- Jun 30, 2019
Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little gravy, mashed taters, black eyed peas. "cough-cough" Past the cheeks past the gums, lookout stomach here it comes. Three blind mice, three blind mice, off to collect a welfare check, endorsed it, who do they think they are foolin'? Ahem! I knew an old boy of the age of 93, he said he lived a nice long life, I asked whats your secret to longevity? He replied cut out wine, women, fatty foods, fooling around and having fun. I thought to my self, cut all that out? Well sir, then whats the point of living? I once knew an extremely ugly couple, but I thought to myself, beauty is only skin deep, and they got married and have the perfect life, good for them, well sir, one day their dog was licking everything in sight so lil' rover came across their wedding photo, he licked it, and promptly died. Oh dog-gone, dog-gone! One day I rubbed some spot remover on my dalmation, now he's gone. Three dudes walking in the desert, a Scottsman, a English man, and an Irish man, English man to the Irish man, why are you carring that jug o' water? Irish man replies, to drink it when I get thirsty. Irish man to English man, why are you carrying that bag o' food? English man snootily replies, to eat it when I get hungry. English and Irish men to the Scotty, Hey dingus, why are you hauling that car door man? Scotty replies, to roll down the window in case it get hot out here.