Interesting Quotes

LAWRENCE

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#1
If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap!" -Delta Burke

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. -Roseanne

I am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want it. -Bill Cosby

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. -Tim Allen

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." -Elayne Boosler

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. -Phyllis Diller

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. -Tim Allen

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -George Carlin

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

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LAWRENCE

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#3
Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should
treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave
you, they should give you two weeks notice. There should be
severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to
find you a temp."

- Bob Ettinger
 

LAWRENCE

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#4
;)

"Magician David Blain is going to crawl into a block of ice and
stay there for two days. Apparently he practiced by having an
affair with Martha Stewart."

- Conan O'Brien

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LAWRENCE

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#5
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884 - 1962
 

LAWRENCE

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#6
Dollars and guns are no substitutes for brains and will power.

Humility must always be the portion of any man who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers and the sacrifices of his friends.

I despise all adjectives that try to describe people as liberal or conservative, rightist or leftist, as long as they stay in the useful part of the road.

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.

I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

You do not lead by hitting people over the head. That's assault, not leadership

All from Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1890 - 1969
 

indianajoe

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#7
"Whiskey don't make liars, it just makes fools" ~ James McMurtry

excert form song "Too Long In The Wasteland"
 

LAWRENCE

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#8
Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path. But the lesson to be learned is always ours.

- Melody Beattie



Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.

- W. Somerset Maugham, 1874 - 1965
 

LAWRENCE

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#9
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like and do what you'd rather not.


Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Mark Twain, 1835 - 1910
 

LAWRENCE

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#10
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of
your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you."

- Rita Mae Brown
 

LAWRENCE

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#11
I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
--Unknown

Wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future and your hopes will not be cut short.
--Proverbs 24:14

The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
--Unknown
 

LAWRENCE

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#13
:huh2:

When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it and don't repeat it.

--Paul "Bear" Bryant


The trouble with practical jokes is that very often, they get elected.

--Will Rogers

It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.

--George Washington
 

LAWRENCE

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#14
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one
I've never tried before."

- Mae West
 

LAWRENCE

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#15
The reverse side also has a reverse side.

--Japanese proverb



Those in possession of absolute power cannot only prophesy and make their prophecies come true, but they can also lie and make their lies come true.

--Eric Hoffer
 

LAWRENCE

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#18
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.

--William Shakespeare



The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.

--Chinese proverb
 

LAWRENCE

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#19
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

--Helen Keller
 

LAWRENCE

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#20
"My mom said she learned how to swim as a child. Someone took her
out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she
learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach
you how to swim.'"

- Paula Poundstone