[FONT="]I bumped into my mate in the pub last night who was looking a bit glum, so I asked him what was up.[/FONT] [FONT="]"Well, I can't afford anything anymore so I've had to cancel my golf and gym memberships, my Satellite TV package and have to cut down on fags to 20 a week" he sighed.[/FONT] [FONT="]"Because of the recession?" I asked.[/FONT] [FONT="]"No" he replied. "I've been forced off benefits and been made to get a f****** job.
Like most people, I like to do something a little different at the weekend. On Saturdays I become Jewish, because that's their day of rest. On Sundays I become Christian, because that's their day of rest. Then for the remainder of the week, I go back to being a Mackem.
[FONT="]Mackem Bloke Dials 999[/FONT] [FONT="]Police Whats your emergency?[/FONT] [FONT="]Bloke There are two women having a fight outside the pub[/FONT] [FONT="]Police What are they fighting about? Bloke They are fighting over me. Police Sorry sir we dont class that as an emergency please call 101 and make a report Bloke It is an emergency...The Fat One is Winning