Gay Jokes

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What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull meat out.
 

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A lesbian went to Weight Watchers.
The dietician said to her, "You are what you eat."
The lesbian replied, "Are you calling me a cunt?"
 

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Now that India has allowed homosexuality,
the first lesbian couple have got married.
So congratulations to Sukma Flaps and Makemaclit Singh
 

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I CAN'T FUCKIN' BELIEVE IT ...
My local pub "The Greyhound" is under new management and has been turned into a gay bar and renamed "The Whippet Inn". ...
 

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Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10', 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!! The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, 'It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a Lesbian!!'
 

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Two gay men decide to have a baby.

They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially
inseminated with it.

When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.

A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming.

Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the two fathers, she points out the
happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" one gay says to the other.

"All these unhappy babies .... and yet our baby is so happy. This just
proves the superiority of gay love!"

The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what happens when I
pull the thermometer out of his arse!"
 

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The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.
A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind.
The next day, after his sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti Homini, et Tuti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.
The next day a gay rights group approached the Pope. They said that they noticed he blessed Mankind and Womankind, and asked if he could also bless gay people. He said, "Sure."
The next day the Pope concluded his sermon with, "Tuti Homini, et Tuti Femini, et Tuti Fruiti
 

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Elton John went to the Tattooist and said I want a Rolls Royce Tattooed on my cock.
The Tattooist said,"You'd be better off with a Land Rover mate,it won't get stuck in the shit!"
 

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Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10', 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!! The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, 'It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a Lesbian!!'
 

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A Jewish boy came home from college and sat down to have a heart-to-heart talk with his doting mother. "I've got some good news and some bad news," he said. "The bad news is that I'm a homosexual."

"Oh, no!" his mother exclaimed.

"Before you faint," the son continued, "the good news is I'm in love with a doctor."