Limericks - please add

brilor

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There once was a girl called Louise,
Whose pubes hung down to her knees,
So the crabs in her twat,
Tied her hairs in a platt,
And constructed a flying trapeze

 

brilor

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There once was a fellow named Dave
Who dug up a whore from her grave
She was mouldy as shit
And missing a tit
But think of the money he saved

 

brilor

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There was a young vampire called Mabel
With periods exceedingly stable
By the light of the moon
She sat down with a spoon
And drank herself under the table


 

brilor

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A lady who lived on a hill
Used dynamite sticks for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

 

brilor

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Doctor Foster went to Gloucester
In a shower of rain.
There were hundreds of Iraqi's
And plenty of Paki's
So he never went there again.

 

brilor

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There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so big he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped cum off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it!"

 

brilor

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There once was a young girl of Tonga
Used to diddle herself with a conger.
When asked how it feels
To be pleasured by eels,
She said, "Just like a man, only longer."

 

brilor

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A black tennis player called Venus
And her sister Serena have seen us
As mugs for not knowing
That the bulges they're showing
Are a pair of big balls and a penis

 

brilor

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A big catholic layman named Fox
Makes his living from sucking off cocks
In spells of depression
He goes to confession
And jacks off the priest in the box


 

brilor

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An accident oh so uncanny
Befell my unfortunate granny
she sat on a chair
Her false teeth were there
and bit her right on the fanny

 

brilor

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there once was a man called jack
didnt have a job because he was black
he made all his money
pimping out honeys
and dealing weed and crack

 

brilor

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A randy young woman called Pat
Liked to pleasure herself with her cat
It tried hiding one day
But what gave it away
Was the tail hanging out of her twat

 

brilor

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There was once a man from China,
Who wasn't a very good climber,
He slipped on a rock,
Cut open his cock,
And now he's got a vagina.

 
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There was an old man from Gosham,
who took out his balls to wash ’em,
his wife said “Jack!,
if you don’t put ‘em back,
I’ll stand on the fuckers and squash ’em!”
 
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There once was a lass called Louise,
who’s cunt smelt like Limburger Cheese,
she leaked so much grunge,
that she purchased a sponge,
that sopped up the muck to her knees.
 
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There was a young man from Bombay,
who shagged 20 chickens a day,
he wouldn’t stop fucking,
till they all started clucking,
then he’d eat all the eggs that they lay.
 
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There once was a man from Leeds,
who swallowed a packet of seeds,
within half an hour,
his dick was a flower,
and his balls were all covered with weeds.
 
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There was a young girl named Sapphire,
who succumbed to her lover’s desire,
she said “It’s a sin,
but now that it’s in,
could you shove it a few inches higher?”
 
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There was a young girl from Hong Kong,
whose cervical cap was a gong,
she said with a yell,
as a shot rang her bell,
“I’ll give you a ding for a dong!”
 
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There once was a lady from Reno,
who lost all her cash playing keno,
so she laid on her back,
opened her crack,
and now she owns the casino.