Groaner thread (please add)

brilor

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Have i just seen Michael J Fox at a local garden centre? 🤔
I'm not 100% sure if it was him as he had his back to the fuscia
 
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Dr. Boudreaux from Breaux Bridge A doctor in Louisiana wanted to
get off work and go hunting, so he told his assistant, "Boudreaux, I
am going hunting tomorrow and we don't want to close the clinic. I
want you to take care of the clinic and take care of our patients".
"Yes, sir..." answers Boudreaux.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks: "So
Boudreaux, how was your day?"
Boudreaux tells him he took care of three patients. "The first one
had a headache, so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo Boudreaux! and the second one?" says the doctor.
"The second one had stomach burning, and I gave him MAALOX, sir,"
says Boudreaux.
"Bravo, bravo Boudreaux! You're good at this and what about the
third one?"
asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here, and suddenly the door opens, and a woman
enters like a flame. She undresses herself, taking off her bra and
her panties and lies down on the table, spread her legs and shouts:
"HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!!"
"And what did you do Boudreaux?" asks the doctor.
"Mi Sha . . . I put eye drops in her eyes."
 

stevent222

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A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

“Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”

“What’s the bad news?” asked the hunter.

“The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.”

“Well, I guess that isn’t too bad,” the hunter replied. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?”

“Not exactly,” answered the doctor. “She’s a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye."
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