I want kids, he doesn't

[✯.ĶɩɭɭյoŶ.✯]

He has three from previous marriage, i have none. i want a baby, at least one. he doesn't- he says has nothing to do with the fact he has three already, but he isnt clear about why he doesnt want. and i just broke up with him. but i feel so bad, he has all i want, all i need, all i was looking for. but i want a baby!! i want it so badly, what if i get pregnant in purpose and he wants me to kill the baby? what if he leaves me then? he isnt mean, he isnt bad, he is almost perfect. my best friend always, just we started to get serious and had so far the best time, and i get this thrown to my face.

what do i do? walk away the best man i have met? my best friend who became my lover? the one person i have always trusted? or keep dreaming ill find someone to have a family with?

im destroyed. :crying::crying::crying::crying::crying::crying::crying:

 

[squirt]

it seems to be a deal breaker, but nobody can make that choice for you
anything is possible, but what if you hold onto hope that he changes his mind, but he doesn't?
I'm sorry you're hurting :zebrahug:

 

[✯.ĶɩɭɭյoŶ.✯]

[QUOTE="squirt, post: 5099069]it seems to be a deal breaker, but nobody can make that choice for you
anything is possible, but what if you hold onto hope that he changes his mind, but he doesn't?
I'm sorry you're hurting :zebrahug:[/QUOTE]

im so confused,
he is being selfish with me, cos he already has three, but i want one, i thought maybe im being dumb worrying about this if we havent come that far, but hw is looking for a land/property for US to go live at, so? lets say we move together, lets say we get married, and worry until then? when i'd be too in love to let him go? or i'd be too hurt when he leaves me? i thought i should worry now, when im in time to walk away. but i also now think he has all i ever wanted, too good to be true? he isnt a bad man, but what if he becomes ones when i get pregnant on purpose? i'd be ruining my life, his and a kids life. im so confused,

 

[squirt]

the best thing to do when you don't know what to do is nothing
a little time may make everything clearer for you
life has a way of sorting these things out :flowerforyou:

 

[✯.ĶɩɭɭյoŶ.✯]

[QUOTE="squirt, post: 5099091]the best thing to do when you don't know what to do is nothing
a little time may make everything clearer for you
life has a way of sorting these things out :flowerforyou:[/QUOTE]

he wrote, he doesnt want to break up. he says he thinks he is too old to have a baby. then said he wouldnt be able to retire when he planned cos he would have to work for kids collegue... i said im 12 years younger, and i have a job, and in my culture (we arent the same country) women arent princess to just ask for money and he knows it, he can retire whenever he wants, as i will take over the bills and things, and that was always my plan, to let him retire sooner than 60. he said we can work something out but to please nor breakup.

i said we will wait, and to take a break for at least 24 hours. cos i am still confused what i want. he also said no marriage. and im like ok, no baby, no marriage, in my culture is a huge dishonor to be just living together, and i'd be disowned by my family. he claims he didnt know that, anyways, im taking a break from our relationship, and hope it clears out in a way that benefit both, or better just go away,

thanks for your help, i vented, i feel better...i am gonna wait, i wont argue no more, i will wait

 

[squirt]

I'm glad you're feelin' better! :bravo:
:sendinglove:

 

[likeaneagle]

im so confused,
he is being selfish with me, cos he already has three, but i want one, i thought maybe im being dumb worrying about this if we havent come that far, but hw is looking for a land/property for US to go live at, so? lets say we move together, lets say we get married, and worry until then? when i'd be too in love to let him go? or i'd be too hurt when he leaves me? i thought i should worry now, when im in time to walk away. but i also now think he has all i ever wanted, too good to be true? he isnt a bad man, but what if he becomes ones when i get pregnant on purpose? i'd be ruining my life, his and a kids life. im so confused,

Every woman wants ,needs to have a baby. Think of those who cant or dont to want to! You go girl!!!!!!!

 

[sexysadie]

He has three from previous marriage, i have none. i want a baby, at least one. he doesn't- he says has nothing to do with the fact he has three already, but he isnt clear about why he doesnt want. and i just broke up with him. but i feel so bad, he has all i want, all i need, all i was looking for. but i want a baby!! i want it so badly, what if i get pregnant in purpose and he wants me to kill the baby? what if he leaves me then? he isnt mean, he isnt bad, he is almost perfect. my best friend always, just we started to get serious and had so far the best time, and i get this thrown to my face.

what do i do? walk away the best man i have met? my best friend who became my lover? the one person i have always trusted? or keep dreaming ill find someone to have a family with?

im destroyed. :crying::crying::crying::crying::crying::crying::crying:

I've been reading your story and I have to say that I really feel your pain. My older sister met a man when she was in her early 20's. She always knew that he didn't want kids, he had 2 from a previous marriage. She was ok with it because at the time she wasn't ready for kids anyway but when she hit 30, she started thinking about it and brought the subject of kids up to him again and he said absolutely not. Her heart was broken but she loved him and thought that she could change his mind in time, but it didn't happen. In her 40's and still childless she came to terms with the fact that she didn't want kids anymore, and kept it at that. It wasn't until she turned 45 and had to have a total histerectomy that she actually let it sink in. She wanted children. Her and this man have separated since but she often wonders what her life would have been like if she had lived for herself a long time ago and had a family. Instead she put her needs and wants on a back burner...something she'll always regret. I hope you get what you want in life. Remember to live for yourself first, don't disregard your own dreams.

 

[AuroraAngel]

Hi,
It's hard but just wait until both of you want a baby.

Welcome to the Roo, Shiba.