A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other’s things in your mouth?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!!!!!"
A man named Vinny dies and goes to hell. The Devil says to him "Hey Vinny we've been waitin for ya!". Vinny smiles and walks with the Devil and the Devil says "I gotta ask you a couple questions, do you like to smoke?"
Vinny answers "Ya, I love to smoke."
The Devil says "Good you'll like Mondays we smoke everything cigarettes, cigars, weed everything." "Now do you like to drink?"
Then Vinny says "Of course I love to drink."
The Devil replies "Great we drink everything on Tuesdays you will fit in great." "Do you like to have sex?"
Vinny says "Hell ya sex is the best."
The Devil smiles and replies, "We have sex with every type of woman you could think of on Wednesdays." And the Devil finally says "Now, are you gay?"
Vinny frowns and answers "NO I'm not gay!
And the Devil looks down and finishes "Your gonna hate Thursdays."
Do this test to see if u have a gay streak. Do it quickly and go on your first answer. 1) Think of a country beginning with D. 2) Take the second letter of that country and think of an animal.
3) Think of the colour of that animal.
As long as you weren't thinking of a grey elephant from Denmark, your straight...
2 gays in a car on the M1. A truck shunts them from the back. One ofthe gay passengers jumps out of the car, runs to the truckers door flings it open, hands on hips and shouts at the trucker , "I'm gonna sue your ass," trucker replies," Suck my dick." The gay rushes back to car and says to his friend,"I've settled out of court!!..
MARIJUANA and MARRIAGE In Canada, our government recently passed two laws.
1. Legalized gay marriage
2. Legalized marijuana Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense. Leviticus 20:13 says:"If a man lies with another man they should be stoned." Apparently the churches just hadn't interpreted it correctly for us!
Thanks to our politicians we are now fulfilling God's will.