Gay Jokes

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The Michigan senate has passed a bill making anal sex punishable with up to 15 years imprisonment.

What do they think they will be doing in prison?


 

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According to a new study, 99% of women say they don't like men who wear leather trousers.
That actually works out rather well, since 100% of men who wear leather trousers don't like women either.
 

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The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" ...He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night." The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night."
 

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Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the Sperm Bank? He got caught drinking on the job
 

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Four gay men are sitting in a hot tub. Suddenly a blob of cum rises to the surface. One of them says, "Come on, who farted?"
 

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The Sun has moved to deny rumours it is about to reveal the first gay English international footballer.
I think it's disgusting in the 21st century that homosexuals still don't feel comfortable to come out and admit that they play for England.
 

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A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted "He's Behind You..!"
 

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I recently joined my local boxing club and the trainer there suggested that I tried skipping to get fitter. After doing this for an hour, he handed me a rope and said, "Use this. You won't look as gay."
 

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Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest. Cecil ask, "What you doing?"" Rupert said, "I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest. Cecil said, "Don't be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of my arse..."
 

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Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
 

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Elton John went to the tattooist and said,
"I want a Rolls Royce Tattooed on my dick."
The tattooist said, "You'd be better getting a
Land Rover mate, it won't get stuck in the shit."
 

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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

-- The fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out
 

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A Jew and a fag go to heaven.

St. Peter tells the Jew, "We're full, so you can go back, but only if you promise to stop being cheap."

Then he tells the fag the same, but "only if you promise to stop thinking about gay sex."

They go back, but then the Jew sees a penny on the floor, tries to pick it up, and they both die.
 

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Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10', 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!! The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, 'It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a Lesbian!!'
 

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Did you hear about the 2 Irish Gays?

Patrick Fitzgerald & Gerald Fitzpatrick!