Little Johnny

brilor

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Little Johnny is sitting in front of the TV watching a program about NASA.
"I wish I could be shot into space".
He said.


"You would have been if your father had done what he was told" replied his mother......
 

brilor

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But Johnny wasn't popular with the girls and was always left alone. And due to his *frustration*, and without *hesitation*, her turned to *masterbation* to achieve his *jubilation*.
 

brilor

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Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
 

brilor

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Little Johnny keeps asking his Dad for a television in his bedroom, to which his Dad keeps saying "No". After all the nagging, he agrees and says, OK".

Several nights later Johnny comes downstairs and asks, "Dad, what's Love, Juice?"

Dad is horrified, and after looking at Mum who's also gob smacked, proceeds to give his son the whole works, warts and all. Johnny now sits on sofa with his mouth open in amazement.

Dad asks, "So, what is it you've been watching then Son?"

Johnny replies: "Wimbledon."
 

stevent222

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A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression “I presume”.​

One little girl held up her hand and said: “Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and​

I presumed that the dishwasher was broken.”

“Very good” said the teacher.​

Another one said: “This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage, I presume that​

the BMW wouldn’t start.”​

“That’s excellent” says the teacher.

Little Johnny at the back of the classroom gets up and says: “Yesterday I saw grandpa leave​

the house with a newspaper under his arm and headed for the bush, I presume that.......”​

The teacher interrupted him and said, “I stopped you because you have no idea​

what your grandfather was going to do, so you can’t presume anything.”

Johnny says, “Please Teacher, let me finish my sentence.”

The teacher says, “Very well. Continue.”

“As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the bush with a newspaper under his arm.​

I presume he was going for a shit because he can’t read.”​