It says, Tell us about yourself, so here goes

roadkill

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Dec 27, 2005
Messages
21,555
Likes
971
#21
bravo.gif
 

Istvan

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
23
Likes
28
#22
Just watching a program "Wildest Africa", which reminds me of when I was there
In parts of Africa, contrary to popular opinion, many of the ruminants altho wild still have owners These animals are rounded up and marked manually or in other words, once a year, normally during the winter, in order that ownership can be claimed, a bit like Swan Upping, it's alright they can't touch you for it.
This event is carried out with great ceremony and is an important event, all the local tribal leaders attend, it is a great honor to be allowed to watch and much alcohol is consumed.
Only the bravest of the warriors are allow to partake in the ceremony, for the animals are still wild and very fierce, they herded past the branders, who use a long metal rod, like the American cowboys, except it is bent instead of straight, they do not press the branding iron on to an immobilized animal, but rather hit them as they run past, rather like some-one spanking a person as they run past them, this is known as
"Brand Spanking Gnu"

One year the district was "Troubled" with a group of lions, TROUBLED, they were eating the natives, so that they were worried that they would be un-able to hold the ceremony and thus break the tradition of centuries. But the didn't need to worry because suddenly at the end of August the lions suddenly left the district, as I had been telling them in their local broken English dialect, the Pride goeth before the fall
 

Istvan

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
23
Likes
28
#26
one day Noddy got up early and thought 'What a lovely day, I will go and see my friend Big-ears and we can go for a ride in my big red motor-car and have a picnic' so he got into his motor-car and drove along the road, when he came to dark woods he saw some Gollies, and he shouted out "Don't stop me now Gollies because I am going to see my friend Big-ears and we are going for a ride in my big red motor-car and we are going to have a picnic“. on he drove until he saw Mr.Police-man Plod, “Hallo Mr.Police-man Plod, I am going to see my friend Big-ears and we are going for a ride in my big red motor-car and we are going to have a picnic“ so he drove until he got to Big Ears’ house, where he saw that the curtains were still drawn and he thought ‘What a silly big Ears still being in bed on the lovely day, I do hope that my friend Big-ears come for a ride in my big red motor-car and so that we can have a picnic’.
So he knock on the door of Big Ears’ house and Big ears stuck his head out of his bed-room window and said “Piss off Noddy can’t you see I’ve got a bird in?”
 
Joined
Jun 4, 2004
Messages
11,380
Likes
286
#28
one day Noddy got up early and thought 'What a lovely day, I will go and see my friend Big-ears and we can go for a ride in my big red motor-car and have a picnic' so he got into his motor-car and drove along the road, when he came to dark woods he saw some Gollies, and he shouted out "Don't stop me now Gollies because I am going to see my friend Big-ears and we are going for a ride in my big red motor-car and we are going to have a picnic“. on he drove until he saw Mr.Police-man Plod, “Hallo Mr.Police-man Plod, I am going to see my friend Big-ears and we are going for a ride in my big red motor-car and we are going to have a picnic“ so he drove until he got to Big Ears’ house, where he saw that the curtains were still drawn and he thought ‘What a silly big Ears still being in bed on the lovely day, I do hope that my friend Big-ears come for a ride in my big red motor-car and so that we can have a picnic’.
So he knock on the door of Big Ears’ house and Big ears stuck his head out of his bed-room window and said “Piss off Noddy can’t you see I’ve got a bird in?”
Whatever you smoked, snorted or popped, take it easy!!
 

Istvan

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
23
Likes
28
#33
the word is Middle English bird, byrd, burde, perhaps alteration of Old English brȳd bride, it was a poetic c.1200 word for "woman, lady" in old ballads; later "young lady, maiden;"
A derivation "Burd" is use in Scotland as meaning 1. fiance 2. fiancee 3. girlfriend 4. girlfriend 5. lass
 

Istvan

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
23
Likes
28
#34
just to further explain, in English/Scottish Bird, Byrde, Burd equals American; Frail or Broad, which another word which can cause confusion when visiting Americans are told "Should visit the Norfolk Broads" and find themselves very disappointed when they do
 

Istvan

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
23
Likes
28
#35
BTW I understand that in the USA they drive on the Right, I can not believe that they do not have more accidents, when I tried this last week near my home in the South of England I nearly had 3 accidents in only 10 minutes
 

Bamber

Super Moderator
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
41,931
Likes
779
#36
the word is Middle English bird, byrd, burde, perhaps alteration of Old English brȳd bride, it was a poetic c.1200 word for "woman, lady" in old ballads; later "young lady, maiden;"

A derivation "Burd" is use in Scotland as meaning 1. fiance 2. fiancee 3. girlfriend 4. girlfriend 5. lass
just to further explain, in English/Scottish Bird, Byrde, Burd equals American; Frail or Broad, which another word which can cause confusion when visiting Americans are told "Should visit the Norfolk Broads" and find themselves very disappointed when they do
All very well, but apart from being a Noddy and Big Ears story, was there supposed to be something humorous in the tale?
 
Last edited: