Groaner thread (please add)

brilor

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A local hairdresser has been robbed.

Police are combing the area.
 

brilor

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When India gained independence in 1947 Ghandi and Nehru decided to hold a marathon race to celebrate..
They invited applications from athletes and received 8 million entries.
Too many they said. They sent another application stipulating that entrants needed to have had a Testicle removed.
They still received 750,000 applications. We'll have to be more strict they decided. Invitations went out and only athletes with NO Testicles were invited to enter.
This time they got only 500 entrants. Great said Nehru, thats more manageable. What shall we call the race.
Ghandi said "What about the India Knackerless 500"
 

brilor

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It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.

The Hedgehog groups, realizing their dire situation, decided to group
together in order to keep warm.

No MATTER which way they tried ....they cowered together and tried to
protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest
companions.

After a while, they decided they had to distance themselves one from the
other.....but they began to die, alone and frozen.

So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions
or disappear (become extinct ) from this Earth.

Wisely, they decided to get back to being close together. They learned to
live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their
companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way
they were able to survive.

The best of relationships is not the one that brings together PERFECT
people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of
others .....and can admire the other person's BEST Qualities.

And....The moral of the Story is..... Just get on and learn to LIVE with
the PRICKS in your life!
 

brilor

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I went to the beach and it was packed. Then I noticed a tall black guy walking among the crowd, selling his African trinkets and carved wood.

I went up to him and asked for his help. "My wife's here somewhere. If you find her I'll give you £500. Just shout loud for her while you walk."

"£500? Okay, what is her name?" He asked.

"It's Ivy," I replied. "Ivy Bowler."

Picked a spot all to myself after that.
 

brilor

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I've just bumped into my little mate in town and he was telling me all these funny stories about the flatbread factory where he works. I love to hear the pitta patter of tiny Pete.