooooo beautiful love! *smooches!!!*










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  20. #40
    Senior Member Angy's Avatar
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    That is beautiful RK ... and sooo true

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