Konifur get discombobulated with the English Language (Poem)

konifur

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#1
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give you a boot — would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
So our English, I think you will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

:nsbapoi:
 
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TwiztedAngel

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#3
I just love it when the scammers write, because they never get it right.

One can tell it was pasted after being copied, to get money for more drugs made from poppies.

If they can manage to steal enough from the rich ones, their "generals" get to buy more guns.

Don't even try to understand their sentence structure. Doing so would just make your head rupture.
 

Geoff_the_Beard

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#4
Good ones, Koni! A great many years ago I had a girlfriend who was French and taught English in Paris. She told me that these complications aren't all that difficult - she has lists of all the common "difficult" ones. She never did share those lists with me, but I like to think that my grasp of the language is good - I had a superb teacher in my early years. As a result, I have always found grammar and spelling easy.
 

squirt

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#5
been speaking it my whole life, though some might dispute that lol :giggles:
 

konifur

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#6
I just speak Mackem, so none of the above counts.

I live in " Tyne & wear " but why isn`t, "wear" spelt "weir" ?

:nsbapoi:
 

Bamber

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#7
[QUOTE="konifur, post: 4711958]...but why isn`t, "wear" spelt "weir" ?[/QUOTE]
'Cos you Mackems are weard.