I just can`t win.....
It's been snowing all night. So:
8:00 I made a snowman
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman
8:15 So, I made a snow woman
8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere
8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead
8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot noses, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman must wear a burqa
8:40 Three Police cars arrive saying someone has been offended
8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicts women in a domestic role
8:43 The council equalities officer arrived and threatened me with prosecution
8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.
9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, pervert, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather
9:10 Far left protestors offended by everything are marching calling for my head
9:29 My kids are taken from me and I lose my job.