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Thread: THE COLORS IN MY WORLD (each day i will add a new one)

  1. #61
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt
    maybe he's an angel, sent here from heaven to see if you're doing your part ... love, you'll pass that test ... simply beautiful ... *smooches!!!*
    i will know when the time is right i guess doll...



  2. #62
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    this cold i have is keeping me awake...so i will write what my mind sees...there is a cold wind coming out of the north...with it the first snows of the year...this is what my eyes see...now lets see what my mind sees

    closing my eyes i see a small log cabin...i remember building this with a friend...we trapped the land that winter...it was another turning point in my life...i learned to respect the land and all its creatures...the snow was falling heavy this day...and the traps needed checked on...my friend feeling under the weather asked if i would check them on my own...of course i told him i would...taking a small lunch in my pack i set out on my own in snowshoes...the temperature was about -20c...for that time of year it was actually pleasant it was mid-december...two weeks before Christmas and the first drop off of the furs...we had planned on remaining on the line until the 22nd of december...spending the holiday with family and then returning to the cabin on the 27th...as i set out the snow and wind picked up..it was getting harder and harder to see...soon the snow was falling so hard my footprints were being filled in...i found a cedar swamp and decided to wait it out a bit to see if the snow would let up(to be continued)



  3. #63
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... you can keep that snow lol *waiting in sweet anticipation! I'm sorry to hear you're sick love, I'll pray that cold goes away*










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
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    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  4. #64
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill
    this cold i have is keeping me awake...so i will write what my mind sees...there is a cold wind coming out of the north...with it the first snows of the year...this is what my eyes see...now lets see what my mind sees

    closing my eyes i see a small log cabin...i remember building this with a friend...we trapped the land that winter...it was another turning point in my life...i learned to respect the land and all its creatures...the snow was falling heavy this day...and the traps needed checked on...my friend feeling under the weather asked if i would check them on my own...of course i told him i would...taking a small lunch in my pack i set out on my own in snowshoes...the temperature was about -20c...for that time of year it was actually pleasant...it was mid-december...two weeks before Christmas and the first drop off of the furs...we had planned on remaining on the line until the 22nd of december...spending the holiday with family and then returning to the cabin on the 27th...as i set out the snow and wind picked up..it was getting harder and harder to see...soon the snow was falling so hard my footprints were being filled in...i found a cedar swamp and decided to wait it out a bit to see if the snow would let up(to be continued)
    huddled in amongst the cedars...i am out of the wind...i feel i have been walking for hours...i look at my pocket watch and see that i have been on the trail only an hour...i normally walk 3mph so with all this new snow and in snowshoes i estimate i am about 1 1/2 miles from the cabin...meaning i have another 12 1/2 miles left to walk to make the complete circle and get all the traps checked and reset...i need to see the landmarks that i use to be able to make the trek safely...i consider turning back...but a promise was made to my friend that i would get the job done...i leave the comfort of the cedars and make my way to the first trap...covered in snow i find the trap empty and unchanged..so i leave and head down the trail to look for the second one...the snow is getting heavier and deeper with every few feet i travel...walking through an old cut there is very little shelter from the weather...even with the snowshoes i am sinking to my knees...my legs are begining to burn as the lactic acid builds up...i begin to realize that i need to find shelter and quickly...i am never going to get this job done in this weather...my need to survive kicks in...i make it across the open field and into the dense forest...i remove one of the snow shoes and use it as a shovel to dig a fire pit...i break off some dry twigs from an old spruce tree and peel off some birch bark as fire starter...i knock off the snow from an over hanging balsam branch so it doesn't melt and put out my fire....gathering enough dry wood for a few hours i sit back and watch the fire as it warms me...with the snow and wind not letting up i knew i was in trouble when the light of day began to fade...it was either bunker down for the night or attempt to make my way blindly back to the cabin...my instincts took over and i settled in for a long cold night..i knew if my friend was worried enough he would attempt to find me..so i arose and tied some trail tape to a tree at the edge of the clearing where i was hunkered down...i began to pray that my friend would know that what he had taught me had sunk into my skull and he would stay put in the warm cabin...knowing that i would do my best to survive the night in the storm...i ate a small portion of the lunch i had packed ..saving enough for breakfast the next morning...i took the tea pail from my pack and filled it with snow..adding more as it began to melt from the fire..soon i had a hot pot of tea...this seemed to comfort me and i became relaxed enough to realize that if i didn't panic i would be fine...i gathered more wood...some dry and some green...this would keep the fire going longer and create a smoke for anyone looking for me...i took out a small tarp from my survival pack and made a leantoo with it...this allowed the heat from the fire to circulate around me...i was begining to actually enjoy being out there by myself...i was comfortable and had hot tea...some time during the night i drifted off to sleep...this is when it happened...i dreamt that i was back in the days of old...there was a native village where women and children and the men of the camp went about their daily routines...i heard the chants of their songs as they sang...then i seen my friends face...he looked worried and i told him i was alright and to stay put..i know it was only a dream...as the fire died down i awoke to the coldness...i put more wood on and warmed up quickly...i looked at my pocket watch and the time was 4am...the snow had stopped and the wind had died...i looked skyward and seen the most stars that i had ever seen at one time..it was so beautiful..words cannot describe their beauty...i was at peace with myself knowing that i had done everything right..i boiled some more tea and waited for the sun to lighten the sky....when daylight came a put on the snowshoes and put out the fire...i ate the rest of my food and made my way out to the clearing...i removed the trail tape from the tree and headed back to camp...upon arriving at the cabin i removed my snowshoes and went inside...my friend hugged me and gave me a warm cup of coffee...as we sat talking of what had happened he apologized for sending me on my own...i told him that it was not his doing and that i was being taught something...i told him of my dream...he said he had the exact same dream when he was going to look for me..i asked him if you were going to look for me then how was it a dream to you...this is when he told me that dreams come in many forms..you can have them when wide awake...he heard me tell him that i was okay and to stay put...this is when i told him of this gift i have been given and had it since early childhood...my grand father used to help me understand them but when he passed away there was no one i could turn to...i told him of how angry i had become and how i tried to avoid them by becoming someone that i didn't like very much...but that i had entered a program to get clean...then he told me his story and about his demons that he battled...he understood where i had been and where i wanted to be...with his guidence i began to accept the things i see and not run from them...we made it back to our families for the holiday and we did return to finish that winter in that small cabin and on the trap line...it was a special time of growing for me...he taught me much of what it means to be native...although my skin maybe white..i have the gifts from the Grandfathers...he calls me his white indian child...my friend is now in his late sixties and is blind from diabetes...however his sight for the things unseen by many is 20/20...he still helps me to grow in the old ways
    Last edited by roadkill; 10-13-2006 at 04:26 AM.



  5. #65
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    I'm looking forward to coming back to your colors love!!!










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  6. #66
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt
    I'm looking forward to coming back to your colors love!!!
    i am looking forward to sharing them



  7. #67
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    Default To: Roadkill

    Your story was good medicine my friend. I have done a wheel and my guides, North, East, South and West are now always with me, and their living brothers appear to me during the day to provide warnings or inspiration. Many times I have looked into the sky as I drive along and see brother Hawk keeping pace with me in the sky. The old ways are the best! And we of the white eyes can benefit from your peoples' wisdom.

  8. #68
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    Default Adoption # 6

    I am driving North on Rt 13 near Pocomoke, MD after a hard day, selling on the road. I am doing 65 MPH and 18 wheelers are passing me as if I am sitting still. I see a flash of brown fur in the median. A German Shepherd is trapped between the high speed lanes and running in panic back and forth. I pull on the the grass and skid to a halt. As I step from my company van she spots me and shys away. I have several dog biscuits in my hand as I call softly to her and squat down low to appear non-threatening. The starving, skinny, dehydrated dog with brittle fur sees the food and drops on her belly. With hind legs spread out behind her, she pulls her self to me, with her forepaws, trembling, to get the food. I reach my belt buckle and remove it to make a loop, and gently slip it over her head as she eats. Then the moment of truth....will she attack me in fear as I slowly rise to lead her to the van? She follows me obediantly as I talk softly to her and praise her for being a good girl! I make a five mile loop, to check at the houses along the highway to see if anybody owns her. She has been seen in the area for a week, but no one knows where she belongs, nor did they give her food or water as they don't want a strange dog "hanging around". My situation at home is not good. I have 5 adopted dogs and a fed up wife, so I stop at the county animal control shelter. Not a car on the parking lot! They are closed for the day. Taking this as a sign from above, I take her home. On my arrival my wife snarls at me as she sees my "passenger". I assure her I am only keeping the dog long enough to fatten her up and get her adoptable. Peace descends on the household as the other dogs greet her in a friendly manner. I take her to the vet the next day to get her shots and tests as I don't want problems with my gang of pups. She weighs in at 45 lbs. when she should be at 70 lbs. She is so impacted with bone and fur from eating road kill that they can't even test her for worms. Also she is about six weeks pregnant. I tell the vet, I cannot handle any more dogs and beg him to give her a "hysterectomy". He charges me double the usual rate and the deed is done. $350 later...I bring her home. When my wife sees the bill, she askes, "What is the name of our new dog?" LOL. I tell her I am naming her Somerset for the county in which I found her. Never to be abandoned or "dumped" again, years later she will not go out in the rain unless I stand in the yard with her, to assure her she can get back in the house. Nor does she miss a meal as she now weighs close to 85 lbs. The wife is gone, but the dogs are still here and frankly, they are better company and much more loyal!

  9. #69
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tongues_r4_fun
    Your story was good medicine my friend. I have done a wheel and my guides, North, East, South and West are now always with me, and their living brothers appear to me during the day to provide warnings or inspiration. Many times I have looked into the sky as I drive along and see brother Hawk keeping pace with me in the sky. The old ways are the best! And we of the white eyes can benefit from your peoples' wisdom.
    thank you tongues for your reply and talking the time to read this thread...to me this is medicine...i use my writtings to slow my mind down to the point where i can rest...really cant explain it here...but i believe the old ways and my Creator as i know him have got me to where i am today...thanks again my friend and that is a wonderful thing you have done for those animals as we are their protectors and must respect them...that winter on my friends trap line taught me much



  10. #70
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill View Post
    huddled in amongst the cedars...i am out of the wind...i feel i have been walking for hours...i look at my pocket watch and see that i have been on the trail only an hour...i normally walk 3mph so with all this new snow and in snowshoes i estimate i am about 1 1/2 miles from the cabin...meaning i have another 12 1/2 miles left to walk to make the complete circle and get all the traps checked and reset...i need to see the landmarks that i use to be able to make the trek safely...i consider turning back...but a promise was made to my friend that i would get the job done...i leave the comfort of the cedars and make my way to the first trap...covered in snow i find the trap empty and unchanged..so i leave and head down the trail to look for the second one...the snow is getting heavier and deeper with every few feet i travel...walking through an old cut there is very little shelter from the weather...even with the snowshoes i am sinking to my knees...my legs are begining to burn as the lactic acid builds up...i begin to realize that i need to find shelter and quickly...i am never going to get this job done in this weather...my need to survive kicks in...i make it across the open field and into the dense forest...i remove one of the snow shoes and use it as a shovel to dig a fire pit...i break off some dry twigs from an old spruce tree and peel off some birch bark as fire starter...i knock off the snow from an over hanging balsam branch so it doesn't melt and put out my fire....gathering enough dry wood for a few hours i sit back and watch the fire as it warms me...with the snow and wind not letting up i knew i was in trouble when the light of day began to fade...it was either bunker down for the night or attempt to make my way blindly back to the cabin...my instincts took over and i settled in for a long cold night..i knew if my friend was worried enough he would attempt to find me..so i arose and tied some trail tape to a tree at the edge of the clearing where i was hunkered down...i began to pray that my friend would know that what he had taught me had sunk into my skull and he would stay put in the warm cabin...knowing that i would do my best to survive the night in the storm...i ate a small portion of the lunch i had packed ..saving enough for breakfast the next morning...i took the tea pail from my pack and filled it with snow..adding more as it began to melt from the fire..soon i had a hot pot of tea...this seemed to comfort me and i became relaxed enough to realize that if i didn't panic i would be fine...i gathered more wood...some dry and some green...this would keep the fire going longer and create a smoke for anyone looking for me...i took out a small tarp from my survival pack and made a leantoo with it...this allowed the heat from the fire to circulate around me...i was begining to actually enjoy being out there by myself...i was comfortable and had hot tea...some time during the night i drifted off to sleep...this is when it happened...i dreamt that i was back in the days of old...there was a native village where women and children and the men of the camp went about their daily routines...i heard the chants of their songs as they sang...then i seen my friends face...he looked worried and i told him i was alright and to stay put..i know it was only a dream...as the fire died down i awoke to the coldness...i put more wood on and warmed up quickly...i looked at my pocket watch and the time was 4am...the snow had stopped and the wind had died...i looked skyward and seen the most stars that i had ever seen at one time..it was so beautiful..words cannot describe their beauty...i was at peace with myself knowing that i had done everything right..i boiled some more tea and waited for the sun to lighten the sky....when daylight came a put on the snowshoes and put out the fire...i ate the rest of my food and made my way out to the clearing...i removed the trail tape from the tree and headed back to camp...upon arriving at the cabin i removed my snowshoes and went inside...my friend hugged me and gave me a warm cup of coffee...as we sat talking of what had happened he apologized for sending me on my own...i told him that it was not his doing and that i was being taught something...i told him of my dream...he said he had the exact same dream when he was going to look for me..i asked him if you were going to look for me then how was it a dream to you...this is when he told me that dreams come in many forms..you can have them when wide awake...he heard me tell him that i was okay and to stay put...this is when i told him of this gift i have been given and had it since early childhood...my grand father used to help me understand them but when he passed away there was no one i could turn to...i told him of how angry i had become and how i tried to avoid them by becoming someone that i didn't like very much...but that i had entered a program to get clean...then he told me his story and about his demons that he battled...he understood where i had been and where i wanted to be...with his guidence i began to accept the things i see and not run from them...we made it back to our families for the holiday and we did return to finish that winter in that small cabin and on the trap line...it was a special time of growing for me...he taught me much of what it means to be native...although my skin maybe white..i have the gifts from the Grandfathers...he calls me his white indian child...my friend is now in his late sixties and is blind from diabetes...however his sight for the things unseen by many is 20/20...he still helps me to grow in the old ways
    tonight as i try to slow down my mind i am reminded of the time on the trap line when things were going well...the day time temperature broke above -30 c....the sun was almost warm...the suns rays reflected off the pure white snow giving the snow a blue tint...the pines trees were blanketed with snow..the sky was i very light pastel blue...without a single cloud...the scenery looked like a picture you would see on a puzzle...my friend and i started the day as usual...i warm fire and a hot breakfast with a pot of strong coffee...



  11. #71
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill View Post
    tonight as i try to slow down my mind i am reminded of the time on the trap line when things were going well...the day time temperature broke above -30 c....the sun was almost warm...the suns rays reflected off the pure white snow giving the snow a blue tint...the pines trees were blanketed with snow..the sky was i very light pastel blue...without a single cloud...the scenery looked like a picture you would see on a puzzle...my friend and i started the day as usual...i warm fire and a hot breakfast with a pot of strong coffee...
    after we ate and the place cleaned up we headed out into the day...the snow had stiffened up overnight and it made for easy snowshoeing...the crunch of the snow as we ventured along told me that it had gotten quite cold during the night...there was fresh moose tracks down the middle of the trail...my friend decided that if we were going to spen the whole winter out here then meat was a necessity...we began to follow the tracks where they led...after an hour of tracking this moose my friend knew exactlty where it ws headed...he told me to continue to follow the tracks while he would circle around and get ahead of the moose...it was a gorgeous day to be out amongst nature...as i walked i thought about my life up to this point and all the mistakes i had made and all the people i hurt...i began to feel a calm come over me as i took inventory of my life...i thought of my parents and what i had put them through...i heard a shot ring out and echo through the hills...i knew my friend had had been provided the winter's meat...you see i believe that animals give their life so that we as humans can live...and there is a great deal of respect for them....i caught up to my friend and we began to prepare the meat for travel back to the camp...it was going to take many trips and it was getting late into the day...the sun was already starting its journey to where it sleeps...my friend had decided that it was a good idea to stay out here with the moose for the night so that we could keep it from the other predators...there where many wolves around and the ravens would take what the wolves didn't...so we made camp and settled in for another cold night on the trail...this time i was not alone and felt this would be a good time....
    Last edited by roadkill; 10-20-2006 at 08:06 AM.



  12. #72
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    tonight as i try to slow down my mind i am reminded of the time on the trap line when things were going well...the day time temperature broke above -30 c....the sun was almost warm...the suns rays reflected off the pure white snow giving the snow a blue tint...the pines trees were blanketed with snow..the sky was i very light pastel blue...without a single cloud...the scenery looked like a picture you would see on a puzzle...my friend and i started the day as usual...a warm fire and a hot breakfast with a pot of strong coffee...

    after we ate and the place cleaned up we headed out into the day...the snow had stiffened up overnight and it made for easy snowshoeing...the crunch of the snow as we ventured along told me that it had gotten quite cold during the night...there was fresh moose tracks down the middle of the trail...my friend decided that if we were going to spen the whole winter out here then meat was a necessity...we began to follow the tracks where they led...after an hour of tracking this moose my friend knew exactlty where it ws headed...he told me to continue to follow the tracks while he would circle around and get ahead of the moose...it was a gorgeous day to be out amongst nature...as i walked i thought about my life up to this point and all the mistakes i had made and all the people i hurt...i began to feel a calm come over me as i took inventory of my life...i thought of my parents and what i had put them through...i heard a shot ring out and echo through the hills...i knew my friend had had been provided the winter's meat...you see i believe that animals give their life so that we as humans can live...and there is a great deal of respect for them....i caught up to my friend and we began to prepare the meat for travel back to the camp...it was going to take many trips and it was getting late into the day...the sun was already starting its journey to where it sleeps...my friend had decided that it was a good idea to stay out here with the moose for the night so that we could keep it from the other predators...there where many wolves around and the ravens would take what the wolves didn't...so we made camp and settled in for another cold night on the trail...this time i was not alone and felt this would be a good time....well i was once again amazed at the power of nature....well into the night the temperature dropped to -50c with a strong north wind...the wind cut through us like a hot knife through butter...no matter we tried to get warm it just wasn't going to happen...this is when i did something i never thought i would have....my friend told me that we would have to stay warm if we were going to survive the night...that is when he said that we must crawl into the body cavity of the moose...we turned the moose so that the opening was facing south...i was astounded by the warmth that this animal still had...we both crawled inside..him first then me...the high winds had been blowing the snow all around us and soon we were in a cave like environment...our body heat and the heat from the moose had made it quiet comfortable...although i never slept that night i had learned another valuable lesson on how my environment can change so fast...and i can apply this lesson in my life now as things i have no control over can come crashing down on me and cause me anxiety....when things like this happen i think back to all the trials and lessons i was taught that winter...the storms of life will come and will pass and i will survive them.:exclamati



  13. #73
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    I think I would die first lol I see you've not lost your touch for the written word love ... *smooches!!!*










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  14. #74
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    I think I would die first lol I see you've not lost your touch for the written word love ... *smooches!!!*
    i thank you luv and welcome back...smooches



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    another day is coming to a close...i close my eyes briefly to slow down the pictures in my head...as my mind begins to slow i am reminded that time spent with friends and family is very important to me...as the pictures slow to a point where i can see one clearly i see a star filled sky...there is a large field surronded by tall pines and hardwoods...i hear an owl off in the distance...i am laying in this field watching the sky when i see a figure appear walking slowly towards me...without raising my head...my eyes follow this figure...a thought runs through my mind as to who or what is this figure...as it gets closer i see it is a figure i have seen many times as i sleep...she looks like an angel but no wings i see...her face shines yet i see no halo...she comes and lays down beside me and comforts me...her soft touch on my skin soothes my soul as she softly strokes my brow..she sings a song that i cant translate...such a magnificent tone to her vocal range...as we lay there in the open field she waves her hands over my eyes and they close...beckoning me into the other realm where my mind rests...at least for the moment



  16. #76
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    singing a lullaby, a song of the ages, sung to her by her mother and she by her mother and she by her mother ... such beautiful colors love!










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  17. #77
    Senior Member roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    singing a lullaby, a song of the ages, sung to her by her mother and she by her mother and she by her mother ... such beautiful colors love!
    thanks doll for your continued support...i wish i could express what is in my heart to a certain someone the way i see these pictures in my mind...perhaps one day the words will find their way to my writting



  18. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadkill View Post
    thanks doll for your continued support...i wish i could express what is in my heart to a certain someone the way i see these pictures in my mind...perhaps one day the words will find their way to my writting
    maybe you need to find a way to get your mind to translate for your heart, turn those feelings into pictures, then describe what you see, just as you've been doing here, when the time is right, the words you need will come, just what you need, just when you need it, the Lord's funny that way, you'll have my support for all of our days love, that's my promise to you










    Love many things, for therein lies the true strength
    and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much
    and what is done in love is done well ♥

  19. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirt View Post
    maybe you need to find a way to get your mind to translate for your heart, turn those feelings into pictures, then describe what you see, just as you've been doing here, when the time is right, the words you need will come, just what you need, just when you need it, the Lord's funny that way, you'll have my support for all of our days love, that's my promise to you
    lol...i cant seem to get my heart and mind on the same page...lol...i tell her how i feel but i cant seem to find words that express my heart the way she deserves...i think you are right though...when i need them they will come to my tongue....i have painted her many pictures from my mind but somehow i feel that the pictures dont do her justice...well enough of this sappyiness...love can be so complicated...and i dont do complicated well...i like to keep it simple...but when it comes to this wonderful lady...i get all confused...i am actually afraid that i may use a word the wrong way..it has been known to happen a time or two...lmao...ok i have gone on long enough here...you will always have my support too doll...smooches



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