British humour

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
247,524
Likes
2,679
#1
British humour as it used to be: Absolutely politically incorrect.
..........................................................................................................................................................
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons
on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds
from running.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police
think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since
all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
============================================
During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
=============================================
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.
=============================================
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
=============================================
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
=============================================
An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of
her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a
caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a
railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
 

Bamber

Super Moderator
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
42,346
Likes
1,533
#4
This is Roy Larner. He received 8 knife wounds stopping the London Bridge terrorists entering a bar. His friends visited him in hospital and brought him a little light reading...

 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
180,880
Likes
2,716
#5
[QUOTE="Bamber, post: 5048557]This is Roy Larner. He received 8 knife wounds stopping the London Bridge terrorists entering a bar. His friends visited him in hospital and brought him a little light reading...

[/QUOTE]

Love this one.