Ladies Only! Fantasies and Pleasing Yourself

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#1
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Understanding fantasies

There's a huge range of personal taste in sexual fantasy as there is in anything else.

But many people feel uncomfortable worrying that their fantasies may reveal something about them. That they're somehow weird to be turned on by something that may be unacceptable to someone else.

Our sexual fantasies may express a hidden aspect of our unconscious mind. For example fantasies about being submissive or passive may be linked to a desire to experience high sexual arousal without personal responsibility.

But often our fantasies are simply somewhere we can act out the things we'd never actually do in real life. Like having sex in a public place or with a particular person.

The benefits of fantasy

There are many benefits to sexual fantasy. The most obvious being that for many people, sex starts in the brain.

So an active imagination can mean that you're ready for sex before anything physical has even started. Therefore, desire is heightened and arousal is much quicker.

Some people find an active fantasy life can add novelty to a long standing sexual relationship. This can be particularly helpful if your partner is not as sexually adventurous as you are.

But conversely, for some who find it embarrassing to experiment in bed - fantasy can provide an opportunity to imagine and role play. Fantasy can become a practice arena where confidence can be built before embarking on something new.

In Psychosexual Therapy , fantasy is often used to block out negative thoughts. If you find during sexual encounters your mind wanders to unhelpful images or thoughts, using fantasy can help you to refocus on your sexual pleasure.

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Learning to fatasise

If you're not one of those people who find sexual fantasy comes easily and naturally - you can learn.

Many people have found that erotica can help them to build their fantasies. You could explore the bookshops for fantasy books and erotic art. There's a wealth of magazines you can buy for any taste. And your local video rental store will offer a range of films from romantic or slapstick, to thriller and more sexually explicit 18s.

Find out what turns you on. Then with the help of relaxation techniques, lie back and allow your mind to build your personal favourite.

-- Courtesy BBC Sexual Health

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Pleasing Yourself

"Don't knock masturbation" said Woody Allen "It's sex with someone I love." And it's also excellent practice for shared pleasure because when you know how to arouse and satisfy yourself, you can pass on that knowledge to a partner.

Masturbation is normal and common for both sexes - yes, women do it too. Teenagers do it and so do adults.

Masturbation is good for you
Masturbation is more than harmless - it's positively beneficial. It's pleasurable, relaxing and self-affirming. Self-exploration and self-understanding are also vital keys to good lovemaking in a relationship.

No-one is born knowing how their or anyone else's body responds to sexual stimulation. You have to learn by trial and error. And since everyone is different, the only way of knowing how to please your partner is to learn from them. It's also common and normal for adults in a happy relationship to sometimes feel like pleasing themselves.

Taking your time

Concentrate on those areas that particularly excite you, but try not to stimulate only the most obvious bits.

You're likely to bring yourself to an orgasm by stimulating your clitoris, but both your arousal and climax will be more exciting and satisfying if you arouse as much as your body as possible rather than just going for the main area.

Pay special attention to anything that seems to set your teeth on edge or make you jump - pain or discomfort is often the other side of the coin of pleasure. So if at first it makes you shy away it could in fact be the touch that is going to give you the greatest result.


-- Courtesy BBC Sexual Health

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sassypants

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#2
:devil: I usually use my trademark..the yin~yang............but feel..well..... :devil: ~ish!



I have a very open opinion about SEX am the first person to say.......GO FOR IT!

Whether you take care of yourself or have a partner....there is no bad SEX.Never fake an Orgasm or that is all you will get.I have always tried to make the other person feel good first and now.......it is my turn.I can have many many orgasms and still want more! There is nothing wrong with making yourself feel better...
but am the very first to say...Yes when asked! I love SEX and it is not a bad thing!Enjoy..and go for it!:devil:
 
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#3
sassypants said:
:devil: I usually use my trademark..the yin~yang............but feel..well..... :devil: ~ish!



I have a very open opinion about SEX am the first person to say.......GO FOR IT!

Whether you take care of yourself or have a partner....there is no bad SEX.Never fake an Orgasm or that is all you will get.I have always tried to make the other person feel good first and now.......it is my turn.I can have many many orgasms and still want more! There is nothing wrong with making yourself feel better...
but am the very first to say...Yes when asked! I love SEX and it is not a bad thing!Enjoy..and go for it!:devil:

mmmmmmmmmmm SassyPants .. I like the way you think! :devil:
 

suya

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#6
sassypants said:
:devil: I usually use my trademark..the yin~yang............but feel..well..... :devil: ~ish!



I have a very open opinion about SEX am the first person to say.......GO FOR IT!

Whether you take care of yourself or have a partner....there is no bad SEX.Never fake an Orgasm or that is all you will get.I have always tried to make the other person feel good first and now.......it is my turn.I can have many many orgasms and still want more! There is nothing wrong with making yourself feel better...
but am the very first to say...Yes when asked! I love SEX and it is not a bad thing!Enjoy..and go for it!:devil:
masturbation (mutual or self) is healthy if you ask me. Fantasies only help add to the enjoyment. And I agree never EVER fake it. I would much rather tell/show you what to do to make me feel good. If you fake it the other person may never know what you really enjoy.
 

Stormyspider

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#7
An active imagination can mean that you're ready for sex before anything physical has even started. Therefore, desire is heightened and arousal is much quicker. This is so true for me! My mind runs WILD...even before "Mr. Perfect" gets there hehehehe
 

krissy04

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#9
I agree with sassypants. There is NEVER bad sex. Sex is good no matter what!
Whether it's fast,slow,hard,gentle,crazy,2 minutes or 2 hours...it's GREAT!!!
 

AutumnRain

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#10
There IS bad sex..
if you want sex, and your partner does, but you are both tired.. sex can be crap..
it can be crap too if your partner isnt giving it all or if you feel you arent.. it happens..

Masturbation is good, real good. how can you expect someone to please you if you dont know how to please yourself?
I love to see my partner please himself, then I know what he likes and how to do it with a little extra action thrown in by me..Grapes and a can of cream ;) ;) I know he loves to watch me too. but then what guy or girl doesnt love to watch someone masturbate?
Trouble is he cant keep his hands to himself .. not that I ever complain about it :)
 
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#12
defintely into self pleasure as well as in pleasing my man. At first he thought he was doing something wrong and i said NO I trust me hes said alright and it makes our nights twice as nice and it also strengthens our intimacy alot more meaningful and secure.
 
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#15
Self pleasure is good for you.. N Like stated above if you dont know what you like or all that then how are u gonna let ur partner know?

I read in Xavier Hollander's book Fantastic Sex, that if you fantasize about a fantasy long enough that it will eventually come true. So that might be true. It aint happened for me.. But hey im only 19.. So I have lots of fantasies..Im very open minded.. I like sex..

I will try almost anything once and even more if I like it.. So..

Please yourself and ur partner. And stay open minded.
 
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#16
I know this is gonna sound kinda weird, but....I kinda dig Bea Aurthur.... ;) LOL


and yeah, sure.....I'm usually always quite pleased, and sometimes I please myself... :sigh:

 
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#17
now i have to say that masterbation to yourself is one of the most disgusting things ever i would not dream i couldnt bring myself to do it..... no offence to people who do do it and being tied up is really kinky i think and being blindfolded so u dont know whats coming next i love it....... anyway lol
 

SpiderWeb

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#20
Itsnotgonnaspankitself... said:
what if you masturbate blindfolded while you're tied up???

hmmmmm ..... how would I be tied???? ..... sounds interesting though .... :sigh: :lookaroun