how can i make him believe?

blondie_kay

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#1
okay i have a question, why do i have to be punished for all his ex's mistakes?! i am nothing like them!! they have all cheated on him with their ex's i haven't had any ex's and i wouldn't cheat on him, i love him, i think cheating is low and i wasn't brought up to do stuff like that. he always questions me and i don't do anything to be questioned about, i always tell him the truth and i have been completely honest from the very first time i ever met him. he has cheated on his girlfriends before he's told me so, and some how i'm not supposed to be worried that he won't cheat, when he has opposed to him worrying about something that never will. his ex's have used "i love you" as a weapon against him, i don't say it unless i mean it. and i wasn't even gunna tell him cause he was like "why even say it when no one even means it". i was like "i was gunna tell you something but it doesn't matter cause you won't believe me, and you don't think people should say it." i have to keep telling him that i love him, which doesn't bother me cause i love him with all my heart, but it kinda gets on my nerves that he questions me about it like "do you love me?" "how much do you love me?". its almost like he's scared that one day i'll wake up and think that i don't love him anymore, if you really love someone love isn't like that.right?! cause actually this is the first time i've been in love. but yeah, if any one can give me any advice i would appreciate it.
 
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#2
sounds like this guy needs some councilling. he is holding on to the past and all the betrayal, and he wont let go. you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you have been feeling. tell him exactly what you wrote to us. i hope this helps! good luck, and let me know how it turns out! ~Sweet Pea~
 
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#3
I would say, don't feed into negativism. Just express your love to him.
Actions do speak louder than words. Also, it just takes time. He sounds kind
of hippocritical when he has cheated before. To me, you are definately not

a problem. Hugs & kisses are apart of a relationship. Talking & understanding
are another part of it too. Also the word :TIME: Relationships don't build
or bond over night. Have patience. Just keep being good to him. Always
leave him a note about where your going. Maybe he will do the same.

There is not a particular sentence of words that you could say that would
remedy the situation. Just stick to your part. Keep doing what your suppose to
be doing. See whether or not he keeps his end of the bargain as well.

ITs a 2 way STREET. TIME is the key word for you. IT is good to hear that
you were raised w/some good values. Be cautious. Be faithful right down to
the "T". IT sounds like so far so good. Just keep it up.

Do more affection & less talking. You both should please each other
sexually. Also please each other spiritually. Meaning "don't argue".

Good Luck. Hope this helps.
 
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#5
Sweet Pea said:
sounds like this guy needs some councilling. he is holding on to the past and all the betrayal, and he wont let go. you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you have been feeling. tell him exactly what you wrote to us. i hope this helps! good luck, and let me know how it turns out! ~Sweet Pea~
yes i agree with you there sweet pea
 

blondie_kay

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#6
:cry: he keeps getting upset and saying thats it's too much work, i love him so much, everytime he does it, it tears my heart. he says that he can't seperate past from present, i crushed on a guy a year ago, and he's worried that i still want this other guy. i'm 18 it's not like i just started noticing guys when i met him. i dont know if one of these times hes gunna mean it when he says he wants to break up, i thought he knew that i loved him, and wouldn't hurt him, but he keeps doing it again, i've never loved anyone, as much as i love him, but i can't make him believe me. please someone help me.............i don't know what to do!!!! any advive is welcome:cry:
 
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#7
blondie kay You should not be too much work for him. Every realtionship

takes some work on both parts. Both parties should express thier love toward
one another. Talk about your feelings to him. Sometimes you may have to do

less talking and more affection. Don't let him get to ya,just keep dishing out
your love until you win him over. Does he hug or kiss you in return?

Because thats how it is & should be. Keep being true to him.
Do some nice things for him & get him a few things maybe card & flowers

If he wears cologne get him his favorite. You should both try taking some
Gensing together. It takes time. Just be patient & keep doing whats right.

You can't go wrong. How long have the 2 of you been together ?

Regaurdless. Shower him w/ affection. Give him a back-rub. Go for him.
Get into him. Try some wine together. Anything. Good Luck.
 

Koala & Shona

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#8
Hi, I would just like to tell you that he is testing you an you have to be patient. Donot giveup pls. Atleast he is truthfull to you. I have a similler case as you have. But i am not in your character but in your boyfriend's one. I have not told my guy anything everything lie for 2 complete years. About my name, identity, family, background, everything you can possibly imagen. But i loved him with my whole heart. Never cheated him. I met him online so in starting i never trusted him. I said all soughts of lies i can except my likes, dislikes, my feelings towards him, and my love. When we started i was not serious but then with the course of time i became serious. Then i feared that now i will tell him all this he will leave me. so i hided all my reality. I had a previous boyfrien for a short period who use to question me blame me and fight with me. he use to ask my frnds abt me and whether i have any new bf or not. I left him because of this. and after 8 months i found him the love of my life. I really love him but now when i have told him truth he is not ready accept me. What should i do? How to make him understand that i really love him and only him. Its really tough. In a big shit, coz shit really happens.
 

sever1n

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#10
that is very hard situation...you cant do anything maybe you are no more attrictive to him, sry if im little cruel but that is my opinion....(im a male)
 

L1234

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#11
You just have to be patient and probably later he will realize that you're different. I don't think that it's possible to believe so soon as you would like. Patience...
 

Goodgrief

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#12
You are 18, not 81.
There's a whole world ahead. Forget about Mr. Gloom and Doom.
Go out, get a job if you don't have one already. Better yet, further your education.
Forget losers. This guy sounds as if he hasn't got a spine.

Believe me, relationships are always a work in progress. But trying to make ruins into a brand new castle is an impossible task. Say bye-bye to Mr. Drama Queen, move on.
 

stevent222

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#13
Dam, 2004 hope there still together cause marriage does mean something to me. And hope he's gotten over it.
 

Patrish

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#14
[QUOTE="blondie_kay, post: 276378]okay i have a question, why do i have to be punished for all his ex's mistakes?! i am nothing like them!! they have all cheated on him with their ex's i haven't had any ex's and i wouldn't cheat on him, i love him, i think cheating is low and i wasn't brought up to do stuff like that. he always questions me and i don't do anything to be questioned about, i always tell him the truth and i have been completely honest from the very first time i ever met him. he has cheated on his girlfriends before he's told me so, and some how i'm not supposed to be worried that he won't cheat, when he has opposed to him worrying about something that never will. his ex's have used "i love you" as a weapon against him, i don't say it unless i mean it. and i wasn't even gunna tell him cause he was like "why even say it when no one even means it". i was like "i was gunna tell you something but it doesn't matter cause you won't believe me, and you don't think people should say it." i have to keep telling him that i love him, which doesn't bother me cause i love him with all my heart, but it kinda gets on my nerves that he questions me about it like "do you love me?" "how much do you love me?". its almost like he's scared that one day i'll wake up and think that i don't love him anymore, if you really love someone love isn't like that.right?! cause actually this is the first time i've been in love. but yeah, if any one can give me any advice i would appreciate it.[/QUOTE]

He needs counseling. IMHO.
He has both cheated and been cheated on - if he is honestly wanting this to work, he has to get help so he can move forward into a healthy perspective of what relationships really are about.
 

kipper

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#15
[QUOTE="Patrish, post: 4065634]He needs counseling. IMHO.
He has both cheated and been cheated on - if he is honestly wanting this to work, he has to get help so he can move forward into a healthy perspective of what relationships really are about.[/QUOTE]


Maybe you should have posted this in 2004 when the thread originated. just saying
 
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#17
[QUOTE="kipper, post: 4065779]Maybe you should have posted this in 2004 when the thread originated. just saying[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE="muchtrouble10, post: 4067623]LOL Kipper! I think she has figured out the answer by now.[/QUOTE]

If she hasn't by now,........then maybe he needed counseling......but she definitely needs a psychiatrist!! View attachment 4436

Then again.....counseling? She was 18.... I guess they both just needed to grow up.....that was all!! :huh:
 

Mimi

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#18
[QUOTE="kipper, post: 4065779]Maybe you should have posted this in 2004 when the thread originated. just saying[/QUOTE]

LMAO Kipper! :laugh3:
 
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#20
[QUOTE="hortysir, post: 4138489]Hell, they're both probably dead of Herpes by now

:lookaroun




:hehehaha:[/QUOTE]

Dead of herpes?? :huh: