Confucius says:

mytime

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
3,054
Likes
7
#41
Confucius Say
Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea how she'll be in bed.
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
773,297
Likes
33,789
#44
[QUOTE="mytime, post: 4111706]Squirt - Did you miss your previous post?:duh::sarcasm2:[/QUOTE]

lmao ... apparently so! lol :oops:
I'm working again, after being off work for over 6 years, I'm chalking it up to being tired lol
that's my story and I'm stickin' to it lol :hide:
:blowkiss:
 

mytime

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
3,054
Likes
7
#45
Confucius Say...
Grease monkey who go to bed without bathing wake up oily in the morning.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Don't eat the snow where the huskies go!
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
Man who sit on tack get point!
Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!
 

mytime

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
3,054
Likes
7
#46
Confucius Say...
Man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam.
Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk
Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete's tongue!
Man who live in glass house should not throw parties!
Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers!
When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some people just don't have film!
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
 

mytime

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
3,054
Likes
7
#47
Confucius Say...
Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing
Hole happy, whole body happy.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Elevator smell different to midget.
Work to become, not to acquire.
Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
 

mytime

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
3,054
Likes
7
#51
What Confucius Did Not Say

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

and

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
773,297
Likes
33,789
#55
Confucius say: "Woman who lay on spring get off-spring."

A man who puts his penis in a vacuum cleaner, will get sucked off.
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
773,297
Likes
33,789
#57
Confucius Say: Man who mix Viagra and Ex-Lax, doesn't know if he's coming or going.
 
Joined
Oct 18, 2004
Messages
1,449
Likes
8
#58
Confucius Say
To make a long story short, don't tell it.Confucius Say
A Rubix cube is like a penis. The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.

Confucius Say
A Tattoo is permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Confucius Say
The Opera is the only place where a guy gets stabbed and instead of bleeding, he sings.

Confucius Say
A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.

Confucius Say
Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea how she'll be in bed.

Confucius Say
It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.
 

mytime

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
3,054
Likes
7
#59
Confucius says, "Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard."