Gay Jokes

brilor

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Di you hear about the new politically correct name for a lesbian?

It has been changed to Vagitarian
 

brilor

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Two gay men decide to have a baby.
They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.
When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.
Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming.
One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.
A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?'' Pat exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take that dummy tit out of his arse''
 

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Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10', 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!! The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, 'It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a Lesbian!!'
 

brilor

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I noticed my neighbour putting a 'Princess On Board' sign in his car window today.
"Alright, mate?" I said. "I didn't realise you had a daughter."
"We don't," he replied. "Our son came out as gay this morning."
 

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What's the difference between a domestic heating device and a lesbian?

One's a gas heater, the other's a gash eater.
 

brilor

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A girl goes into the doctor's for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we fuck," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we shag," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why?"
 

brilor

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Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians...no nuts or screwing involved, its all tongue & groove!!!